Discussion Does appearance matter in life?

[nigelhernandez]

People say that it doesn't but there are studies that show people treat attractive men and women better and assume they're more intelligent, wealthy, moral etc...

Now is anyone saying you can't be successful without being good looking, of course not but it makes things easier. Just like being born into a wealthy family makes it easier to become even more wealthy. A poor person can do it but it's a hell of a lot harder.

 

[nothingchanges]

appearance is most of what matters in life. humans are oriented to prefer and trust more biologically attractive people. it's just fact that regardless of most behavior people will like you more, befriend you more, promote you more, trust you more etc, if you're more attractive. for some reason we're programmed to equate physical attraction to character even though they're entirely uncorrelated. (people like to say that things are in the eye of the beholder but physical attraction is as objective as it gets and determined by symmetricism, definition of face, good ratios of features, jaw width ratio for men, waist to hip ratio for women etc etc) any time you're interested in someone it's because your brain has pumped you full of positive emotion in relation to being around and with them. that's because it recognized different markers of health and fertility in the person.

 

[Mr2005]

I think you can see the ugliness inherent in many attractive people and it stops them being attractive

 

[Leshen]

Absolutely, all this talk about inner beauty is delusional bullshit.
We're apes that evolved to care about looks first and foremost. If you're ugly it's game over.

 

[Amumu]

I wouldn't be here if appearance didn't matter in life.

 

[Xocoyotziin]

I don't want to be too much of a woah brah that's deep type person but my understanding is that appearance is really all we can ever base our understanding of someone else on. Not just physical appearance but other appearances as well. Even if you judge someone unfairly based on one appearance the evidence that contradicts that judgment is just another appearance. What you end up with is a rabbit hole of appearances circling an invisible truth and through those appearances you can guess what the truth might be but you can never directly access it

Appearance matters a lot and one of the worst things someone can do is not show their truth through appearance. The only reason we're even capable of lying and being lied to is because of how heavily we rely on appearance to know what's true.

Physical appearance fits into this because it can either constrain or augment that truth like a mask you're being forced to wear. If you're lucky the mask you're wearing fits what's beneath it. But because all anyone can ever see is the mask and whatever additions and subtractions you make to it it's always going to matter unless whoever you're interacting with decides to abandon preconception altogether. I don't even know if that's possible.

 

[XYZ]

Absolutely, all this talk about inner beauty is delusional bullshit.
We're apes that evolved to care about looks first and foremost. If you're ugly it's game over.

Would you rather spend 10 years with someone who is physically attractive but mean as hell to you, or someone who is physically unattractive but kind to you?

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I posted this before, but South Park once had something to say about physical attractiveness...


Beauty is both a blessing and a curse. Even for people who can reap the benefits of physical attractiveness, those looks are going to fade eventually and then what will they have?

 

[Lilacmoon]

I'm not going to say I'm attractive, but I've had way more unwanted attention from men then I could ask for. I'm sure it's a curse for the less physically attractive too. No way to win, is there?

 

[Amumu]

I'm not going to say I'm attractive, but I've had way more unwanted attention from men then I could ask for. I'm sure it's a curse for the less physically attractive too. No way to win, is there?

It's not only about others, it's about ourselves too. But both are linked.
From 8 to 18, I was told I was completely ugly everyday for some reasons.
Then I developed extreme dysmorphophobia.
Then some people have told me I was handsome for the past three years. I'm 22 soon.

But it's too late. My memories won't leave me. And I can't cope with that.

 

[Lilacmoon]

It's not only about others, it's about ourselves too. But both are linked.
From 8 to 18, I was told I was completely ugly everyday for some reasons.
Then I developed extreme dysmorphophobia.
Then some people have told me I was handsome for the past three years. I'm 22 soon.

But it's too late. My memories won't leave me. And I can't cope with that.

That's awful. Hearing that so often in your formative years would make anyone internalize those toxic words. Hopefully you can find some distraction or relief from the memories somehow.

 

[infinitelove]

Even when one is attractive, there awaits a massive blow to the ego - when age kicks in, or a freak accident, beauty fades.. reactions and treatment they were once used to can change, leaving them in a crisis grieving the identity they believed they were. It can be catastrophic. If we do not honour our inner identity (our honest and fearless thoughts, emotions, perceptions, authenticity ect) regardless of looks, gender and age - we imprison ourselves. As the quote goes "the greatest prison people live in is in the fear of what other people think." Yes, majority of the world judges by looks, but it goes to show that majority of people tend to be drone like bots with no real eyes to see and lacking that warmth and real essence we hardly get to see in this world anymore. Character, integrity and realness trumps anything that is physical. It's good to envision ourselves without a body or face that cannot be judged since death and release from the body is a guarantee. No one can hold onto their physical shell forever. Just look at how people obsessively hold onto beauty at all costs in a fearful and paranoid manner, yet inside they may never know who they truly are. It's all too common in this distorted world and society- success and worth depending on looks, yet no real love or truth is present in any of it. The way society is structured is not normal either and yet people think they've won in life if they're rich and look good- yet they're still playing inside an orchestrated exploitive shit play pen run by psychopaths. It gets you nowhere in my opinion because this experience here is so short- yet people spend it living a lie. Physical manifestations are subjective, temporary and tangible. None of it lasts- it's important to remember and hold onto what is real. For me it is soul/ the core essence experiencing itself through physicality that truly matters and cannot be controlled or touched, which takes a massive weight off our shoulders when we realise we are not the body and so are not bound to it or the circumstances of it.

