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wildflowers1996

wildflowers1996

Specialist
Oct 14, 2023
368
I know not everyone believes in God, but to those who do

Why doesn't God help? :'(

I feel so hated. I know things could always be worse, but I still feel hated. I hate that I can't talk to God and be given an explanation.

Why would He make me so ugly, miserable, unlovable, useless?

I'm convinced it must be because I am a bad person. I don't know what's true though.
 
J

Jorms_McGander

Arcanist
Oct 17, 2023
431
I wish I could answer other than to say I don't think you are a bad person, ugly, unlovable, or useless. I'm miserable too, so I get that.

Do you think that's how God looks at you? God loves everything. God loves mosquitoes. Surely you're not as bad as a mosquito.

PS: full disclosure I am not a member of any congregation now, relying kinda on memory, and I am atheist but I have religious practices and I believe in their psychological benefit. I suppose I might be considered agnostic because there's room in my world for religious people and I understand that even if I don't feel it the same way. But I wanted to not feel dishonest about spirituality in this conversation as I am using the term God with a G.
 
M

Mi Mi

No One Special
Mar 18, 2024
173
I know not everyone believes in God, but to those who do

Why doesn't God help? :'(

I feel so hated. I know things could always be worse, but I still feel hated. I hate that I can't talk to God and be given an explanation.

Why would He make me so ugly, miserable, unlovable, useless?

I'm convinced it must be because I am a bad person. I don't know what's true though.
I thought many of these things
I often still do
Right now I'm just being honest with him
I often talk outloud to him
All the thoughts in my head I say to him outloud
I'm hoping when I die I'll get a better understanding
The most important thing I can say is your not a bad person
It's not you
Just unfortunate issues
But you are everything šŸ’œ
 
derpyderpins

derpyderpins

Misery Minimization Activist
Sep 19, 2023
571
I know not everyone believes in God, but to those who do

Why doesn't God help? :'(

I feel so hated. I know things could always be worse, but I still feel hated. I hate that I can't talk to God and be given an explanation.

Why would He make me so ugly, miserable, unlovable, useless?

I'm convinced it must be because I am a bad person. I don't know what's true though.

Assuming from the outset that God is real, and I'm going to also assume a somewhat Judeo-Christian version of God, then I'd chalk it up to:
  1. True freedom in this life requires interference be kept to a minimum, so he is very hands-off; and
  2. If the afterlife is infinite, then the time in this life is so miniscule in comparison that any pain is negligible compared to the pain of hell or the joy of heaven.
You being a bad person doesn't seem like a reason to punish you, because there are plenty of really bad people who never get punished.

Alternative theory: God is just kinda a dick.
 
figcitylightscookie

figcitylightscookie

sad, lonely & desperate
Nov 21, 2023
28
God doesn't hate anyone, so he definitely doesn't hate you either.

The way I was taught about life (through religion studies) is it's basically a card game, and you have to work with whatever cards you're dealt. Is it fair? No, but it is what it is.

I usually don't like using personal anecdotes, but I think it's necessary here to explain my point. I also believe that I'm ugly. Why? Because I'm morbidly obese and look frumpy, I don't have clear skin, and I have too much body/facial hair than I'd like as a woman. This is a result of having PCOS; it's not fair that I have this problem while other women don't, but this is one of the cards I was dealt, and I have to deal with it. Although I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was 16, I ignored this "card" for many years, which resulted to my current state. I now have the choice to play this card differently (as in, take better care of myself) or keep playing it as I have been the past few years. Basically, I have free will, and although I can't pick my cards, I can choose how to play them.

If it makes you feel better, everyone is dealt bad/unfair cards, they're just bad/unfair in their own unique way. Someone might look attractive but have a chronic illness, or someone might be really ugly but also charming and lovable.

At judgement day, God will judge you for how you played your cards, but that's a whole other story. This specifically depends on what religion you follow and what you believe is a good or a bad way to play your cards.

So now we go back to you. What are the cards you were dealt? And how are you going to play them? You say you're ugly, but why do you think so? Is there anything you can do about it? Do you want to do anything about it? These are all questions you have to answer, and it's up to you how you want to proceed in your life moving forward.
 
divinemistress36

divinemistress36

Enlightened
Jan 1, 2024
1,843
Assuming from the outset that God is real, and I'm going to also assume a somewhat Judeo-Christian version of God, then I'd chalk it up to:
  1. True freedom in this life requires interference be kept to a minimum, so he is very hands-off; and
  2. If the afterlife is infinite, then the time in this life is so miniscule in comparison that any pain is negligible compared to the pain of hell or the joy of heaven.
You being a bad person doesn't seem like a reason to punish you, because there are plenty of really bad people who never get punished.

