I feel similar to alienfreak. It's part of my horror at existence and my desire to die if I can't live the simple, good life of a monk. I simply don't want to/can't live in the consumerist toxic hell world, using up resources, producing waste. That's one part of it anyway. As well as a lot of grief for my nostalgic feelings about nature and the seasons. Nature will be ok in the long run, it will outsurvive this species, and has been through many a so-called apocalypses before. But from a small human point of view, it is so heartbreaking.