Yes I had to today. It was horrible. I was with a guy and I felt like he could see my mask slip lol! I struggled to hide how I really feel inside. It was brutal. I feel at times like I don't actually exist even though I'm conscious and aware of my body. It's like I'm totally lost and flopping around like a fish out of water. I had decided to go on a date and this guy was trying to get serious so fast. Not sexually but like dating wise. He wanted to get exclusive and it was only a second date. Then on top of it I had to keep lying about my work lol! I know I shouldn't date but I guess I wanted to feel normal with a guy for once. Someone who I did not meet as a sex worker. But I had trouble lying about it so I don't think I'm going to try to date again. I just wanted to see if going on a normal date might help me feel differently about myself. But no, I actually felt worse in a normal situation, probably because it requires vulnerability, full honesty, and time to develop real intimacy with someone. I'm always afraid my crazy will come out as the dates progress 
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