Help Drugs/SH methods that can make me into a child mentally?

[AnHeroTransGirl]

Once I move out, I plan on giving myself injuries/drugs to make myself a kid again. My girlfriend already assumes the role of a "mommy" to me. (Both SFW and NSFW) She's worried about me doing something like this but I know she will love me regardless if I do it or not. Why injure myself in such a way? Simple, I hate being an adult. I would just CTB for this and tell the angels "I'm sorry but I couldn't do it" but I love her too much to put her through the pain of me CTBing and she said she would CTB if she did and I want her to live a full life if I pass away. So to compromise, I want to take away 90% of the reasons I hate existing by making myself a kid forever. I'll be naive and happier, and being disabled means I never have to work again (work being one of the many reasons I self harm). How would I go about doing this? Just pretending isn't enough.

 

[Anonymoususer1234]

Please think this through a bit more thoughly. Being disabled is not easy. You aren't guaranteed a caregiver. Even if you have one right now that's subject to change. Government assistance, in most places is difficult or impossible to obtain.

Not being able to work is a horrific position to be in. You would be making yourself completely vulnerable to the whims of the people around you.

Also worth mentioning that no disability in the world will make you into a child again, because disabled adults are not children. They are adults.

Even with reduced physical and/or mental capacity, you would still feel the full range of adult emotions. Sometimes, even more so. People who suffer from traumatic brain injuries often struggle with emotional regulation to an extreme degree, for example.

The concept of "mental age" as it relates to disability is both outdated and flawed. (In most cases)

I understand wishing you had one disability instead of another. I've been there. Fuck, I am there most of the time.

But you cannot become a child again. Humans age. That's just nature.

You have a right to choose what you do. You have autonomy. You can choose to debilitate yourself. But please be careful. Because doing so (often) means being robbed of your ability to choose anything. Even decisions as simple as what to wear, eat and when to go to bed are taken out of the hands of disabled people.

You're welcome to make any choice you want. But you should know the risks of your choices before you make them. Being disabled is not fun. It is not a state of eternal childhood.

 

[AnHeroTransGirl]

Please think this through a bit more thoughly. Being disabled is not easy. You aren't guaranteed a caregiver. Even if you have one right now that's subject to change. Government assistance, in most places is difficult or impossible to obtain.

Not being able to work is a horrific position to be in. You would be making yourself completely vulnerable to the whims of the people around you.

Also worth mentioning that no disability in the world will make you into a child again, because disabled adults are not children. They are adults.

Even with reduced physical and/or mental capacity, you would still feel the full range of adult emotions. Sometimes, even more so. People who suffer from traumatic brain injuries often struggle with emotional regulation to an extreme degree, for example.

The concept of "mental age" as it relates to disability is both outdated and flawed. (In most cases)

I understand wishing you had one disability instead of another. I've been there. Fuck, I am there most of the time.

But you cannot become a child again. Humans age. That's just nature.

You have a right to choose what you do. You have autonomy. You can choose to debilitate yourself. But please be careful. Because doing so (often) means being robbed of your ability to choose anything. Even decisions as simple as what to wear, eat and when to go to bed are taken out of the hands of disabled people.

You're welcome to make any choice you want. But you should know the risks of your choices before you make them. Being disabled is not fun. It is not a state of eternal childhood.

I'm sure there's something out there that can permanently make me a child. There's literally someone on this site with a disability so bad that they type like they're having stroke yet I can't be a kid again? I'm not here for a lecture. I know what I'm doing and I know what I want.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I don't think that's a very good idea. Any sort of drugs or injury that would that make you "child-like" will also affect your body in many other ways. Plus, you'll end up being a burden on your girlfriend. Do you really want your girlfriend to be stuck with having to provide you around the clock care, along with probably having to provide for you guys financially? Do you really want to risk potentially ruining not just your life but also your girlfriend's life? Not just that, but if you fuck up then you may end up in a vegetative state.