Alternative theory: God is just kinda a dick.
Well said!
 
goodoldnoname923

goodoldnoname923

Wanting to find peace
Mar 28, 2024
514
I know not everyone believes in God, but to those who do

Why doesn't God help? :'(

I feel so hated. I know things could always be worse, but I still feel hated. I hate that I can't talk to God and be given an explanation.

Why would He make me so ugly, miserable, unlovable, useless?

I'm convinced it must be because I am a bad person. I don't know what's true though.
You don't come across as a bad person to me personally

And I'm not religious myself personally but i feel the same way,so much has gone wrong with preparing or with my recent suicide attempts that something up there is stopping me and idk why

I don't personally know you but i far from hate you so don't think that just know if you want to talk I'm here ok?
 
A

axab43

Member
Mar 10, 2024
45
I know not everyone believes in God, but to those who do

Why doesn't God help? :'(

I feel so hated. I know things could always be worse, but I still feel hated. I hate that I can't talk to God and be given an explanation.

Why would He make me so ugly, miserable, unlovable, useless?

I'm convinced it must be because I am a bad person. I don't know what's true though.
I do believe in God and agree with someone who wrote above. This world is messed up and everything is not as God would have it here, otherwise He would have to take over complete control permanently. What is to come is going to far outweigh our short time here but I get what you are saying completely. Depression/poor self image/self loathing can make this life seem like torture. You are not unlovable, useless or probably ugly for that matter either! (Any woman who is deemed "ugly" by some might look completely different with different hair style/clothes/attitude. It is a shifting variable.)

You are also not here to please anyone else but God (if you believe in God, which you seem to) so try and take care of what you have, do the best with what you have and relax. It is very hard to do but it is better than self torture of berating yourself all the time.
 
Raindancer

Raindancer

Experienced
Nov 4, 2023
279
I know not everyone believes in God, but to those who do

Why doesn't God help? :'(

I feel so hated. I know things could always be worse, but I still feel hated. I hate that I can't talk to God and be given an explanation.

Why would He make me so ugly, miserable, unlovable, useless?

I'm convinced it must be because I am a bad person. I don't know what's true though.
It would be so great if we could speak with God about why we face the things we do. First though, as everyone has already said, God does not hate you. You are beautiful, please believe that. What this world holds up as beauty is so shallow. You are absolutely loveable and not useless in any way. Those feelings are valid and He does hear you. Many have said it so better than I could the freedom and how infinite eternity will be. Just know He hears you and psalm 56:8 "You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book." A king named David wrote this during one of his darkest times.
 
M

mtoro998

Experienced
Feb 29, 2024
258
If god is real then he must hate us all because he allows the world to be like this for us to live in. Or maybe satan killed him or locked him up in a Cage or something and thats why he doesnt do anything who knows.
 
A

axab43

Member
Mar 10, 2024
45
It would be so great if we could speak with God about why we face the things we do. First though, as everyone has already said, God does not hate you. You are beautiful, please believe that. What this world holds up as beauty is so shallow. You are absolutely loveable and not useless in any way. Those feelings are valid and He does hear you. Many have said it so better than I could the freedom and how infinite eternity will be. Just know He hears you and psalm 56:8 "You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book." A king named David wrote this during one of his darkest times.
Thank you for your reply. One of my issues that has me feeling suicidal is severe insomnia. Awake again at 1.45am with no sign of sleep. Your comment helped me a little I hope it helps wildflowers 1996
 
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BlazingBob

BlazingBob

I'm still here b/c of my dogs
Oct 28, 2021
554
Thank you for your reply. One of my issues that has me feeling suicidal is severe insomnia. Awake again at 1.45am with no sign of sleep. Your comment helped me a little I hope it helps wildflowers 1996
I have several neurological conditions that make sleep damn near impossible. In the last ten years at least 1,000 or more nights have been sleepless. I get 3 to 4 hours of fragmented, non refreshing sleep a night if I'm lucky, and it's killing me. I've been on countless medications and over the counter drugs. My Drs say we've reached the end of the line and I'm just going to have to live with it. Insomnia and sleep problems are my number one reason for ctb. It's horrible not being able to sleep. It's torture.
 
Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

Your best friend šŸ«‚
Apr 17, 2023
2,914
I know not everyone believes in God, but to those who do

Why doesn't God help? :'(

I feel so hated. I know things could always be worse, but I still feel hated. I hate that I can't talk to God and be given an explanation.

Why would He make me so ugly, miserable, unlovable, useless?

