Venting Don't care anymore, emotionally dead

[nuclearsnake]

I'm getting more and more certain that it's time for me to ctb soon and maybe that's making me emotionally dead

In the past two weeks my pet died, my computer broke and I've gotten into serious money trouble but all of this doesn't even bother me. I'm completely dead inside. It's odd because if that had happened one year ago I'd freaked. But now I simply do not care anymore.

Anyone else here a zombie now? I'm so numb and it should bother me but I can't even bring myself to care about that.

 

[anna]

I'm getting more and more certain that it's time for me to ctb soon and maybe that's making me emotionally dead

In the past two weeks my pet died, my computer broke and I've gotten into serious money trouble but all of this doesn't even bother me. I'm completely dead inside. It's odd because if that had happened one year ago I'd freaked. But now I simply do not care anymore.

Anyone else here a zombie now? I'm so numb and it should bother me but I can't even bring myself to care about that.

I feel the loss of your friend

 

[Smilla]

Zombie yes, just going through the motions until I CTB.

Am bothered by the mess I'm leaving and am actively trying to not leave a mess but my current state of affairs is so awful I'd rather just end it sooner vs later. Each passing day is another reminder that I am alive and don't want to be.

 

[Tiburcio]

Me. I feel like my emotions went away... It's hard to explain but I just feel dead inside, hopeless, completely lost.

 

[Living_Ghost]

Me. I feel like my emotions went away... It's hard to explain but I just feel dead inside, hopeless, completely lost.

Ever try some xtc ?

 

[Tiburcio]

Ever try some xtc ?

No, never.

 

[Living_Ghost]

No, never.

Should think about it .Could give you a breakthrough .

 

[Ssname]

Yes things happen that I know I should care about but I just don't care anymore.

 

[nuclearsnake]

I feel the loss of your friend

Thanks. It's odd how it doesn't even bother me. It's just nothing.

 

[Slacker]

Should think about it .Could give you a breakthrough .

Cant recommend that. For me those "I love everyone and want to hug the world"-Emotions kind of feel not real.
And Come Down can be horror. U could have 1 good night and u will pay with a week of depression for that.

+ addiction

But good if u want to fuck up your life even more

 

[Living_Ghost]

Well for a first time user the come down
is unlikely to even be bad . There is a chance it could dramatically change a users outlook on life such is the strength of the drug. Kind of like some kind of shock therapy. For someone who feels" dead ,hopeless completely lost ' it might be worth a try before they hang from a rope no ? Anyway I'm not picking on Tiburcio ,its just some thoughts I had about possible options to find some relief in life before checking out in despair.

 

[shadow11]

I'm getting more and more certain that it's time for me to ctb soon and maybe that's making me emotionally dead

In the past two weeks my pet died, my computer broke and I've gotten into serious money trouble but all of this doesn't even bother me. I'm completely dead inside. It's odd because if that had happened one year ago I'd freaked. But now I simply do not care anymore.

Anyone else here a zombie now? I'm so numb and it should bother me but I can't even bring myself to care about that.

I have nothing left I just want it to be over

 

[FadedMemory]

Yes, no matter what I do, I can't feel any emotions. I remember crying in my room all the way trough every summer holiday because I didn't have anyone to go out with, and now it's just..."Meh, what can you do." kind of thinking. The only emotion I still somehow feel is anger.

 

[No Future]

Cant recommend that. For me those "I love everyone and want to hug the world"-Emotions kind of feel not real.
And Come Down can be horror. U could have 1 good night and u will pay with a week of depression for that.

+ addiction

But good if u want to fuck up your life even more

A week comedown? A few hours at the very most. Much, much less if you get some vitamin C and a good meal. You're not getting addicted or ruining your life after one night either.

There's nothing wrong with it if you're sensible, hence why it's being used in clinical trials for all sorts of things, including PTSD (and 'curing' people that suffer from it in some cases).

Please don't demonize things you're not properly informed about, as was clear here. There's a time and a place for most things, including drugs.

 

[IWishYouAllGoodLuck]

A week comedown? A few hours at the very most! Much, much less if you get some vitamin C and a good meal. You're not getting addicted or ruining your life after one night either.

There's nothing wrong with it if you're sensible, hence why it's being used in clinical trials for all sorts of things, including PTSD. Telling people a hit of extacy is going to ruin their life isn't correct at all.

