Discussion Does asking for help ever actually help?

[RdMrk]

Should I even bother trying?

 

[Death is my goal]

question is what are you losing by trying?

 

[RdMrk]

question is what are you losing by trying?

I fear I will risk relationships with friends and family, risk being heavily medicated with some sort of drug, and risk going through all of that for nothing

 

[Darkover]

depends what your asking help for if it's mental health problem then sometime there is help for it with medication but it does not alway help everyone

 

[SamTam33]

What exactly would you ask for help with and does that person truly have the ability to render said help?

Like, can they erase your memories? Can they undo the things that are traumatizing you?

If you need money, will they give it to you?

If you need a place to stay, can they give you one?

I find that most people are average and unremarkable, and are no more helpful than a random motivational video you can watch on Youtube at your own leisure.

 

[killmenow99]

in my experience so far it hasn't. been in and out of counseling and therapy, talked to my family and partner, none of that shit makes me feel better. if anything kind of makes me worse.

 

[RUPA]

depends on what kind/how long/how much of help you are seeking
If you can have not high expectation and deal with disappointment or even rejection, it wouldn't hurt to try
As for myself, I have learned that at the end of the day I am the only one who can help or save me even if it ultimately means ctb

 

[coltact]

No one can help you but yourself. This is so frustrating for myself, as I have people who care but I push them all away. None of them truly understand my pain and how debilitating it is, which leads them to eventually lose hope and drift away. It's getting harder as I'm getting older.

 

[rcs]

What kind of help are you looking for?

 

[flypno]

What exactly would you ask for help with and does that person truly have the ability to render said help?

Like, can they erase your memories? Can they undo the things that are traumatizing you?

If you need money, will they give it to you?

If you need a place to stay, can they give you one?

I find that most people are average and unremarkable, and are no more helpful than a random motivational video you can watch on Youtube at your own leisure.

this is hard. but true

 

[AngryDog]

It worked for me, at the very least. I talked with a therapist that was very supportive, but also let me realize how my life was being distorted by my suicidal ideation, which was caused primarily by my mental disorders. It was helpful to put feelings into words and to see where do they come from.

I believe you should try to speak with someone who's not easy to judge and can help you put things into persoective. Therapist, friend, relative, whoever you feel is a good listener.

Good luck!

 

[LittleJem]

look up reviews of medication - some of them get 9 or 10 out of 10 when they work for people. If you haven't tried it is worth trying.

In my personal history, medication has been more helpful than therapy. But a combo of both is meant to be good.

I would definitely give getting help a try.

 

[Lavender Dreams]

Depends on the type of help you're asking for and your condition, like the users above me said.

For myself, counselling and few therapists have been utterly useless, however the one I am currently working with had at least been really helpful with identifying my problems, verbalising them and finding some minimising strategies. Learn how to weed out bad therapists and it will be worth the hassle.

My stance is always that if there is someone out there who can help you make life more bearable, it's worth giving it a try. Irrespective of whether you choose to ctb or not in the end.

 

[jigsaw_falling]

i think, yes. it won't always, and that can definitely make someone feel like there's no point is asking for help. but, if you ask for help from the right people, and are committed to wanting to be helped then it can.

i wrote 'wanting to be helped' like that, because i don't fully want to accept help (i do want to stop feeling so miserable but i am not willing to give up some of my behaviours that would allow me to recover). but if reaching out and asking for help is something you feel ready to do, i think it can be so helpful.

like i said, i can't speak from personal experience because i feel like i can't commit to getting better right now. but, one of my friends was struggling a lot, for years, with mental illness and self harm, and suicide attempts. in late 2021, she started seeing a therapist, started to stay clean and, for her, it worked. she's more than a year clean from self harm now, and i'm honestly a little bitter to see her moving on with her life and becoming happy while i'm not.

but the point i'm trying to make is that reaching out for help, can help a LOT. this is sadly not always the case as some people have bad experiences, but that doesn't mean at all that it isn't possible.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Beyond help. Issues started decades ago in grade school -far too late now.

 

[arcadia]

It really depends. Finding relief from emotional problems? No. The average person can let you vent and that can be quite cathartic, but in terms of finding ways to overcome these and how they impact your life, the average person will be unable to help in this regard. Therapists can, though it depends on the quality of the therapist of course, and therapy can be something that isn't financial viable for many. Finding support? Yes. If you're with your parents, you can gain support for whatever you're going through. Have issues managing yourself due to you feeling low? They can help. Maybe confiding in teachers about how things are overwhelming could lead to additional assistance, provided you aren't upfront about suicidal ideation as they are required to report this. In my experience, most people are willing to help. They may misunderstand but often times, if you are close to this person, their intent will not be malicious. But we cannot expect for others to have solutions to our problems when we cannot figure these out ourselves. It's difficult to realise this, but it's the truth. Emotional pain and/or suicidal ideation is complex, and 9 times out of 10 people wont provide a balanced outlook on whether or not living is worth it. They'll be emotional, highly upset, and may say hurtful things. The best way to gain a balanced outlook on this is time, if you consistently judge life to not be worth it then that is your judgement. One that isn't spurred by impulsivity or moments of great pain. Medication also helps most, so please look into this. Free if in the UK, with long wait times. If you're in the US, save up for this.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that any of the types of "help" that people commonly push the idea of are just a way for the industry to profit from people's suffering, therapy is certainly a scam. I think that the whole idea of "help", and why people force it on others is to delude them into staying here so that the society doesn't lose it slaves.

The reality that life is filled with suffering cannot be "helped" and there is just no real relief from it as long as one stays here. I've never understood the appeal of existing, where humans exist just to suffer, deteriorate and die with no limit as to how much that they can be tortured. Life itself really is the true problem.

 

[BBBB]

Depends but YES it can.