Just wondering if the thoughts go? How often do people feel it?
LogicalConclusion
Experienced
- Jun 2, 2019
- 239
I have suicidal thinking constantly. Some part of brain allocated i guess.
Rocksandsand
Specialist
- May 26, 2019
- 396
If I am well and truly engrossed in an activity (a uni exam, for example) then in that moment I am not suicidal. I am not anything -I am just so focussed that my emotions aren't even present. But that level of attention on something is quite rare in the scheme of things, so functionally, I am always suicidal.
DreamCatcher
Still searching
- Jun 18, 2019
- 221
Pretty much on an hourly basis the thought that I don't want to exist creeps in. For the last 20 years or so.
I haven't acted on it recently because I know my previous attempts failed because I didn't have a good method in place. Now I have a few good methods that I'm afraid to act on. The thoughts haven't gone away.
I haven't acted on it recently because I know my previous attempts failed because I didn't have a good method in place. Now I have a few good methods that I'm afraid to act on. The thoughts haven't gone away.
bath salts
| goodnight |
- Jul 19, 2019
- 93
Every day I consider at least several times. How I deal with this is to do as many things at once, so that I don't have the mental capacity to spiral into that hole. Ex: watching youtube while playing video games and talking to online friends, or drawing while listening to music and reading. Works for me.
restingspot
Lucid Dreamer
- May 30, 2019
- 224
Pilum Muralis
“We'll never be as young as we are tonight.”
- Jul 2, 2019
- 187
I have them maybe once or maybe twice a day, and it's usually just in passing. It's when I think of our financial situation, and how much better my husband off he would be if I were gone. I have most of my desperate thoughts during really bad pain spells. Maybe it's because I have my plan laid out and ready that I have peace of mind, that my thoughts about CTB are not constant? I don't know. My anxiety kind of keeps me in check too, as I hate having those attacks, and really try not to. So I avoid triggers and try to keep my mind busy. Reading, playing video games. I love painting gaming miniatures and would like to get back into that.
When I'm not thinking about my illness - which is rare because it's so obvious - I'm not generally suicidal. I really do appreciate those few moments.
As everyone says it depends on who and why. Despite the tendency some people have to believe everything in existence is shite and the whole world should be erased, lots of people are happy. Lots of people who suffer horrible things and recover are happy. You can't know if that can be you until you try...and everyone has a limit to how much they can endure. It doesn't always get better...it doesn't always get worse. It's a completely unhelpful answer I know...and sorry for that.