Even if you did succeed, you'd still be an adult, just a disabled one. Being a child is something you can never truly get back. Once your childhood is gone, it's gone for good. Being disabled is just going to make your life a living hell.

Hell, my dad is disabled now and suffers from a TBI and life is definitely harder for him now than it was before. Please don't do this to yourself.

 

[darkenmydoorstep]

Agree completely and there are no guarantees said GF would stick around either.

Also, if you then did want to CTB, this could be far more difficult if not impossible to effect.

Sounds like you have a romanticised view of disability. It's not just having someone care for you.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I'm sure there's something out there that can permanently make me a child. There's literally someone on this site with a disability so bad that they type like they're having stroke yet I can't be a kid again? I'm not here for a lecture. I know what I'm doing and I know what I want.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty they've made it clear that being disabled isn't fun and actually makes their life more difficult.

 

[AnHeroTransGirl]

I don't think that's a very good idea. Any sort of drugs or injury that would that make you "child-like" will also affect your body in many other ways. Plus, you'll end up being a burden on your girlfriend. Do you really want your girlfriend to be stuck with having to provide you around the clock care, along with probably having to provide for you guys financially? Do you really want to risk potentially ruining not just your life but also your girlfriend's life? Not just that, but if you fuck up then you may end up in a vegetative state.

Even if you did succeed, you'd still be an adult, just a disabled one. Being a child is something you can never truly get back. Once your childhood is gone, it's gone for good. Being disabled is just going to make your life a living hell.

Hell, my dad is disabled now and suffers from a TBI and life is definitely harder for him now than it was before. Please don't do this to yourself.

I know what I'm doing. She said she'll enjoy "taking care of" me and is still suggesting "safe" options that I don't think will work for me. I know what I'm doing, and I know what I want.

Agree completely and there are no guarantees said GF would stick around either.

Also, if you then did want to CTB, this could be far more difficult if not impossible to effect.

Sounds like you have a romanticised view of disability. It's not just having someone care for you.

I'm not looking to be a freeloader. I'm looking to not hate existing but not CTBing.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty they've made it clear that being disabled isn't fun and actually makes their life more difficult.

I never said it was fun for them, I just said if that is possible then surely this is.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I know what I'm doing. She said she'll enjoy "taking care of" me and is still suggesting "safe" options that I don't think will work for me. I know what I'm doing, and I know what I want.

I never said it was fun for them, I just said if that is possible then surely this is.

Dude, you know people will talk about how they would enjoy taking are of a baby, but then they have a baby and they end up feeling miserable? Same thing applies here.

Taking care of a disabled person is hard and unlike a baby, if the results of the injury are permanent, then that means she's going to be stuck taking are of you for the rest of her life. Do you think she'd enjoy having to constantly drive you around for different appointments with different healthcare professionals since you'll likely require a lot of different types of examination? Do you think she'll enjoy potentially having to spend her time helping you go to the toilet? Feeding you? Having to help you out with the most basic of tasks? Trying to understand what you are trying to communicate to her? Do you think she'd enjoy having to look at the empty shell of the person she once fell in love with? Do you think that she would enjoy questioning if it's her fault that you did this to yourself? Do you think she'd enjoy crying due to a mixture of grief, stress, and frustration over essentially losing you, since you won't be you anymore? Over having no more time to herself anymore? Over struggling to have all your needs met?

 

[Little_Suzy]

If your girlfriend wanted a child, they would have one!

What you desire is not in their best interests. You don't have a job, no money, no house, no car, and you'll need disability care.

Since they can't collect benefits on your behalf as a spouse, is the girlfriend wealthy?


Then there's the ethical issue. Is it acceptable for an adult girlfriend to engage in "sex" with a child?


Please stop posting weird fetishes in the Suicide Discussion Forum. There is an OffTopic forum.

 

[AnHeroTransGirl]

Dude, you know people will talk about how they would enjoy taking are of a baby, but then they have a baby and they end up feeling miserable?