I'm convinced it must be because I am a bad person. I don't know what's true though.
The book of job is evidence that God is evil.
I have several neurological conditions that make sleep damn near impossible. In the last ten years at least 1,000 or more nights have been sleepless. I get 3 to 4 hours of fragmented, non refreshing sleep a night if I'm lucky, and it's killing me. I've been on countless medications and over the counter drugs. My Drs say we've reached the end of the line and I'm just going to have to live with it. Insomnia and sleep problems are my number one reason for ctb. It's horrible not being able to sleep. It's torture.
How high is your heart rate? Mine is high as a result of sleep deprivation.
 
A

axab43

Member
Mar 10, 2024
45
I have several neurological conditions that make sleep damn near impossible. In the last ten years at least 1,000 or more nights have been sleepless. I get 3 to 4 hours of fragmented, non refreshing sleep a night if I'm lucky, and it's killing me. I've been on countless medications and over the counter drugs. My Drs say we've reached the end of the line and I'm just going to have to live with it. Insomnia and sleep problems are my number one reason for ctb. It's horrible not being able to sleep. It's torture.
I'm so sorry you are going through that and know exactly how you feel. I think I've slept about two or three hours tonight, and now awake and know that will be it tonight. It is horrible. My doctors have actually said the same thing to me now, that they have ran out of ideas and can't do any more. Would they say that to someone with any other persistent illness?


Have you tried sleep therapists? They are supposed to be able to help cure insomnia, but if you have neurological conditions, it may interfere with what they say. Insomnia started for me when my brother died of Covid four years ago. Was ok before that.
 
H

hopeless08

Arcanist
Dec 8, 2023
481
I know not everyone believes in God, but to those who do

Why doesn't God help? :'(

I feel so hated. I know things could always be worse, but I still feel hated. I hate that I can't talk to God and be given an explanation.

Why would He make me so ugly, miserable, unlovable, useless?

I'm convinced it must be because I am a bad person. I don't know what's true though.
I have the same exact thoughts. I don't know if I believe in god and because I say to myself how can god make me suffer agonizing pain and believe me, I did used to pray to him a lot, well not actually written prayers, it's was just speaking to him and begging, I mean begging and crying pleading with him to take my pains away. I would say I'm sorry for anything bad I've ever done but my prayers went unanswered, so I'm constantly asking myself why? How could god which is suppose to be loving and forgiving put us through hell. The only answer I can come up with is that god hates me. So you're not alone I feel exactly the same way.
I'll never understand. I'm sorry for your pain
Assuming from the outset that God is real, and I'm going to also assume a somewhat Judeo-Christian version of God, then I'd chalk it up to:
  1. True freedom in this life requires interference be kept to a minimum, so he is very hands-off; and
  2. If the afterlife is infinite, then the time in this life is so miniscule in comparison that any pain is negligible compared to the pain of hell or the joy of heaven.
You being a bad person doesn't seem like a reason to punish you, because there are plenty of really bad people who never get punished.

Alternative theory: God is just kinda a dick.
I'm so sorry you are going through that and know exactly how you feel. I think I've slept about two or three hours tonight, and now awake and know that will be it tonight. It is horrible. My doctors have actually said the same thing to me now, that they have ran out of ideas and can't do any more. Would they say that to someone with any other persistent illness?


Have you tried sleep therapists? They are supposed to be able to help cure insomnia, but if you have neurological conditions, it may interfere with what they say. Insomnia started for me when my brother died of Covid four years ago. Was ok before that.
I'm so so sorry for your loss. Is your insomnia any better? If not they say maybe hypnosis can hep, perhaps you could give it a try. All the best
 
Last edited:
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A

axab43

Member
Mar 10, 2024
45
I have the same exact thoughts. I don't know if I believe in god and because I say to myself how can god make me suffer agonizing pain and believe me, I did used to pray to him a lot, well not actually written prayers, it's was just speaking to him and begging, I mean begging and crying pleading with him to take my pains away. I would say I'm sorry for anything bad I've ever done but my prayers went unanswered, so I'm constantly asking myself why? How could god which is suppose to be loving and forgiving put us through hell. The only answer I can come up with is that god hates me. So you're not alone I feel exactly the same way.
I'll never understand. I'm sorry for your pain


I'm so so sorry for your loss. Is your insomnia any better? If not they say maybe hypnosis can hep, perhaps you could give it a try. All the best
Hi hopeless08 ...Thank you for what you said about the loss of my brother. It did severely impact my life. The insomnia isnt any better, I seem to sleep only for an hour or two and then wake up. Not sure about hypnosis. Will have to give that some thought, thanks.
 
Darkover

Darkover

Illuminated
Jul 29, 2021
3,828
if there was a god you would be too small or unimportant to be worth consideration to him as an ant is to you
 
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J

J&L383

Experienced
Jul 18, 2023
291
Assuming from the outset that God is real . . . .

