I mean, dammit I wanna live, but the corcunstances force me to leave this world. Know what I'm saying?
percentages are a Scientific Wild Ass Guess
~80%, the impulsive group, don't think it through and "circumstances force them to leave this world."
~15%, the "SaSu" group, have sat down and made a calculating decision, and noticed that for whatever reason ... circumstances don't promote them not leaving this world
~5% are terminal disease and by definition, their circumstances have forced them to leave this world.
~80%, the impulsive group, don't think it through and "circumstances force them to leave this world."
~15%, the "SaSu" group, have sat down and made a calculating decision, and noticed that for whatever reason ... circumstances don't promote them not leaving this world
~5% are terminal disease and by definition, their circumstances have forced them to leave this world.
Uhhhhhh
I'd guess. It's a factor for me. I was basically using Pareto, and it's pretty well established that suicides are mostly impulsive. I am of the opinion that impulsive suicides are tragedies. This is because these people would benefit from treatment, or just taking some time to think over whatever downturn of fortune they've encountered.
And I'm an efilist antinatalist.
Mr2005
Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
- Sep 25, 2018
- 3,622
Yeah I know exactly what you're saying. I don't want to do this at all and never thought I'd have to. I could kill the person who ruined my life it's just that that persons me
these people aswell may fail attempt and jump from a building legs first to be paralyzed and in deep shit....
I want to live, I want my life back, but I made the most STUPIDEST decisions ever. And it cost me my life. I am forced to CTB, when I don't want to. It's the worst pain ever; worse than hell man
This is going to sound awful, but...unless you are truly backed into a corner - and really that only corner is your physical body is in so much pain they you can't function or have a quality of life...otherwise, I believe there is ALWAYS another way. I have been through a major depressive episode in the past - so I do know what that feels like - and I wanted to die then, too. That was 15 years ago and I had a wonderful life after. Simply beautiful. It wasn't until I lost my physical health that I was able to see how bad things REALLY can be. I urge you, if in good health...find another way. 
Yeah, your garden variety impulsive suicides botch the job badly, unless they use what clinicians call "highly lethal means."
(cough: firearms)
My buddy's logged six attempts and keeps fucking it up.
TheEndof
It's getting dark and it's getting cold
- Dec 31, 2019
- 146
I understand what you're saying, I somewhat agree. But for me, I've been extremely depressed for just about my entire life, which has only been made worse by bad choices on my part and harm done to me by those who were supposed to protect me as a young child. The psychological torment and pain has become debilitating over the years and I am now at a point where I am experiencing physical symptoms from not being able to function properly (not eating and generally not taking very good care of myself over the years) and my anxiety and panic disorder. I agree with what you're saying entirely for those who are simply going through a depressive episode or are in a crap circumstance. For others, it's a lifetime struggle that just gets to be too much and becomes hardly worth putting in more effort into, especially if you've spent so much of your life fighting.
What is your situation? If you don't want to share publicly, start a private chat with me
Agreed. Not many people know what it's like to have chronic depression. I have not had it my whole life, but I have had severe depression for 12 years now and many signs that I had a less intense but still significant form of it since much earlier. This is why I hate most gathering places for depression but online and offline - the vast majority of people there are usually not that depressed, haven't felt that way for very long, and have decent lives. It's a small handful of people who really know what this is like.
also can understand u so good.. have so much physical symptoms that started when I was not able anymore to take care for my mental health.. and thats why I hsve to ctb, cuz i feel so sick and painful
Tired01
New Member
- Feb 13, 2020
- 4
Completely get you, it's not what I want but at the mo I'm failing to see another way forward. Years more of living like this fills me with dread as it's too painful . I'm honestly starting to feel like I have no choice
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Nem
Drs suck mega ass!
- Sep 3, 2018
- 1,489
Yep, suicide is my only hope for having a peaceful sleep. My life got destroyed by taking shitty meds, having a shitty dr and having a shitty relationship with a confirmed sociopath
Peace/hugs/death
Peace/hugs/death
Yes. I'm leaving soon. Ending my stupidty and this world makes me sick. Hope I don't reincarnate. I don't want to return here. If I choose to keep on libing then I'm masochist. I don't want this anymore.
Same.
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Yes. I can't wait to be out. It's a good question why I still haven't done it, although i have everything i need for my method. But i don't live alone, and need to secure a few days alone so I don't get interrupted. Otherwise, I'm thinking to go on a trip and kill me then. I'll see. But my plan is to commit fairly soon
RottenDeer
Rotten to the core.
