Discussion Does thinking about death calm you down?

[Sadbanana]

I'm asking, because it does for me. Ofc there is still fear especially when I'm about to commit, but just thinking about dying right now feels so peaceful. It's this strange pleasant feeling as if I were very tired and was about to fall asleep. The idea of everything suddenly ending is so freeing. All the struggles, plans, opinions, relationships I have would just wanish into thin air.

 

[SHpr0]

yes. I feel better when im planning/thinking about suicide

 

[DeniedPeace]

It definitely does for me.
Which paradoxically I wish it didn't, because in a sense it stops me from going through with CTB.
But thinking about suicide is pretty much the only thought I can bear with.

 

[indianachrome]

yes it is very calming for some reason....

 

[Macedonian1987]

Yes it's very calming knowing that I will be able to skip the phase of my life in which I'm old, frail, sick and in pain barely moving. I never want to live thru the sad reality of reaching a very old age.

 

[Sadbanana]

yes it is very calming for some reason....

It's strange, right? I don't think it has anything to do with me being sucidal or having a bad life. Death is just naturally blissful.

 

[CaptainSunshine!]

The thought of death excites me, but maybe that can be considered calming? Even when I'm close to taking my life I feel jolly, though of course I am still scared lol.

 

[FuneralCry]

For me ceasing to exist is just the only relief in this existence so torturous and cruel that I just always saw as a mistake but I'll just only be at peace once I'm no longer burdened with this existence, for me non-existence is just all that's positive.

I'd never wish for this existence that just causes and brings so much suffering and pain all for the sake of it with no limit as to how much one can be tortured, I just want to be unconscious for all eternity, I just want all to be gone and forgotten for me with no more pain and no more suffering, I suffer simply from being burdened with this deeply undesirable, cruel existence.

 

[ih34rty0u]

i often fantasize about it but the second i get close to actually doing it, i feel terrified by the process of dying

 

[GettingGone]

Having a suicide plan is a way for me to feel safe... It's the idea of having an answer that calms me. When I get in a phase of "Hey, maybe I don't need to kill myself", there's a terrifying idea tied to that with a complete lack of control. The concept of death and suicide grounds me.

 

[beelee]

Yes. It's the only thing I think about. I pray not to wake up every night. Here I am.

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

Absolutely. But not just death, the process of it. I've only really wished to go to sleep and not wake up at my worst moments. Usually I daydream about actually killing myself.

 

[Marbas]

Definitely. Thinking about how I won't have to deal with any of this anymore once I'm gone definitely brings a sense of peace.

 

[peewee]

its the only thing that calms me now it stops my heart racing when i realise i dont have to experience this for much longer

 

[i like apple juice!]

yeah, i used to be so stressed about all of the stuff in my life i should keep up with and everything that i wasn't doing, but now that suicide is finally settling in my mind i don't have to worry about any of it. a couple weeks ago or so i had this break where the idea of "if i die i never have to hurt again" clicked in a way it never did before for me. i know it's a common suicide-related thought and i had thought it many times before, but something was different this time. i stared at the ceiling laughing to myself for maybe an hour. had i finally given up? i hadn't felt so completely unburdened in such a long time. i just kept repeating, "i can still save myself."