Alternative theory: God is just kinda a dick.
That's a big assumption from the outset.

As for the alternative theory, I wouldn't qualify that with "kinda". I would use a more aggressive adjective than that.

As humans, we have a choice whether or not to believe anything. šŸ¤”šŸ‘
 
derpyderpins

derpyderpins

Misery Minimization Activist
Sep 19, 2023
571
That's a big assumption from the outset.

As for the alternative theory, I wouldn't qualify that with "kinda". I would use a more aggressive adjective than that.

As humans, we have a choice whether or not to believe anything. šŸ¤”šŸ‘
OP directed the question at people who do believe in God, so I worked within those parameters.
 
AlexYaBoy

AlexYaBoy

The Lord of Dribblers
Mar 11, 2024
114
"Lord, please grant me the serenity to accept that which I cannot change, the courage for that which I can, and the wisdom to understand the difference."

A little something extra.

"Peace, I leave with you, and my peace, I give you. I do not give as the world gives. Do not be afraid, and let not your hearts be troubled."
 
A

AlternativeHealer2

Member
Aug 16, 2020
26
There is no loving God that is in control in this world. That said we are not living in a material realm. It is supernatural in nature with invisible forces and entities..... just not a loving God. A loving God might exist, outside this plane, but that means we are prisoners here or that this is hell/purgatory
 
Houkki6404

Houkki6404

恗恆怂
Oct 10, 2023
44
I know not everyone believes in God, but to those who do

Why doesn't God help? :'(

I feel so hated. I know things could always be worse, but I still feel hated. I hate that I can't talk to God and be given an explanation.

Why would He make me so ugly, miserable, unlovable, useless?

I'm convinced it must be because I am a bad person. I don't know what's true though.
I feel the same way buddy, I also ask the same question all the time.
But I know that God loves you, God also loves me and God also doesn't see you as ugly, miserable and unlovable.
If the world made you think this way about yourself FUCK THEM.
What is more important? The world's opinion or God's opinion??

He loves you it's all that matters. he died for you, it's the biggest love you could ever feel.
I'm saying that because I also forget that, sometimes I don't see the magnitude of the situation.
Bro died for us, Jesus died for us.
I also hate that I can't listen to his voice, I also hate that i can't see he helping me, but I know he is somewhere helping us, we're just too blind to see him.
And as we're blind we try to find hope in other places, like ctb to go to heaven *extra early*.
I just pray that God may forgive me, if he doesn't I don't know what to do.
Last but not least, you are *not* a bad person.
I do not know you, but I just know that you are not a bad person, again, if the world made you think that F U C K T H E M.
Good luck buddy, if you ever want someone to talk to or listen to you, I'll be here okay? <3
 
Raindancer

Raindancer

Experienced
Nov 4, 2023
279
Thank you for your reply. One of my issues that has me feeling suicidal is severe insomnia. Awake again at 1.45am with no sign of sleep. Your comment helped me a little I hope it helps wildflowers 1996
I am sorry you suffer with insomnia as well. I do too and have for as long as I can remember. When it's bad I literally feel like I am going to lose it. It is one of the worst things ever and also is one of my top reasons. I wish I had something to recommend. I have tried absolutely everything and haven't found anything besides Xanax LOL and that is marginal. I am glad it helped and I hope so too!
 
Dusk till dawn

Dusk till dawn

Member
Sep 7, 2018
61
I don't think that's something anyone here can try to answer

That's something religious apologists try to answer, the usual answers from religious apologists are

- That's just a test from god
- This is a part of god's plan
- When you go to heaven you'll realise all this suffering was worth it


Anyways, if we go with a logical and rational approach, without blind faith, there is probably no god, it wouldn't make sense for god to create evil if he is really morally flawless as he is depicted in most religions
 
A

axab43

Member
Mar 10, 2024
45
For those who just say "how about there is no god?" I've been a Christian for 50 years. I've seen a lot and experienced a lot. I've wound up in a horrific place now but that is largely due to my own choices not God. Many scientists in the past and present acknowledge the existence of God. There is suffering but that is because, to remove suffering and make everything perfect, God would have to make everyone a load of robots or they would mess everything up again.

Not "preaching" just answering where other people have felt free enough to share their belief in the existence (or non existence) of God. I have questions/ am suffering now. Would rather not be here now, but I've had a lot of happy exerpiences in the past too. A lot of my "mess" now is my own doing, not God's!
 
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locked*n*loaded

locked*n*loaded

Archangel
Apr 15, 2022
5,736
If there is no god then maybe it's the universe, I mean I believe there has to be something, some kind of force, stronger than ours
IDK. No one does. I do believe everyone has the absolute right to believe anything they wish. And I do believe in physics laws, which govern everything in the universe.
 

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