No I do not.

If your girlfriend wanted a child, they would have one!

What you desire is not in their best interests. You don't have a job, no money, no house, no car, and you'll need disability care.

Since they can't collect benefits on your behalf as a spouse, is the girlfriend wealthy?


Then there's the ethical issue. Is it acceptable for an adult girlfriend to engage in "sex" with a child?


Please stop posting weird fetishes in the Suicide Discussion Forum. There is an OffTopic forum.

This isn't a fetish, the fact that you consider it as such says more about you then me. I've stated my reasoning. It's not sexual, nor is it selfish

 

[EvisceratedJester]

No I do not.

Could you maybe read and respond to my whole post?

 

[AnHeroTransGirl]

Could you maybe read and respond to my whole post?

I did, that sentence ties into everything you typed because you're insinuating that I don't know what I want when I do

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I did, that sentence ties into everything you typed because you're insinuating that I don't know what I want when I do

So you want your girlfriend to potentially end up becoming depressed because the person she loved did something reckless and selfish? Dude, if you want to fuck over you and your girlfriend's life then go ahead, but don't come back complaining about it afterwards (that being if you're even left with the capacity to do so).

 

[AnHeroTransGirl]

So you want your girlfriend to potentially end up becoming depressed because the person she loved did something reckless and selfish? Dude, if you want to fuck over you and your girlfriend's life then go ahead, but don't come back complaining about it afterwards (that being if you're even left with the capacity to do so).

I told you it's not selfish. I want to not hate existing. I've already told you she's not against the idea of being a maternal figure. You're getting hostile at me for just knowing what I want and what's best for my mental health because it MIGHT hurt others. And that's a very big "might" as in zero chance.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I told you it's not selfish. I want to not hate existing. I've already told you she's not against the idea of being a maternal figure. You're getting hostile at me for just knowing what I want and what's best for my mental health because it MIGHT hurt others. And that's a very big "might" as in zero chance.

There is a difference between being a maternal figure and being a caretaker for your partner who purposefully disabled themself. Also, part of why I'm hostile is because it would be one thing if this was only going to affect you, but expecting your girlfriend to have to take care of you for the rest of your life is just something else. It's selfish and no matter how hard you try to rationalize it. You are potentially going to traumatize her and ruin her life because of what you planning to do.

But whatever, there's no point in trying to convince you otherwise.

 

[AnHeroTransGirl]

There is a difference between being a maternal figure and being a caretaker for your partner who purposefully disabled themself. Also, part of why I'm hostile is because it would be one thing if this was only going to affect you, but expecting your girlfriend to have to take care of you for the rest of your life is just something else. It's selfish and no matter how hard you try to rationalize it. You are potentially going to traumatize her and ruin her life because of what you planning to do.

But whatever, there's no point in trying to convince you otherwise.

Nope there isn't because I know I'm not selfish like you want to make me seem.

 

[UKscotty]

You cannot become a child.

Making yourself disabled intentionally will definitely cause your partner to walk away, the novelty will wear off quickly. You will be stuck with life long injuries.

The whole concept of what you are asking here makes no sense.

 

[AnHeroTransGirl]

You cannot become a child.

Making yourself disabled intentionally will definitely cause your partner to walk away, the novelty will wear off quickly. You will be stuck with life long injuries.

The whole concept of what you are asking here makes no sense.

She loves me enough to care about me in the long run. As I said she's giving "safe" alternatives so clearly she won't be too hurt over it.

 

[boddibo]

People change their minds. People lie. People can't handle everything. You're asking for the impossible and you sound really selfish not even thinking that your partner can get hurt by this.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

I think you're in love with an idea of being disabled that doesn't exist. You're also putting too much faith that your girlfriend will stick around. People change their minds, there is no guarantee that she will stay once she sees the reality of taking care of a disabled person.

I took care of disabled elderly people and there was one I had to distance myself from because she was draining me. It's not fun being disabled nor will it solve your problems since you can never be a child again.