- Feb 29, 2020
- 157
This. I am more than sure that I will end my life by my own hand. There is no other option for me.
faust
lost among the stars
- Jan 26, 2020
- 3,138
If I imagine myself staying, I can feel a shiver on my skin.
Let's make a mathematical equation.
Let x be my mental illness
Let y be the perspectives in my life
Let z be meaning of existence
For improvement we use +, for deterioration -;
Existence will have a coeff. of 1 as well as mental illness
Perspectives let be 2. Because if you live a life you want, it beats the rest two parameters for me
So in order to stay I must have a result which is more than zero.
Hence:
My mental illness won't probably get much worse and won't get better, so we can put a zero
It is 0*x then
Perspectives in life are horrible, because it will just be a disaster and even if I drop everything and start living how I want I will have severe consequences.
It is objective -2*y
The existential crisis won't disappear and likely it won't get worse, so putting 0*z
Now replacing x,y,z to 1
0*1 - 2*1 + 0*1 = -2
-2 is not greater than zero.
Hence, I have to look for tickets.
Let's make a mathematical equation.
Let x be my mental illness
Let y be the perspectives in my life
Let z be meaning of existence
For improvement we use +, for deterioration -;
Existence will have a coeff. of 1 as well as mental illness
Perspectives let be 2. Because if you live a life you want, it beats the rest two parameters for me
So in order to stay I must have a result which is more than zero.
Hence:
My mental illness won't probably get much worse and won't get better, so we can put a zero
It is 0*x then
Perspectives in life are horrible, because it will just be a disaster and even if I drop everything and start living how I want I will have severe consequences.
It is objective -2*y
The existential crisis won't disappear and likely it won't get worse, so putting 0*z
Now replacing x,y,z to 1
0*1 - 2*1 + 0*1 = -2
-2 is not greater than zero.
Hence, I have to look for tickets.
Crushed_Innocence
Hungry Ghost
- Oct 16, 2019
- 423
There are options but they are shitty and I don't want them so effectively I don't have n option.
I completely understand. Clinical depression can create very real and true, debilitating physical pain.
waterbottleman
Not a person
- Sep 30, 2019
- 721
Depends.
Could I survive? Yes quite easily.
I have a fairly comfortable life in an external sense. I have a good education, I have money, I am financially independent, I have my own place to live in a safe area, I'm physically healthy. I have a lot of things people wish they had and I am grateful for that. It's the only positive thing I can say about my life.
However I'm a broken person on the inside, I know without a shadow of a doubt that depression has completely consumed me and I know that I'll never escape that depression living a "normal" white collar middle class life.
I know I only have two options, I either have to make a radical change in my life such as moving to live in a different country that is very different from the US or I'm going to at some point kill myself.
Could I survive? Yes quite easily.
I have a fairly comfortable life in an external sense. I have a good education, I have money, I am financially independent, I have my own place to live in a safe area, I'm physically healthy. I have a lot of things people wish they had and I am grateful for that. It's the only positive thing I can say about my life.
However I'm a broken person on the inside, I know without a shadow of a doubt that depression has completely consumed me and I know that I'll never escape that depression living a "normal" white collar middle class life.
I know I only have two options, I either have to make a radical change in my life such as moving to live in a different country that is very different from the US or I'm going to at some point kill myself.
Sometimes impulsive suicides are just among the first noticings of things that could turn out to be recurring and serious problems
I wouldn't personally recommend doing anything that would make you run out of money or lose access to a peaceful means of killing yourself
waterbottleman
Not a person
- Sep 30, 2019
- 721
I already have SN and meto stashed where I live. I can ctb peacefully whenever I want to =)
Same here, I'm just saying I'm personally wary of any situation where I'd have to move somewhere and lose it
You could theoretically put it in a checked bag at the airport but even then I'd be afraid of losing it or getting in trouble for having it
I might easily eventually have to move around life but the risk of losing my SN is crippling to me
waterbottleman
Not a person
- Sep 30, 2019
- 721
If I moved to Thailand I imagine my life would be so radically different I wouldn't want to die.
Its life in the USA that to me is bleak and hopeless.
I've never been to Thailand so I couldn't say
I would just say though wherever you go though make sure you have a peaceful means of suicide with you
I did a Google search quickly and apparently Thailand has a "gun culture" so maybe you could easily buy a gun if need be to kill yourself
mpnf
Mental anguish..no more please.
- Oct 3, 2019
- 190
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