Does my choice to ctb make me weak?

[SuicidalSymphonies]

Been really questioning this... Got into a few arguments with my mother who has called me weak for wanting to ctb and says I don't even try to get better, which I do and have been trying for at least 15 years. She is also a mental sufferer but it seems she really doesn't understand my heavy desire to escape this hell... Yes, I know she is my mother and it's her job to worry and care about me, but calling me weak and saying I give up too easily just drags me down into a deeper, darker abyss... How does this make me weak? I want to know..

 

[Moon Flower]

I think having the mental fortitude to go against your very hard wiring, overcome your survival instinct, overcome the stigma associated and do what's best for you requires a certain strength, but a lot of people wouldn't see it that way because they think death is the worst fate a human can meet. It comes for us all, and there's no shame at all in taking it into your own hands. We all have to have our own bodily autonomy, it's what makes us human.

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

I think having the mental fortitude to go against your very hard wiring, overcome your survival instinct, overcome the stigma associated and do what's best for you requires a certain strength, but a lot of people wouldn't see it that way because they think death is the worst fate a human can meet. It comes for us all, and there's no shame at all in taking it into your own hands. We all have to have our own bodily autonomy, it's what makes us human.

Thank you so much.... Isn't your photo from a game called Yume Nikki?

 

[Moon Flower]

Thank you so much.... Isn't your photo from a game called Yume Nikki?

It is indeed! Such a good game, a personal favorite of mine

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

It is indeed! Such a good game, a personal favorite of mine

Yet to play but recognize the character.

 

[Moon Flower]

Yet to play but recognize the character.

You should try it out, it's all about exploring the mind of a shut in girl prior to her ctb

 

[SerenitySeeker]

You most certainly aren't weak. Loved ones use that argument of being "weak" as a last resort measure to keep us going because it's been so ingrained in the human psyche to be strong, keep going, and to push through adversity. It's said from a place of love and most of all desperation but it simply isn't true. Whatever you decide for yourself isn't weak.

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

You most certainly aren't weak. Loved ones use that argument of being "weak" as a last resort measure to keep us going because it's been so ingrained in the human psyche to be strong, keep going, and to push through adversity. It's said from a place of love and most of all desperation but it simply isn't true. Whatever you decide for yourself isn't weak.

Thank you so much... x this means a lot.

 

[MeltingHeart]

Been really questioning this... Got into a few arguments with my mother who has called me weak for wanting to ctb and says I don't even try to get better, which I do and have been trying for at least 15 years. She is also a mental sufferer but it seems she really doesn't understand my heavy desire to escape this hell... Yes, I know she is my mother and it's her job to worry and care about me, but calling me weak and saying I give up too easily just drags me down into a deeper, darker abyss... How does this make me weak? I want to know..

strikes me thats the worst thing to say to someone-talk about kick u when yr down! not cool

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

strikes me thats the worst thing to say to someone-talk about kick u when yr down! not cool

Yeah, just makes me want to go more.

 

[CursedForDisaster]

I honestly don't know if it's the weakest choice or strongest but I don't see where that matters. I've already come to terms that I am mentally weak as it is and don't see that changing

 

[Darkhaven]

Given the courage that it takes to ctb i'd say only the strongest of human beings can do it.
No, i don't think suicidal people are weak.
We are playing a "game" that doesn't give us the same arguments as the rest of the population and that makes it very unfair.
By ctb we are putting an end to the injustices of said "game".

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

I honestly don't know if it's the weakest choice or strongest but I don't see where that matters. I've already come to terms that I am mentally weak as it is and don't see that changing

I just know I have no more strength to fight. Hugs...x

Given the courage that it takes to ctb i'd say only the strongest of human beings can do it.
No, i don't think suicidal people are weak.
We are playing a "game" that doesn't give us the same arguments as the rest of the population and that makes it very unfair.
By ctb we are putting an end to the injustices of said "game".

Thank you.. I just don't see it fair to force anybody to keep suffering for your own personal reasons..

 

[Haku]

I do not know what other people think, but in my opinion, no, it does not make you weak, it makes you human. You were dealt a bad hand in your life, and you tried all you could to make it right, but unfortunately, luck was not in your favor, so you chose the only way you knew you had left to escape your hell, and to take your own life is not an easy feat. So the way I see it is, your not weak for wanting to die, you are actually very brave and courageous to chose this path, some that try, and back out in the end, not because of an idea that they still want to live, but of the idea that something could go wrong in the method, and their is nothing wrong with that, I consider those that back out brave as well, because they at least considered it. And I hope that doesnt come off as me promoting suicide, because that is not what I'm trying to do, If I feel like someone has an opportunity to make their life better without taking their life, I prefer they go that route, but if suicide is the only option for them, and that is what they want, then they should go that route. Point is, you are not weak. Much love to you

 

[c824767]

I feel weak because I have not done it yet. Just found a death cap in the woods...

