TAW122
Emissary of the right to die.
- Aug 30, 2018
- 6,721
Does anyone get mad when people try to be uplifting and encouraging towards you, thinking it will help? I had similar experiences IRL where when I self-deprecate myself usually after failing or not doing well at a task, then someone decides to be encouraging and immediately try to pep-talk me. For example, there was a time where I simply couldn't do something well, maybe failing at a trivial task multiple times before just barely getting it right and I self-deprecate by saying "I suck at x or I'm a failure, I can't even do xyz right!" Then immediately someone says "You're not a failure!" I just get really annoyed and pissed off when I hear that because it not only dismisses me, but it's also patronizing (especially the condescending pep talk). Growing up I was rarely ever in the position of making demands or leading people, I was the sheep while others in my life were sheepdogs, shepards, and what not. I oftenly get lectured about what to do, how to live, and just critiqued (when I never asked for it).
So in short, I hate it when people try to be encouraging, uplifting, and helpful (when they aren't being helpful but think they are); it not only makes me feel invalidated (e.g. "You're not a failure!") by dismissing whatever my feelings and claims are, but also belitting me with the uplifting peptalk of a speech. Some people have said that if I reject those who do that, soon I will have nobody to share my failures, successes, and what not experiences in life with. I'm okay with that because quite frankly, I'd rather be lonely than to have patronizing and superficial people who see me as some 'project' or treats me like I'm a child. Yes, being lonely sucks, but beats being 'pitied' and/or looked down is even worse. I care about my dignity and pride (quite a lot tbh) so I would rather be lonely and solo than to have superficial and even patronizing beings around me.
What are your experiences with people who say and do things like that? Do you get offended or annoyed?
So in short, I hate it when people try to be encouraging, uplifting, and helpful (when they aren't being helpful but think they are); it not only makes me feel invalidated (e.g. "You're not a failure!") by dismissing whatever my feelings and claims are, but also belitting me with the uplifting peptalk of a speech. Some people have said that if I reject those who do that, soon I will have nobody to share my failures, successes, and what not experiences in life with. I'm okay with that because quite frankly, I'd rather be lonely than to have patronizing and superficial people who see me as some 'project' or treats me like I'm a child. Yes, being lonely sucks, but beats being 'pitied' and/or looked down is even worse. I care about my dignity and pride (quite a lot tbh) so I would rather be lonely and solo than to have superficial and even patronizing beings around me.
What are your experiences with people who say and do things like that? Do you get offended or annoyed?