You're set on this idea and closed off to people's comments which have your best interest in mind, so I hope you don't succeed on this plan, for your own good, since I doubt you will listen to what I said. I hope you can find another way to deal with your struggles.

 

[リンさん]

She's offering safer alternatives precisely because she may not wanna care for a real disabled person her whole life. Just a thought.

 

[Abyssal]

Turning yourself into a child for your caregiver to be nsfw with you is wild. I think you should speak with her because I get the feeling you have different views on this situation.

 

[AnHeroTransGirl]

People change their minds. People lie. People can't handle everything. You're asking for the impossible and you sound really selfish not even thinking that your partner can get hurt by this.

How many times to I have to say this is for me not wanting to CTB and not for selfish reasons before people get the hint?

I think you're in love with an idea of being disabled that doesn't exist. You're also putting too much faith that your girlfriend will stick around. People change their minds, there is no guarantee that she will stay once she sees the reality of taking care of a disabled person.

I took care of disabled elderly people and there was one I had to distance myself from because she was draining me. It's not fun being disabled nor will it solve your problems since you can never be a child again.

You're set on this idea and closed off to people's comments which have your best interest in mind, so I hope you don't succeed on this plan, for your own good, since I doubt you will listen to what I said. I hope you can find another way to deal with your struggles.

I'm tired of people thinking they know better than I do. Isn't this sort of thing why this forum was created? Because normies didn't know what's actually good for us and started making suggestions otherwise and we were tired of it?

She's offering safer alternatives precisely because she may not wanna care for a real disabled person her whole life. Just a thought.

No, she told me she's scared of me hurting myself.

Turning yourself into a child for your caregiver to be nsfw with you is wild. I think you should speak with her because I get the feeling you have different views on this situation.

You didn't read anything I said because I literally said this endeavor isn't sexual. If I wanted to do this for fetish purposes I would've just done a roleplay for it and not a permanent thing.

 

[Sylveon]

I'm sure there's something out there that can permanently make me a child. There's literally someone on this site with a disability so bad that they type like they're having stroke yet I can't be a kid again? I'm not here for a lecture. I know what I'm doing and I know what I want.

No offense, but if you actually took the time to read their posts, you wouldn't be making this comment. :/

 

[AnHeroTransGirl]

No offense, but if you actually took the time to read their posts, you wouldn't be making this comment. :/

I mean if I know their typing style then clearly I have.

 

[boddibo]

No, she told me she's scared of me hurting myself.

Yeah. And that's what you're planning to do. Don't you see you're not making much sense? They don't want you to hurt yourself because they care, so becoming dependent on them because you'd be disable...? yeah, they don't want that either.

I mean if I know their typing style then clearly I have.

You know their typing, not their story. What's the link between this & the possibility of being a child mentally forever, lol? Those aren't even comparable?

 

[Anonymoususer1234]

I'm sure there's something out there that can permanently make me a child. There's literally someone on this site with a disability so bad that they type like they're having stroke yet I can't be a kid again? I'm not here for a lecture. I know what I'm doing and I know what I want.

As I said, you're welcome to make any choice you want. I can't convince you otherwise and I won't try to. I also understand that my response is not what you wanted to hear. But to me it really seems like you don't quite understand the implications/reality of being disabled. Forgive me but that's worrying.

There's lots of people who struggle with communication. There's lots of reasons people might "type like they're having a stroke". It could be that they lack the fine motor skills needed for typing, it could be that typing that way saves them energy, it could be that bright screens make it hard for them to focus or to type in a way that's ledgable to most people, it could be that they find translating their thoughts into words near impossible. Just because a person struggles to voice their thoughts doesn't mean that they're equivalent to a child.

Disabled people aren't eternal children. Disability advocates have been fighting to make people understand that for years.

 

[Dot]

I'm sure there's something out there that can permanently make me a child. There's literally someone on this site with a disability so bad that they type like they're having stroke yet I can't be a kid again? I'm not here for a lecture. I know what I'm doing and I know what I want.

