Venting Does anyone feel like there’s no other option than suicide?

[Deformationalplagio]

Im a catagory of my own i think im not terminal bit i am (heavily) deformed wich is a bit of a death sentence its sad

 

[mpnf]

Uhhhhhh

I'd guess. It's a factor for me. I was basically using Pareto, and it's pretty well established that suicides are mostly impulsive. I am of the opinion that impulsive suicides are tragedies. This is because these people would benefit from treatment, or just taking some time to think over whatever downturn of fortune they've encountered.

And I'm an efilist antinatalist.

What do you mean by "impulsive suicides are tragedies" ..that they end up in a worse state than they were before?

I have really thought about suicide with SN and read a lot of post in here and I really wish to die to stop the mental pain and to not to continue moving backwards as I'm doing right now. I feel trapped in my own mind. One of my fears is vomiting and calling the ER and not dying and end up having it worse than before. This doesn't mean I am impulsive about it, I'm just scared the SI kicks in at that moment and then It'll be over and don't know what side effects could I get from that. Also I am not scared of death but the pain that comes with it.
I think most of us, if we were in different life conditions or different situations in life, would not want to commit suicide. This goes for the physically ill, the mentally ones or both. It goes for all.
Don't think most people that have it all , that are content with their lifestyle and themselves would just want to die. For no reason.

 

[astro]

I definitely feel like there isn't another option. I gotta say it's a terrible feeling.

 

[Steamm]

I definitely feel like there isn't another option. I gotta say it's a terrible feeling.

I feel trapped, hoping I could go back in time and make things different

 

[mpnf]

these people aswell may fail attempt and jump from a building legs first to be paralyzed and in deep shit....

Anyone can fail an attempt of suicide, unless you use something 100% sure no failure. So many factors could come up and determine if you die or not. And it would not be their fault. Yours or mine.

I understand what you're saying, I somewhat agree. But for me, I've been extremely depressed for just about my entire life, which has only been made worse by bad choices on my part and harm done to me by those who were supposed to protect me as a young child. The psychological torment and pain has become debilitating over the years and I am now at a point where I am experiencing physical symptoms from not being able to function properly (not eating and generally not taking very good care of myself over the years) and my anxiety and panic disorder. I agree with what you're saying entirely for those who are simply going through a depressive episode or are in a crap circumstance. For others, it's a lifetime struggle that just gets to be too much and becomes hardly worth putting in more effort into, especially if you've spent so much of your life fighting.

I could never have said it better and it's true..my English skills are awful.

 

[Ljthagooon]

Yuhhh fuck life like ion wanna die but I have nothing left at the same time the only thing I can smile and laugh at is old memories

 

[enjoy]

yes. i don't have much. in recovery and it's tough. i feel like even if i don't ctb now, i'll end up doing it in the future. i wanna die on my own terms.

 

[Isittimetogonola]

There are a few things that I could do to stay but I am just so very tired. Tired of hiding my true self, tired of dealing with daily depression in spite of medications. Just everything...So ctb is the lesser of all evils. I suppose this very fluid for me as I am still here but I have always known this would be the way I would leave this earth.

 

[colcol]

Yeah I know exactly what you're saying. I don't want to do this at all and never thought I'd have to. I could kill the person who ruined my life it's just that that persons me

ditto

 

[Largeletters]

I want to live, I want my life back, but I made the most STUPIDEST decisions ever. And it cost me my life. I am forced to CTB, when I don't want to. It's the worst pain ever; worse than hell man

I feel you on this one.

 

[Swedish Equality]

Me. Don't wanna die. But i have no other options. Because of laws and political repressions. And ignorance, in short.

 

[oxymoron]

Ya

 

[a.n.kirillov]

So most of you it seems actually want to live, i.e. not just survive but there are things you would like to achieve/ have?

 

[LittleJem]

my depressed friend with chronic horrendous tinnitus (caused by psych meds) loves going to Thailand. It is his happy place.

 

[one4all]

Yes i do. I'm pretty sure this is the only way my book of life must end

 

[Usako0504]

This is going to sound awful, but...unless you are truly backed into a corner - and really that only corner is your physical body is in so much pain they you can't function or have a quality of life...otherwise, I believe there is ALWAYS another way. I have been through a major depressive episode in the past - so I do know what that feels like - and I wanted to die then, too. That was 15 years ago and I had a wonderful life after. Simply beautiful. It wasn't until I lost my physical health that I was able to see how bad things REALLY can be. I urge you, if in good health...find another way. ♥

ive been trying for a while but it's really money and mental illness means I'm not good at anything. So even in good health I'm basically worthless because I can't keep a job or produce money.