I guess everybodies different but for me the comedown was very long and for some people it seems they never quite recover, it realeses so much seretonin at once i doubt the body is quick to rebuild it especially that sugar already realeses it and not much is known on how to rebuild it other thab 5htp, I thought mdma might help me but it made things much worse and its no wonder drug. Plus I agree with Slacker it felt very fake and i was with my girlfriend at the time and cuddled and had all the great setting, plus getting real mdma is hardly possible especially looking at statistics.

 

[No Future]

I guess everybodies different but for me the comedown was very long and for some people it seems they never quite recover, it realeses so much seretonin at once i doubt the body is quick to rebuild it especially that sugar already realeses it and not much is known on how to rebuild it other thab 5htp, I thought mdma might help me but it made things much worse and its no wonder drug.

Mileage will vary from person to person, as it does with any and all substances. Treating a hangover isn't much different, and there's plenty of bad drunks.

Vitamin C, 5-HTP and eating tryptophan-heavy foods like bananas, tuna and eggs whilst being consistently hydrated will help bolster your serotonin. Antioxidants help too.

If you're poorly hydrated, sedentary and eat crap all the time, you'll have a 'comedown' without taking anything in the first place. There's no such thing as a miracle drug, either.

 

[Slacker]

A few hours at the very most....
You're not getting addicted ....
used in clinical trials for...

Please don't demonize things you're not properly informed about, as was clear here. There's a time and a place for most things, including drugs.

The duration of comedown depends on the psychic constitution of the person...
you cant know if someone gets addicted. Especially people with psychic problems get addicted to drugs
Yeah trials under observation of an paychotherapist and connected with a psychotherapy... but most scientists would disagree with u

Please dont generalizie things u know nothing about. You are not better then me. And what does "as was clear" mean? U dont know shit about me!

.... people who tell other people who have problems they should try neurotoxic streetdrugs to solve their problems .... well I wouldnt trust them

 

[IWishYouAllGoodLuck]

Mileage will vary from person to person, as it does with any and all substances. Treating a hangover isn't much different, and there's plenty of bad drunks.

Vitamin C, 5-HTP and eating tryptophan-heavy foods like bananas, tuna and eggs whilst being consistently hydrated will help bolster your serotonin. Antioxidants help too.

If you're poorly hydrated, sedentary and eat crap, you'll have a 'comedown' without taking anything in the first place.

Well its neurotoxic and shouldn't be compared to an alcohol hangover, plus if in your opinion it should only last a couple of hours then how is it possible to recover in just few hours when even with your knowledge you would need supplements and food and hydration. It should take at least a couple of days then, and its just a very invasive drug and shouldn't be glorified but i guess it helps some which is hard for me to believe as it was exactly what I believed before i fried myself with the glorified 3,4-Methylenedioxymethamphetamine which i was told by so many and the internet would help me and talked my exed into it and we both suffered greatly. To be honest when i looked at its pharmacology, it became very logical why it wouldn't help me to use an amphetamine at all to realease feel good neurotransmitter feel nice for bout 6-8 hours just to have less of them later and feel miserable with health consequences like taxing my adrenals and immune system. fun fact: it realeses a hormone which stops you from peeing and your supposed to stay hydrated so have fun holding your piss while loving the people around and even walls around you for no good reason telling yourself how its gonna be all good and well overheating just to later realise how stupid it all was and not being able to feel love or anything really for at least the next week. The scariest parts of recovery for me where seeing how much everyday after taking supplements and eating bananas the serotonin influneces our thinking, connections and all that juicy hope inducing stuff in my life, now i feel or understand how those connections where very much driven by that hormone and to be honest i lost a preety good share of that connection to people afterwards. It was advertisted to me as it might have helped me see my life or the world in a better light but it just made me really sad and i never fully recovered and seeing how many people abuse it and still go on to say how beneficial it is and say stuff like "the comedown you can overcome with your psyche alone" or that its only in your head ignoring that it literally squeezes your body out of a vital neurotransmitter and kills braincells. I wished i was ignorant and telling some dont do drugs propaganda but it just takes 10 minutes to see the pharmacology and studies on mice to see how dangerous it is, its sad how it was deemed safe by scientist saying: oh well the mice have missing parts of the brain but their cognitive behaviour doesn't seem to change. No history of human use, Not simmilar to any neurotransmitter and preety much flawed in any category its supposed to be good in just a bad drugpeople overall especially coupled with the chances of getting the real substance its just reckless to advertise to anybody.

