disableddoll

disableddoll

Member
Jul 2, 2019
24
I woke up at 4 AM this morning. Something jolted me awake, i sat up straight like in the movies.
I had this dream i was trying to speak (and i've had this dream before) but i was choked and suffocated by what seemed to be nothing. When i first had this dream I was petrified and cried for hours afterward. I was a child, afraid of being helpless.

But in this last dream I could not catch a single second of a breath and people offered to help me, but I refused them. It felt good to feel like I was dying. After waking up I had a panic attack that blacked me out. When I came to I discovered i had cut myself 50 times. I want death and it so close to me that honestly i think i'm afraid because there's nothing to hold me back anymore. I'm defenseless against my own brain.
Does anyone else have dream experiences like this that really just fuck you up or is it just me?
 
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Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,704
I'm sorry the dreams lead to panic attacks - it sounds like sleep apnea. Can you talk with a doctor about the incidents?
 
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P

pole

Global Mod
Sep 18, 2018
1,385
i often have dreams of me like falling, falling to my death, but never like being able to see myself actually dying. and its wierd, cause in general, its like i wanna die, im genuinly "falling" in life like just struggling with depression and sadness is the fall, but i just havent been able to fully take the last step to succumb to death because of some sort of little hope i have lingering inside me, which is like the thought of me actually dying still failing to resonate with me, which is why i just havent been able to get to that part in my dreams yet since i havent been able to get to that part in life as a whole.

im fricken wierd holy shit lmao
 
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disableddoll

disableddoll

Member
Jul 2, 2019
24
I'm sorry the dreams lead to panic attacks - it sounds like sleep apnea. Can you talk with a doctor about the incidents?
i guess i should huh i just don't want bring up the self harm
 
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Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,704
You don't have to bring that up, I hope? I'd want to have an explanation ready in case the doctor asked, but ... ?
 
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G

glk

Member
Jul 2, 2019
43
My dreams of death are quite the opposite. I don't feel any panic, and death itself feels more like a tender loving embrace. I wake up disappointed that it was just a dream.
 
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BridgeJumper

BridgeJumper

The Arsonist
Apr 7, 2019
1,194
My dreams are really fucked up. ive dreamt of jumping off bridges into freezing water, of my dad tying me up and throwing me under the train. of some man leading me to some barn where I saw the decaying corpse of my dog whom I loved (he died last year). Dreams of bleeding out through mouth, eyes and ears, my organs falling out, my teeth falling out. Recently some lucid dreaming / sleep paralysis shit where either I cant move or I leave my body or something. Its terrifying but I guess I got used to it after so may years down the rabbit hole of depression
 
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disableddoll

disableddoll

Member
Jul 2, 2019
24
My dreams are really fucked up. ive dreamt of jumping off bridges into freezing water, of my dad tying me up and throwing me under the train. of some man leading me to some barn where I saw the decaying corpse of my dog whom I loved (he died last year). Dreams of bleeding out through mouth, eyes and ears, my organs falling out, my teeth falling out. Recently some lucid dreaming / sleep paralysis shit where either I cant move or I leave my body or something. Its terrifying but I guess I got used to it after so may years down the rabbit hole of depression
I've had the one where your teeth fall out too and that really confused me it was smack like an anti tobacco ad. another time Idreamed everyone turned into zombies at my fifth grade birthday party and I was also there the age i am now and the zombies ripped my heart out. still confused
 
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