Does CTB ever feel too hard?

[egoaltru]

I was planning on CTB tonight by overdosing on nutmeg. However, midway through I just didn't feel like it because it took too long and the nutmeg was making me sleepy. I wasn't scared or anything, but I became very lazy. Does anyone else ever feel like this?

 

[377e8372662]

I totally understand. It's the apathy. Why live, but why die?

 

[BoredNTired]

Yeah, I've been scared out of a few methods because of how much work and risk each one entailed. What finally motivate me to get SN was just remembering how much work living requires in comparison. No method of death is harder and more inconvenient than the rest of your life

 

[AuroraB]

First time I ever heard about nutmeg. After googling around, it doesn't sound lethal at all. So glad to read you're okay. Enjoy your sleep!

 

[egoaltru]

First time I ever heard about nutmeg. After googling around, it doesn't sound lethal at all. So glad to read you're okay. Enjoy your sleep!

There are two recorded cases of deaths from nutmeg toxicity. I have 3.7 ounces of nutmeg, which I think would be enough to kill me. I've had nearly three quarters of an ounce of it so far, slowly eating it every couple of minutes, but nothing has happened except for a little twitching, a racing heart, and of course, some drowsiness. I thought I would get to see some fun or scary hallucinations by now but no.

 

[d3j3ct3dl0s3r05]

Oh for sure, sometimes you spend ages counting down to the "final day" but once it comes, you're too lazy or survival instinct kicks in. I mean i couldn't give a damn what happens to me (my time is long overdue) but I sometimes think about how deeply and severely it would affect my younger sister and yeah…that's definitely an hindrance.

 

[DokuroChan]

I was planning on CTB tonight by overdosing on nutmeg. However, midway through I just didn't feel like it because it took too long and the nutmeg was making me sleepy. I wasn't scared or anything, but I became very lazy. Does anyone else ever feel like this?

Yep same vote, but i tried and got admitted.

 

[astr4]

it feels like we're all stuck in purgatory. this weird in between state. it's too hard to get better but too hard to die. so here we are in limbo.

 

[athiestjoe]

I am so sorry you are in so much pain & suffering, I wish I could take that all away from you!

Now, all nutmeg is going to do, at best, is make you feel dizzy, have delirium and cause dissociation. I would anticipate someone would vomit long, long before any actual risk of potentially dying from it ever happened. I am unaware of anyone dying from nutmeg although it turns out there are a whopping two of them. I think that speaks for itself as to the impracticality, unreliability and why this would be very much a not effective method to consider. Those odds are not in your favor, like extremely stacked against them. Practically nonexistent in medical literature. And who knows what else was going on with their age, health, other medications, or whatnot. When it comes to CTB, it is best to always do research and then make a well thought out decision. It sounds like using nutmeg would be somewhat impulsive, not well thought out, and might be one of those "finger-tip convenience" but ultimately a not good method to ever actually try if the goal was truly CTB. It simply is going to fail, I'm sorry.

But I can relate to you expressing feeling "lazy" and not going through with the attempt (even though I can kind of hardly call this an attempt given an attempt should have an actual chance of success and it is kind of hard to say this would; but I do not want minimize your experience and pain you must be in to have considered this).

With whatever you decide, I wish you nothing but the best and hope you find peace & serenity.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Yeah, ctb is extremely hard for me because I need to get my parents to disown me first before I can even get to attempt a horrific suicide attempt such as drowning. I can't do anything with my parents around as, if I could, I would just get SN and be long gone by now

 

[TearStainedSunsets]

Oh for sure, sometimes you spend ages counting down to the "final day" but once it comes, you're too lazy or survival instinct kicks in. I mean i couldn't give a damn what happens to me (my time is long overdue) but I sometimes think about how deeply and severely it would affect my younger sister and yeah…that's definitely an hindrance.

Yeah, sometimes I wish it was just as easy as saying I'm gonna do it. It's hard to live and its hard to die. It's just all around a messed up deal.