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

I do not know what other people think, but in my opinion, no, it does not make you weak, it makes you human. You were dealt a bad hand in your life, and you tried all you could to make it right, but unfortunately, luck was not in your favor, so you chose the only way you knew you had left to escape your hell, and to take your own life is not an easy feat. So the way I see it is, your not weak for wanting to die, you are actually very brave and courageous to chose this path, some that try, and back out in the end, not because of an idea that they still want to live, but of the idea that something could go wrong in the method, and their is nothing wrong with that, I consider those that back out brave as well, because they at least considered it. And I hope that doesnt come off as me promoting suicide, because that is not what I'm trying to do, If I feel like someone has an opportunity to make their life better without taking their life, I prefer they go that route, but if suicide is the only option for them, and that is what they want, then they should go that route. Point is, you are not weak. Much love to you

Wonderful words, Haku. You always make me feel better about my bad thoughts. Thank you for always being supoortive.

I feel weak because I have not done it yet. Just found a death cap in the woods...

You are not weak for not making the choice... You are human.

 

[Sweet emotion]

I'm going to tell you what I think. I think you're stong as hell for being able to give yourself the choice to make the decision to CTB on your own terms. I know what it's like to have had enough and you just don't want to feel anymore. Emotionally and physically. I'm sorry your mother called you weak. That wasn't right. Especially since she has had mental issues herself you'd think she'd be more compassionate and sensitive towards your feelings. We on this group are all strong because we aren't letting life rule us. We are taking the bull by the horns and are making the change that we need.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Been really questioning this... Got into a few arguments with my mother who has called me weak for wanting to ctb and says I don't even try to get better, which I do and have been trying for at least 15 years. She is also a mental sufferer but it seems she really doesn't understand my heavy desire to escape this hell... Yes, I know she is my mother and it's her job to worry and care about me, but calling me weak and saying I give up too easily just drags me down into a deeper, darker abyss... How does this make me weak? I want to know..

I don't think it makes you weak. I think it takes courage to end it. Courage that I have not found … yet.
If someone has the strength ... why stay here and suffer ?

P.S. I love your Mark Twain quote.

I just know I have no more strength to fight. Hugs...x


Thank you.. I just don't see it fair to force anybody to keep suffering for your own personal reasons..

I feel the same ... I have no more strength to fight. I'm not sure what I would be fighting for. To live a shitty existence day after day.

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

I don't think it makes you weak. I think it takes courage to end it. Courage that I have not found … yet.
If someone has the strength ... why stay here and suffer ?

P.S. I love your Mark Twain quote.


I feel the same ... I have no more strength to fight. I'm not sure what I would be fighting for. To live a shitty existence day after day.

Thank you so much! And thanks, that quote helps me very day I approach my date..x

 

[Eurus]

It's a simple No your not weak from me

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

It's a simple No your not weak from me

Thank you, Eurus. You're always so kind.

 

[drake4871]

I don't think you're weak, SI might literally be the hardest thing to overcome... whole bodies trying to keep us alive. Regardless, the fact you have to make this decision means your strong, because of all the shit you've been through to get to this point. Wish you the best OP

 

[Heart of Ice]

Living with pain takes much more courage than suicide. We may all be weak, but it's okay. None of us chose our lives.

 

[LastFlowers]

Everyone has a breaking point. Recognizing yours does not make you weak. And killing oneself is no joke, it is daunting.

 

[Shakespear's Brother]

There is no prize for suffering through life.

 

[Nem]

There is no prize for suffering through life.

Yes, you cannot put it on a resume either.
Peace/hugs
Ending your life is probably the toughest thing to do, I could never think of it as weak
Peace/hugs

 

[Avery Jordan]

Been really questioning this... Got into a few arguments with my mother who has called me weak for wanting to ctb and says I don't even try to get better, which I do and have been trying for at least 15 years. She is also a mental sufferer but it seems she really doesn't understand my heavy desire to escape this hell... Yes, I know she is my mother and it's her job to worry and care about me, but calling me weak and saying I give up too easily just drags me down into a deeper, darker abyss... How does this make me weak? I want to know..

Depends on what's been given to you and what you've done with it.

 

[N3UR0T1C]

It most definitely doesn't make you weak. It's very hard to overcome SI.

 

[Chronic pain]

You are not weak, you would be if you had not fought. But when there is no turning back and you are not living, if life becomes suffering, it is not worth living. Be happy because you tried, the world is unfair, but no human being should be forced to live a continuous hell.