Help Don't know if I'll make it

[PlasticFace]

In the past two hours, I've had over three seizures. I haven't had a seizure for years and I'm not sure what's bringing them on. I have brain damage from the drugs and failed CTB attempts as a kid and it was normal to have maybe one seizure every other week but this isn't normal. I won't send myself to the hospital and I can't reach out to friends because they're just going to send me to one anyway. My body is aching and a graft on my jaw has started to split. I don't know what's going on but this is so intense and so sudden. my muscles are starting to tense up and I can barely stand on my own. Ever since my gunshot, I've always had tremors in my neck but now my entire body is moving with them. I don't know if I should wait this out or make a call.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds really horrific what you have to go through, it really is so incredibly unfair how such torture exists in this world, but anyway I wish you the best in whatever happens going forward.

 

[Maríasp]

why don't you want medical help? is what you need

 

[Dubito]

Plz go to the hospital!

 

[Forever Sleep]

This sounds terrifying. I'm so sorry.

 

[HerculePoirot]

See a doctor. NOW.

 

[Huntfish34]

I'm sorry to hear all of this, I can't Even Fathom or imagine dealing with those things. Regardless, I understand if you don't want to make that call. All up to You obviously, ( even though I'd hope you do get help)

Thoughts and prayers to you in whatever may happen-

 

[PlasticFace]

Update: Around an hour after uploading this, I collapsed and my legs went numb. I called a friend to come over and bring me to the hospital because the pain was unbearable and I was starting to seize even more. I suffer from extreme agoraphobia and I have severe PTSD from hospitals which is why it was so hard for me to call for help. I had to get stitches and I have to come back in a month to see if I'll need any new grafts to strengthen the ones I have now. The full-body tremors are also expected to be a permanent thing from now on. They might die down but they'll never go away fully. This was the first time I'd been in the hospital in around six years. I only leave my house to go on the porch to pick up groceries or let my dog out. This has been a horrible day and now my friend has decided that he will come over every so often to check on me.

 

[Kurushii]

I'm sorry about everything that happened. It all sounds worse than any nightmare. I'm not fond of hospitals but I'm glad your friend brought you there, even if it was unpleasant. I really hope the tremors die down soon.

 

[Maríasp]

When you need to go, can't they medicate you before leaving home? your phobia is stronger than your pain? I'm so glad you're gone, get better, a hug!

 

[PlasticFace]

When you need to go, can't they medicate you before leaving home? your phobia is stronger than your pain? I'm so glad you're gone, get better, a hug!

I don't know if they have any programs in place for agoraphobia but I doubt it. People normally just call us lazy because they don't understand. I have blinds and blackout curtains on every window which are always shut. I've become so paranoid over the years of people seeing me that I get anxious when not wearing my face prosthetic in my own home. I grew up being treated like a monster and it, unfortunately, bled into my adult years. Many agoraphobic people have self-esteem issues that aren't treated or are ignored and it grows into agoraphobia. I knew it started to get bad when I couldn't go into a room that had an open window or take my trash to the curb. I'm half blind and deaf so I'm already restricted from driving but even if I had the option, I would be so terrified of people seeing me through my windows.

 

[Maríasp]

Sorry if my English isn't right, I use a translator, I'm Spanish. When you need to go to the emergency room or to the doctor, tell me about your phobia but don't stop going, it could be serious. make it win and work on your self-esteem and try to get out, in my town there are a couple of people with facial deformities or accidents and they go out, I see them and I admire them a lot, a big hug