 

[No Future]

The duration of comedown depends on the psychic constitution of the person...
you cant know if someone gets addicted. Especially people with psychoc problems get addicted to drugs
Yeah trials under observation of an paychotherapist and connected with a psychotherapy... but most scientists would disagree with u

Please dont generalizie things u know nothing about. You are not better then me. And what does "as was clear" mean? U dont know shit about me!

.... people who tell other people who have problems they should try neurotoxic streetdrugs to solve their problems .... well I wouldnt trust them.

so plz dont generalize

You applied broad strokes to a topic that is far less severe than you made it out to be. I was not the first to generalize here. Negative bias or not, your claims were disingenuous.

Compared to many other substances, extacy is less habit forming. Addiction is more likely to develop with regular use - it does not usually lead to physical dependency. Alcohol is regarded as being more addictive and harmful. I also never recommended anything.

Well its neurotoxic and shouldn't be compared to an alcohol hangover, plus if in your opinion it should only last a couple of hours then how is it possible to recover in just few hours when even with your knowledge you would need supplements and food and hydration. It should take at least a couple of days then, and its just a very invasive drug and shouldn't be glorified but i guess it helps some which is hard for me to believe as it was exactly what I believed before i fried myself with the glorified 3,4-Methylenedioxymethamphetamine which i was told by so many and the internet would help me and talked my exed into it and we both suffered greatly. To be honest when i looked at its pharmacology, it became very logical why it wouldn't help me to use an amphetamine at all to realease feel good neurotransmitter feel nice for bout 6-8 hours just to have less of them later and feel miserable with health consequences. fun fact: it realeses a hormone which stops you from peeing and your supposed to stay hydrated so have fun holding your piss while loving the people around and even walls around you for no good reason telling yourself how its gonna be all good and well overheating just to later realise how stupid it all was and not being able to feel love or anything really for at least the next week.

As I say, mileage varies. I'm sorry you had a bad experience. It's possible you may have had too much, judging by your love for walls whilst under the influence!

There is a multitude of proven ways to fend off aspects of the aftermath. The brain, in most cases, will be able to adjust itself back to normal after a number of hours, or a good night's sleep.

Do not take drugs to throw a blanket on internal turmoil - that's just common sense. Drugs are very rarely glorified in any capacity, and shouldn't replace professional treatment or therapy if that is what might be required.

 

[raskolnikov]

Yes, no matter what I do, I can't feel any emotions. I remember crying in my room all the way trough every summer holiday because I didn't have anyone to go out with, and now it's just..."Meh, what can you do." kind of thinking. The only emotion I still somehow feel is anger.

This. I rember myself as a teen looking out of the window in summer, how I wanted to just hang out with someone. Many young people were around here, they're all gone to better places, while I am still here imprisoned. It's amazing how years passed, and didn't brought anything good. My last hope died years ago.

 

[IWishYouAllGoodLuck]

You applied broad strokes to a topic that is far less severe than you made it out to be. I was not the first to generalize here. Negative bias or not, your claims were disingenuous.

Compared to many other substances, extacy is less habit forming. Addiction is more likely to develop with regular use - it does not usually lead to physical dependency. Alcohol is regarded as being more addictive and harmful. I also never recommended anything.



As I say, mileage varies. I'm sorry you had a bad experience. It's possible you may have had too much, judging by your love for walls whilst under the influence!

There is a multitude of proven ways to fend off aspects of the aftermath. The brain, in most cases, will be able to adjust itself back to normal after a number of hours, or a good night's sleep.

Do not take drugs to throw a blanket on internal turmoil - that's just common sense. Drugs are very rarely glorified in any capacity, and shouldn't replace professional treatment or therapy if that is what might be required.

How is the brain able to synthesize or adjust itself to a significant amount of a vital neurotransmitter after a good nights sleep which is gonna be hard to achieve since i believe you need seretonin for melatonin, or a couple of hours? What is up with that logic, so here it is after a good 4 hours of rapid heartbeat increased adrenaline and stress on the body like strain on the adrenals and bladder, your body trying to adjust its temperature while its being sucked of a transmitter needed to calm the nervous system causing death of many braincells, how do you think that a good nights sleep or a couple of hours would be enough to repair all that especially that there is not much known when it comes to the synthesis of serotonin which already might be quite low in many people from many causes that apply to many people like sugar consumption.

