ferret-in-a-sock
Member
- Jan 25, 2023
- 72
So...whenever I brought this up in therapy, at least the therapists I had were just dumbfounded. They don't seem to get it.
I have an issue where I'm convinced there's a bed bug infestation like for the past 6 years off an on. No, there's no signs. The blood on the sheets is from SI. I will vacuum, wash everything on high heat, throw everything away like every other month. I will flip the mattress, wash my bed frame down with soap, water and alcohol and religiously inspect glue traps. Not once have I ever found a bed bug (other than apparently earwigs, fire brats, a couple of silverfish and carpet beetles). I'll angst over if that carpet beetle or piece of lint or dirt is actually a sign of a bed bug. Worse is the skin picking. I'll becone convinced I have bites and scratch and claw at ny skin until it's red and has circular marks...from picking. Then my eczema reacts to the stress and soon it looks like I am a victim of bug bites.
Yes, I know this is irrational.
I chocked this up to OCD, but during a psych evaluation the psychatrist disagreed. She said it's only anxiety. The SSRI doesn't seem to affect frequency or severity of the delusions. In fact, even on good days, if I see a "sign" of a bug I'll revert to immediate desire to CTB. I will often just OD on sleeping pills when I can't stop so I can sleep and avoid the terror.
It often feels like bugs crawling on my skin and under the worst conditions I'll see bugs where there isn't. Not a lot. Just swearing I saw something moving and so I'll slap the sticky trap against it and then pull it away to see...nothing.
Regardless, psychiatrist and therapists brush it off. They go "consider using DBT skill check the facts or problem solving." The thing is, in my illogical, fearful state, no facts -- Google or a pest control inspector telling me there's nothing there -- ever decrease the feeling. I tell them this and they seem to just shrug like "You're not trying then."
Just what do I do? It really makes life hard. And why do my therapists seem deaf to it. They're always like "you know it's not real so it's not an issue."
I have an issue where I'm convinced there's a bed bug infestation like for the past 6 years off an on. No, there's no signs. The blood on the sheets is from SI. I will vacuum, wash everything on high heat, throw everything away like every other month. I will flip the mattress, wash my bed frame down with soap, water and alcohol and religiously inspect glue traps. Not once have I ever found a bed bug (other than apparently earwigs, fire brats, a couple of silverfish and carpet beetles). I'll angst over if that carpet beetle or piece of lint or dirt is actually a sign of a bed bug. Worse is the skin picking. I'll becone convinced I have bites and scratch and claw at ny skin until it's red and has circular marks...from picking. Then my eczema reacts to the stress and soon it looks like I am a victim of bug bites.
Yes, I know this is irrational.
I chocked this up to OCD, but during a psych evaluation the psychatrist disagreed. She said it's only anxiety. The SSRI doesn't seem to affect frequency or severity of the delusions. In fact, even on good days, if I see a "sign" of a bug I'll revert to immediate desire to CTB. I will often just OD on sleeping pills when I can't stop so I can sleep and avoid the terror.
It often feels like bugs crawling on my skin and under the worst conditions I'll see bugs where there isn't. Not a lot. Just swearing I saw something moving and so I'll slap the sticky trap against it and then pull it away to see...nothing.
Regardless, psychiatrist and therapists brush it off. They go "consider using DBT skill check the facts or problem solving." The thing is, in my illogical, fearful state, no facts -- Google or a pest control inspector telling me there's nothing there -- ever decrease the feeling. I tell them this and they seem to just shrug like "You're not trying then."
Just what do I do? It really makes life hard. And why do my therapists seem deaf to it. They're always like "you know it's not real so it's not an issue."