TheGoodGuy
Visionary
- Aug 27, 2018
- 2,996
My biggest problem is that I don´t want to ruin my parents life, I am sure that the suicide of a parents child must be one of the biggest pains ever. I have seen a lot of documentaries about suicide and the life of ones love ones will always have that pain inside of them by a child, parents, life partner´s suicide they just learn to live with the pain over the years.
So any tips to get rid of these thoughts? I really want to die but I don´t want to ruin my parents life, they gave me the best childhood in the world and they have always been there for me, even now when I got kicked out of school and am in the process of getting welfare they have given me some food and over 100$ so I can buy something to eat. They don´t know I am suicidal because I said I am just want to know if I have a mental illness so I hope I can talk to a psychiatrist.
It seems now the only thing holding me back from ctb is that I keep thinking about my parents especially the picture of my mother crying at her own mother´s funeral keeps repeating in my head when I want to kms and how could I bring that pain upon both my parents? So anyone have the same problem or used to but got rid of these thought by rationalizing e.g. we never asked to be born so we should have the choice to exit life.
So any tips to get rid of these thoughts? I really want to die but I don´t want to ruin my parents life, they gave me the best childhood in the world and they have always been there for me, even now when I got kicked out of school and am in the process of getting welfare they have given me some food and over 100$ so I can buy something to eat. They don´t know I am suicidal because I said I am just want to know if I have a mental illness so I hope I can talk to a psychiatrist.
It seems now the only thing holding me back from ctb is that I keep thinking about my parents especially the picture of my mother crying at her own mother´s funeral keeps repeating in my head when I want to kms and how could I bring that pain upon both my parents? So anyone have the same problem or used to but got rid of these thought by rationalizing e.g. we never asked to be born so we should have the choice to exit life.