Slf am typng hw am bcse of a v dp-seatd emotnl & neurologcl copng mechnsm frm trma whch ws re-triggrd & thn triggrd agn b/ hypnoss -- th/ othr usr also hs thr own trmas & lfe = horrfc fr bth slf & thm

Tht = v dffrnt t/ 'b-ing a chld' - altho childhd trma = prt of wht ws re-triggrd -- bt am goin2 b honst tht equ8tng th/ 2 = sersly lackng in senstvty

Am jst goin2 add tht slf hd a an amazng & lovng partnr b4 ths epsde & evnts hve takng thm & n.e futre wth thm awy

Only specfc trma - eithr new or re-triggrd - wll mke sme1 regrss emotnlly in2 b-ing a chld bt evn thn u prbbly wld nt b flly awre of wht = happnng

Slf cn only sggest eithr gttng sme profssnl hlp t/ xplore Y u r avoidng adult-hd t/ th/ xtent tht u r or try smethng lke chld-ply whch othr ppl hve dne bt slf cnnt gurntee tht ur partnr wll rspond postvly t/ tht dynamc

Spoiler: Child-ply

U d/ nt hve t/ b physclly dsabld in ordr t/ b depndnt on anothr persn & avd adlt lfe

 

[Dot]

She loves me enough to care about me in the long run. As I said she's giving "safe" alternatives so clearly she won't be too hurt over it.

Am goin2 add tht jst bcse sh/ lves u enuf t/ lk in2 safr altern8tvs ds nt mean tht th/ xpernce wll nt affct thm

 

[AnHeroTransGirl]

Yeah. And that's what you're planning to do. Don't you see you're not making much sense.


You know their typing, not their story. What's the link between this & the possibility of being a child mentally forever, lol? Those aren't even comparable?

It's proof that I can achieve the goal I have in mind

As I said, you're welcome to make any choice you want. I can't convince you otherwise and I won't try to. I also understand that my response is not what you wanted to hear. But to me it really seems like you don't quite understand the implications/reality of being disabled. Forgive me but that's worrying.

There's lots of people who struggle with communication. There's lots of reasons people might "type like they're having a stroke". It could be that they lack the fine motor skills needed for typing, it could be that typing that way saves them energy, it could be that bright screens make it hard for them to focus or to type in a way that's ledgable to most people, it could be that they find translating their thoughts into words near impossible. Just because a person struggles to voice their thoughts doesn't mean that they're equivalent to a child.

Disabled people aren't eternal children. Disability advocates have been fighting to make people understand that for years.

I'm autistic, I understand mental disorders because I have one. I understand the risks.

Slf am typng hw am bcse of a v dp-seatd emotnl & neurologcl copng mechnsm frm trma whch ws re-triggrd & thn triggrd agn b/ hypnoss -- th/ othr usr also hs thr own trmas & lfe = horrfc fr bth slf & thm

Tht = v dffrnt t/ 'b-ing a chld' - altho childhd trma = prt of wht ws re-triggrd -- bt am goin2 b honst tht equ8tng th/ 2 = sersly lackng in senstvty

Only specfc trma - eithr new or re-triggrd - wll mke sme1 regrss emotnlly in2 b-ing a chld bt evn thn u prbbly wld nt b flly awre of wht = happnng

Slf cn only sggest eithr gttng sme profssnl hlp t/ xplore Y u r avoidng adult-hd t/ th/ xtent tht u r or try smethng lke chld-ply whch othr ppl hve dne bt slf cnnt gurntee tht ur partnr wll rspond postvly t/ tht dynamc

Spoiler: Child-ply

U d/ nt hve t/ b physclly dsabld in ordr t/ b depndnt on anothr persn & avd adlt lfe

I don't exactly listen to Vice style deep dives. Especially since Vice isn't reliable so why would their clones be any different?