 

[ningaman151]

I'm getting more and more certain that it's time for me to ctb soon and maybe that's making me emotionally dead

In the past two weeks my pet died, my computer broke and I've gotten into serious money trouble but all of this doesn't even bother me. I'm completely dead inside. It's odd because if that had happened one year ago I'd freaked. But now I simply do not care anymore.

Anyone else here a zombie now? I'm so numb and it should bother me but I can't even bring myself to care about that.

Thats how I felt when I went into hospital.

 

[Living_Ghost]

I would still advise it to a person to try it if they are commited to suicide . Sure there can be bad effects for some ,but millions take it occasionally without problems.
It certainty has the capability to change a persons outlook for the better.

 

[IWishYouAllGoodLuck]

without problems lmao what is with the ignorance of the mdma advisors. I really thought that stressing your body and killing braincells while losing vital neurotransmitters would at least be a "problem" haha

I would still advise it to a person to try it if they are commited to suicide . Sure there can be bad effects for some ,but millions take it occasionally without problems.
It certainty has the capability to change a persons outlook for the better.

 

[Living_Ghost]

without problems lmao what is with the ignorance of the mdma advisors.

Seems like you are the ignoramus here.

 

[IWishYouAllGoodLuck]

Seems like you are the ignoramus here.

Well saying that millions of people do it without problems or bad effects seems ignorant. When its clearly proven to be harmfull to the body. plus those millions take reasearch chemicals but you mdma people seem to not understand how little real mdma there is out there.

 

[No Future]

How is the brain able to synthesize or adjust itself to a significant amount of a vital neurotransmitted after a good nights sleep which is gonna be hard to achieve since i believe you need seretonin for melatonin, or a couple of hours?

Please refer to my earlier post regarding nutritional supplements for serotonin. Water, isotonic drinks, juice, nuts, bananas, exercise, etc. are all helpful in supplementing your brain with what it has expelled. If you were serotonin deficient beforehand, that's another story.

People's guts absorb differently and we all have different metabolisms, so genetics play a part in it also. The volume of the substance ingested will also factor into how long you're coming down (obviously). It's fairly unusual to experience a comedown of the length you experienced.

Well saying that millions of people do it without problems or bad effects seems ignorant.

People drink all the time. Millions of people drink without issue, regularly, and it's often cited that alcohol is more harmful.

The proven harmful effects of booze never stopped, or even slowed anyone down in the process of getting mashed every weekend.

 

[Living_Ghost]

Fine . The fact is hundreds of millions of xtc tabs have been taken worldwide over last 30 years . Yes people have died and people have been damaged but let's not get carried away

 

[IWishYouAllGoodLuck]

Please refer to my earlier post regarding nutritional supplements for serotonin. Water, isotonic drinks, juice, nuts, bananas, exercise, etc. are all helpful in supplementing your brain with what it has expelled. If you were serotonin deficient beforehand, that's another story.

People's guts absorb differently and we all have different metabolisms, so genetics play a part in it also. The volume of the substance ingested will also factor into how long you're coming down (obviously). It's fairly unusual to experience a comedown of the length you experienced.



People drink all the time. Millions of people drink without issue, regularly, and it's often cited that alcohol is more harmful.

The proven harmful effects of booze never stopped, or even slowed anyone down in the process of getting mashed every weekend.

out of all the things you said the only thing that would help the brain synthesize the serotonin would be foods and exercise which again realeses serotnin while exercising a already taxed body, and stil you havent answered my question, which ends with you telling us that with a stressed out body with dying brain cells and lacking a lot of vital neurotransmitters somehow a good nights sleep or a couple of hours of eating bananas which we have not many proof that the 5htp in them would be even enough to counteract the sugar in the banans which realese serotonin would fix that completely. Hmm... so would clinical depression from serotonin deficiency be cured with a good nights sleep and a couple of hours of eating bananas?

 

[No Future]

I cannot justify or explain your personal experiences during/after using what sounds like a very strong dose. I'm not responsible for it, and you've ignored a lot of what I've said to suit your pre-established bias.

I'm referring to research, studies and personal experience. One-off use is not harmful long-term in the vast majority of cases. That's it. There's a great deal of resources available, and I'd be more than happy to provide some if it's a topic that still interests you.

Putting words in my mouth in regards to clinical depression is also a bit silly, so I'm calling it quits for me.

Edit: I deleted posts following this one, as they weren't constructive or worthwhile.