Don't want to die, but it's impossible to live

[qualityOV3Rquantity]

My chronic illness is just too painful and uncomfortable for me to live with. Near constant abdominal pressure, pain, intestinal spasms, stomachaches, gurgling in my abdomen, gas, it's fucking ridiculous. And I only have IBS, I can't imagine how anyone lives with Crohn's or ulcerative colitis. I want to live, I'm not even super depressed! I look outside and the world looks beautiful, I wish I could walk outside, run, go on dates, experience the beauty of the world, but instead I just sit inside, clutching my stomach, eating barely anything, living a cheap fucking parody of human existence. How is it possible to be this sick with no cure? I've tried diets, meditation, multiple medications, counseling, supplements, even hypnotherapy, but nothing has helped me more than lower my symptoms by like 10%. I don't want to die, but the possibility of living has been taken away from me.

 

[FuneralCry]

That really sounds so torturous, it's so cruel and dreadful to me how there's all this terrible suffering in existing. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[Unknown21]

Relatable, but i kinda accepted my fate.