Does it help you to know that any angst you might be feeling regarding ctb will end afterward?

[Weebster]

It doesn't help me lol

 

[FuneralCry]

I think at this point, the only thing that would help me would be having a way to leave this world peacefully without having to deal with the fear of failure. I guess it is a comforting thought that all life is so temporary and meaningless, the suffering will end one day no matter what, but this thought does not bring me that much relief, as I could be suffering for decades if I do not ctb. More than anything I wish that it was easier to leave this world.