J
jmv
New Member
- Mar 24, 2022
- 4
I am so broken. i don't know how to live with the suicide of my boyfriend. it feels like i'm such a burden because i am a shell of a human ever since he's been gone. i know my friends are tired of me talking about how much i miss him and they're not there for me as much as they used to be when he first passed. i know i'm annoying with how sad i am all the time. i feel so fucking useless i don't know how to live the rest of my life with how traumatizing losing him was. the pain is so fucking unbearable i miss him so fucking much and he was one of the few good things i had in my life. i am so crippled with guilt and anxiety and depression every fucking day on how i should have done more and regretting not spending more time with him. i don't want to do this anymore. it's been 7 months and it's the same if not worse.
i keep thinking about CTB but i don't want to hurt people the way i'm hurting now with having lost him. but i don't fucking know how to do this anymore. i don't know how to live without him or how it happened or how not to blame myself. i am so fucking dead inside and in so much pain i feel so alone. then i think no one would miss me anyways and i'd be doing everyone a favor. i'm so tired of feeling like this i don't want to exist anymore
i keep thinking about CTB but i don't want to hurt people the way i'm hurting now with having lost him. but i don't fucking know how to do this anymore. i don't know how to live without him or how it happened or how not to blame myself. i am so fucking dead inside and in so much pain i feel so alone. then i think no one would miss me anyways and i'd be doing everyone a favor. i'm so tired of feeling like this i don't want to exist anymore