Venting Dying a virgin

[wanttosleep]

Ive always wished for death but never actively sought it out till now. But now that I am actively buying and planning to CTB I am thinking about what I want to do before I leave and the things I've missed out on. I'm currently 31 gay man who has never had sex, dated, kissed or held hands with someone I liked. It is split between being fat and ugly, having no self worth, believing I am unworthy of love and that I repressed all my feelings since a teenager out of fear of being outed and being kicked out of home or being beaten and killed because of it. But now I want to have sex once just to see what I have been missing out on. Sex work is legal where I am. Can any of you relate? Do any of you plan to lose your v card before CTB? Have any of you done it? Do you think I should?

 

[EndJstifiesTheMeans]

Im still virgin but for chooise, honestly i want to lose it only with the person i love

 

[painful existence]

I am 30 ( unattractive) and a virgin.However this isn't the reason why I want to CTB.
To be honest if my mental health was good ,I would have accepted my physical appearance.Also I know I would remain a virgin for the rest of my life and I am okay with that.

 

[onceinthefuturewas]

I also have the same thoughts as you sometimes. If I'm gonnna die someday, then even if I don't have a partner and am still single, why not have the experience of sex? At least I can pretend that I'm loved before CTBing. Though, that's just how I view things

 

[Gaga786]

Im a 20 year old, gay man who won't ever have a relationship so I'll have to be a virgin my entire life thanks to this homophobic country snd society . It does suck. Im sorry for your situation.

 

[wanttosleep]

Im a 20 year old, gay man who won't ever have a relationship so I'll have to be a virgin my entire life thanks to this homophobic country snd society . It does suck. Im sorry for your situation.

I'm sorry for yours as well I'm fortunate enough to be living where it has become much more accepting but I know around the world where the fear is still very real for lgbtqia+ folks.

 

[doneforlife]

I am so sorry to hear this. I don't know if there will come a time where society will accept this whole heartedly. The govt. may change the laws , but changing the mentality of people is a different story altogether. Same goes for VAD. Even if the govt. may introduce it , society will keep protesting.

 

[busybee]

I used to feel like that. If you are curious go for it. Just do it safely and do some research. Certain things for people of your orientation take preparation and things like lube. Listen to your gut and if you change your mind back out of it.
I did lose my V-card at 25. I don't feel any different. My expectations were too high and weren't met.

 

[wanttosleep]

I used to feel like that. If you are curious go for it. Just do it safely and do some research. Certain things for people of your orientation take preparation and things like lube. Listen to your gut and if you change your mind back out of it.
I did lose my V-card at 25. I don't feel any different. My expectations were too high and weren't met.

Yeah I have social anxiety and talking to strangers face to face is difficult enough without having to negotiate transactional sex. I don't expect it to be life changing or to be change after the experience. At this point I'm more curious about sex like Im curious about what human taste like if I get a chance sure if not so be it. Also I'm well prepared I may not have had sex I have a collection of umm silicone sculptures.

 

[winamp]

I am still a virgin by choice and I don't think I am missing out on anything

but also sex weirds me out and is embarrassing and gross to me and I have a rational and irrational fear of pregnancy and STDs/STIs and I am afraid of the pain and it seems weird to be nude in front of some person

even though I am fearful of sex because of all the things mentioned above I still have a bit of curiosity

but if I were to get rid of that it would have to be with someone who I know that I can trust or someone who is going to stay with me for a long time but I also find romance (I find romance a bit weird and uncomfortable) and relationships confusing and I don't understand them or get them so I think I will be just fine staying a virgin by choice

but also I cannot predict the future

 

[front of me]

Sex may be a kind of good thing, but it is not everything that it is like a video game that you enjoy or anything else, there are important things that I prefer, such as having a person with me who always cares about him and he is the most important iam gay 29

 

[venin]

Sex is definetely something worth experiencing. If you find a person that you would find suitable, I highly recommend doing it.

Take care

 

[angel_cries]

Ive always wished for death but never actively sought it out till now. But now that I am actively buying and planning to CTB I am thinking about what I want to do before I leave and the things I've missed out on. I'm currently 31 gay man who has never had sex, dated, kissed or held hands with someone I liked. It is split between being fat and ugly, having no self worth, believing I am unworthy of love and that I repressed all my feelings since a teenager out of fear of being outed and being kicked out of home or being beaten and killed because of it. But now I want to have sex once just to see what I have been missing out on. Sex work is legal where I am. Can any of you relate? Do any of you plan to lose your v card before CTB? Have any of you done it? Do you think I should?

Can't relate to being virgin but being a sex addict; having sex, lots of it, in my last day is a must in my bucket list. I already planned spending half of my budget on sex work but if everything work out with my CTB partner I might be spending on expensive booze or a really nice dinner for both of us. Sex is something that gets better the more experienced you are but if you can do it only once I would say "go for it". Even tho causal sex can be good if I had to give you a tip it would be to look for someone that would do it passionately with you. Even if it is just an illusion of love, is something worth experiencing (especially in your case as you were really sexually deprived of affection in your time among us).