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

Very often I think that way.
Only sometimes I get a bit of hope that I can fix my life but it's not very realistic when I look at the whole picture and descending trend.
Transgender, very mentally ill, on disability, resources are slowly dwindling, alone in the country.
I don't think I am gonna make it. I can't accept quality of life lower than I have now.
Only a miracle can save me.

 

[BPD Barbie]

Even though I'm recovering I still often wonder what the point is. I'm still in crippling debt with no job or house, I'm just in a better place mentally even though its fragile and starting to shatter the past few days. So what am I recovering for? The future doesn't hold promise, it doesn't hold anything good, it holds more problems and obstacles.

 

[to_rid_the_disease]

I had a feeling that suicide was how I was going to leave here so I've accepted it and made peace with the fact that my expiry date is a little earlier than some others. It's fine. I've never wanted to be a mother or get married and never had any career prospects or real passions to inspire me. I've had fun in my life but now is my time to go. For those who still want to live. There is a reason you feel this way and it's because there is still hope for you. I believe there is still hope for you. I don't think it is your time yet.

 

[muntyroo]

Yes I am in a similar situation, albeit the UK. The silent bone crunching misery daily is just appalling. Nobody around me has a single clue.

 

[Ulisses]

I want to live, I want my life back, but I made the most STUPIDEST decisions ever. And it cost me my life. I am forced to CTB, when I don't want to. It's the worst pain ever; worse than hell man

what stupid decisions? do you want to talk about them, vent?

 

[Final Escape]

Especially when I'm suicidal yes, it feels like the only way to finally have peace. I'm currently feeling like I will try again soon. I can't find a strong enough reason to stick around. I feel like this was meant to be my fate or something.

 

[TAW122]

I was indifferent towards suicide younger, but as I've gotten older and especially after experiencing what life is, I decided that life isn't for everyone, myself included. Of course, I also have issues (both personal and external - environmental) that have no solution (other than just accepting it which is nothing I wish nor can do). Therefore, I believe that CTB is my destiny and an inevitable outcome for me. I am only currently around to tie loose ends and prepare for the ultimate moment, which is my CTB attempt (later this year).

 

[to_rid_the_disease]

I would hate for people on here to ctb when they don't want to or aren't sure. That's why I'm so glad this website is here so people can vent and get support. If anyone needs an ear, message me. I'll try get back to you.

 

[taylor321]

I mean, dammit I wanna live, but the corcunstances force me to leave this world. Know what I'm saying?

Yup, except I have nothing and nobody to live for :/

 

[TheSuicidalEccentric]

what stupid decisions? do you want to talk about them, vent?

Stupid decisions that no ordinary, empathetic human being would ever think of making.

 

[AcornUnderground]

ive been trying for a while but it's really money and mental illness means I'm not good at anything. So even in good health I'm basically worthless because I can't keep a job or produce money.

I understand. Mental illness can be physically disabling and affects everything. I am running out of money and can't work, either. I feel you. It's awful.

 

[TheSuicidalEccentric]

I understand. Mental illness can be physically disabling and affects everything. I am running out of money and can't work, either. I feel you. It's awful.

Money is just manmade material constructed from paper and plastic, and electronic zeroes and ones in a bank's computer systems. It's worthless. It means nothing, yet mankind kills each other over it. Becomes greedy over something so useless. Society puts down those who have less "money," and if you have no money at all you get arrested and abused.

Modern day society defines people by money, and more money gives you more power over others. It's sickening. It is a reason people go to suicide, and can cause wars and conflict. Human beings are very weird that way.

 

[AcornUnderground]

Money is just manmade material constructed from paper and plastic, and electronic zeroes and ones in a bank's computer systems. It's worthless. It means nothing, yet mankind kills each other over it. Becomes greedy over something so useless. Society puts down those who have less "money," and if you have no money at all you get arrested and abused.

Modern day society defines people by money, and more money gives you more power over others. It's sickening. It is a reason people go to suicide, and can cause wars and conflict. Human beings are very weird that way.

It's hard when there is no money for housing, medication, food etc.

 

[TheSuicidalEccentric]

It's hard when there is no money for housing, medication, food etc.

Go to the wilderness with some people and build your own house or shelter. Find your own medication from plants. Hunt for food. You can do all of these things without money; you just need knowledge and the ability to think.

I find it funny how society has trapped us from birth into believing you cannot live without money, when in reality, you can if you try.