Discussion Does anyone feel like they have a mask?

[anonymous anomaly]

I feel like I wear a mask when I'm around my friends and family, so that they don't worry about me, or see how unhappy I am. Does anyone else feel that if you tell anyone, they'll just be disgusted or call you attention-seeking or selfish?

 

[Flume]

This is the most common feeling I see all around the internet, here... pretty much all over. "Anyone" is a lot of people and you are not alone.

And I also think you should go over in detail about why someone would call you attention-seeking or be disgusted when you are honest with them. Why do you feel that way and what makes you think that?

But I'm not that guy, I have to much on my own to deal with and I can't carry others peoples weights on me right now. But... if you find someone here you trust and think is smart then bring it up if it feels ok, because I think you are a liar honestly. Why would anyone be disgusted if you are honest with them? Deep within you are not some piece of trash masquerading as a normal person I just don't belive that.

Sending love

 

[MysticPerception]

I used to feel like that all the time. A while ago I just dropped it completely though. I'm pretty open with my coworkers and friends about how I don't care if something were to just drop on top of me and kill me outright. It's actually makes day to day life a lot more relaxing not feeling like I'm afraid they'll see past the deception or anything. I don't bring it up around my family though since whenever I'm with all of them at once I don't feel as sad anyway.

I'm not saying though that you should try to drop it. I mostly did it out of tiredness of holding up the mask in the first place. Just know that everyone is busy thinking about their own problems and themselves, even if you are openly sad around them they might not care enough to insult you but that can be painful in itself if they just ignore it completely.

 

[anonymous anomaly]

This is the most common feeling I see all around the internet, here... pretty much all over. "Anyone" is a lot of people and you are not alone.

And I also think you should go over in detail about why someone would call you attention-seeking or be disgusted when you are honest with them. Why do you feel that way and what makes you think that?

But I'm not that guy, I have to much on my own to deal with and I can't carry others peoples weights on me right now. But... if you find someone here you trust and think is smart then bring it up if it feels ok, because I think you are a liar honestly. Why would anyone be disgusted if you are honest with them? Deep within you are not some piece of trash masquerading as a normal person I just don't belive that.

Sending love

One time, I told my friends and they started treating me differently. I then heard from another friends that they thought how I thought was selfish and self-obsessed. I know that it was probably just over-exaggerated, but it got to me.

 

[Soulless_Angel]

One time, I told my friends and they started treating me differently. I then heard from another friends that they thought how I thought was selfish and self-obsessed. I know that it was probably just over-exaggerated, but it got to me.

shit happens when people don't understand it, also I have seen a few actually be attention seeking.... its these people that make it hard for those that truely need/want that support and that network
I wear a mask daily, I have no other option then to *pretend* even my husband is now fooled into thinking it's all fine, A mask is sometimes a important need to protect ourselves, there is no shame in it, as is also no shame in being open and honest about how you feel if people want to judge and accuse, fuck them! Find new friends

 

[Despondent]

It's something I've learned to do

 

[Mm80]

Probably most people feel the same to be honest. The reason i dont tell people is because most dont understand and try to talk you out of it or tell you that life is worth living. People tend to put their own fears and insecurities around death onto you, instead of actually listening and respecting your choices. Thats why this forum helps as its completely supportive of what is still a taboo subject.

 

[DepressedAngel]

I do the same thing. My friends don't really understand what I'm going through, they think I should just be able to "stop" feeling suicidal. I always feel like I have to fake a smile because if they ask what's wrong it will be the same thing over and over; and I will end up just being someone who obsesses over one "tiny" problem and makes it into a big deal. So yeah, can't really be honest with anyone, because most people don't understand and if they do they can't exactly fix it for me haha. I'm sorry that so many of us have had the same experience.


Sending love and the hopes that things will get better

 

[Quax]

My mask is my best friend.

 

[Moonicide]

All the time. I'm so good at it that even a person told me, "You don't come off as someone that wants to die." I can still laugh and act animated, but I think in a sense it's because I still want to show the best part of me even though I'll be ctbing soon... It's still such a lonely and painful feeling. It's also downright exhausting... Because my friends don't know, and they can't know. If they did know they'll try to save me and I do not want to be saved. I'm just so tired. We all are.

My heart goes out to all of you that have to be brave and put on a mask every single day in order to live and appease others. We deserve so much more. We deserve better.