 

[clayp]

Yes it does, good looking people, get the best jobs, the best partners and make the most beautiful babies.

 

[Klee]

Unfortunately, I think it does.

 

[GravityUtilizer]

Yes. Money, looks and confidence are all forms of currency in this world.

 

[timeisnigh]

I posted this before, but South Park once had something to say about physical attractiveness...


Beauty is both a blessing and a curse. Even for people who can reap the benefits of physical attractiveness, those looks are going to fade eventually and then what will they have?

they'll still be decent looking old folk, and have pleasant memories

anyway looks TOTALLY matter: I'm all of the good things not related to looks, handsome and in shape, but I'm 5'6/168cm. life doesn't even matter for short men

 

[catalepsy]

I dunno, I tend to assume attractive people are going to be annoying, bad with money, and vapid. That's just me, though. And people have told me I'm attractive before, so take that how you will.

 

[Antigonish]

Appearance will always matter. It shouldn't but that's just the way things are. We as human being access all situations by what we first see, instead of what you know. Rightful judgement is the best way to, and it's a process that will happen only one person at time. Basically just dont assume anything about a person because how they look.
The larger part of the world may do it, but you dont have to.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

they'll still be decent looking old folk, and have pleasant memories

anyway looks TOTALLY matter: I'm all of the good things not related to looks, handsome and in shape, but I'm 5'6/168cm. life doesn't even matter for short men

I'm sorry for you. What the video said is still true though, ugly people have more room for character growth because people are less likely to act fake around them just because they're hot.

 

[timeisnigh]

I'm sorry for you. What the video said is still true though, ugly people have more room for character growth because people are less likely to act fake around them just because they're hot.

The video may be right, but I have character.

Fuck character.

I want to not get left at the altar over my height, not character

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

The video may be right, but I have character.

Fuck character.

I want to not get left at the altar over my height, not character

I can understand that. I just hope you keep it in mind. It's helped me accept my own unattractiveness at least even though I don't think my character is very good either. I think I would also hate being too attractive anyway because I'd be paranoid that all my relationships platonic and romantic are shallow but that's just me. I hope you find peace going forward whatever that means for you.

 

[timeisnigh]

I can understand that. I just hope you keep it in mind. It's helped me accept my own unattractiveness at least even though I don't think my character is very good either. I think I would also hate being too attractive anyway because I'd be paranoid that all my relationships platonic and romantic are shallow but that's just me. I hope you find peace going forward whatever that means for you.

what I'm going to do is kill myself. attempted the other night, was going to tonight but I'm too tired

it's not peace, just no longer knowing I'm a useless short man
I refuse to "accept my unattractiveness." beauty is the supreme good and living ugly isn't life

 

[checkouttime]

just because you have good looks doesn't mean that you aren't a total arsehole(looks around at himself!!!!) also appearance is not just defined in looks, if you were dressed scruffy and good looking you would be less attractive to others.

If your a total fucking arseole, it doesn't matter what looks you have. some people may follow you( how unlucky for them) but alot will give you a wide birth.

you don't have to be the best looking person, but if you take care of yourself, dress smart, be clean, treat poeple with respect, be nice etc. you'll probably go a long way (like dont let people walk all over you though by being too nice)

problem is when you are depressed etc you tend not too look after yourself(i can speak from experience)

 

[timeisnigh]

if you take care of yourself, dress smart, be clean, treat poeple with respect, be nice etc. you'll probably go a long way

false

 

[Lupgevif]

It helps, but not to the extent that I think it "matters".

 

[Final Escape]

Yes but that's not the only thing. You can be really hot and a total piece of shizzle lol! It helps attract people to u but it doesn't determine happiness or wether u will have a meaningful fulfilling life. You can make dumb decisions and still mess up your life as an attractive person.

 

[lotus11]

yes it definitely matters, I mean yes there are other things, and it depends how much you care about it, but personally, if I were to wake up tomorrow a shining beauty with a naturally perfect figure, perfect skin and hair, lovely even features and metabolism to eat what I liked and stay that way I would be SO much happier and life would undoubtedly be easier

 

[timeisnigh]

your post

read: if you're hot then you can fuck it up but if you're ugly then you're fucked no matter what

cool!

like money can't buy happiness: it's just that being without money makes you miserable

 

[Final Escape]

read: if you're hot then you can fuck it up but if you're ugly then you're fucked no matter what

cool!

like money can't buy happiness: it's just that being without money makes you miserable

Actually less attractive or more average looking people seem to succeed most in longterm relationships. Highly attractive people tend to be less faithful or hop around to different people.

 

[timeisnigh]

Actually less attractive or more average looking people seem to succeed most in longterm relationships. Highly attractive people tend to be less faithful or hop around to different people.

1) you say that like it's a bad thing

2) either are better than being 5'6, autistic, chronically single and just wasting time on SS until the sun sets to walk to the woods and shoot yourself on 28 Sep 2020 ...