Does anyone ever get mad that their family loves them?

[l.a557]

This sounds crazy, but my family is literally the only thing holding me back from committing suicide. I'm just tired of making the same mistakes and feeling the same feelings over and over again, but I know if I do it, it'll probably destroy my family, my dad and my sister would probably commit suicide after me, I don't want that. I love them so much, but then my feelings fold in on themselves and I end up resenting them for keeping me from what I've always wanted. I always tell myself that they're selfish for wanting me alive because of their own needs and feelings, but I know that's not the case. I don't know anymore.

 

[human909]

I have a bit of understanding what you are feeling but i have almost everything dead inside of me and i just wish to die.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

This sounds crazy, but my family is literally the only thing holding me back from committing suicide. I'm just tired of making the same mistakes and feeling the same feelings over and over again, but I know if I do it, it'll probably destroy my family, my dad and my sister would probably commit suicide after me, I don't want that. I love them so much, but then my feelings fold in on themselves and I end up resenting them for keeping me from what I've always wanted. I always tell myself that they're selfish for wanting me alive because of their own needs and feelings, but I know that's not the case. I don't know anymore.

I'm not mad about it or anything, quite grateful actually. However it does make CTB very hard to even consider. I definitely know how you feel though, and I hope things get better for you

 

[kitia973]

Sometimes it's easier to die knowing that nobody will miss you and people will not have to suffer after your death.

 

[KillingPain267]

Oh yes, I can totally relate. Sometimes I even wish they would disappear, as bad as it sounds. If I was totally alone I would have drank myself to death or brain damage. So they are keeping me from total self-obliteration and I sometimes resent them for it. On the other hand, they keep me company so I can keep my mind a bit occupied from itself.

 

[cait_sith]

This sounds crazy, but my family is literally the only thing holding me back from committing suicide. I'm just tired of making the same mistakes and feeling the same feelings over and over again, but I know if I do it, it'll probably destroy my family, my dad and my sister would probably commit suicide after me, I don't want that. I love them so much, but then my feelings fold in on themselves and I end up resenting them for keeping me from what I've always wanted. I always tell myself that they're selfish for wanting me alive because of their own needs and feelings, but I know that's not the case. I don't know anymore.

all of my family is dead but I still can't do it from si and fear of failure. But I will get there I am certain.

 

[platypus77]

This sounds crazy, but my family is literally the only thing holding me back from committing suicide. I'm just tired of making the same mistakes and feeling the same feelings over and over again, but I know if I do it, it'll probably destroy my family, my dad and my sister would probably commit suicide after me, I don't want that. I love them so much, but then my feelings fold in on themselves and I end up resenting them for keeping me from what I've always wanted. I always tell myself that they're selfish for wanting me alive because of their own needs and feelings, but I know that's not the case. I don't know anymore.

I always like to say this from some reason, maybe it's my resentment against my family too.

When people like you they punish you with love.

Love is a prison and once you're chained you aren't free to anymore. You can choose to leave by breaking you side of the chains, but can not repair theirs.

 

[NonEssential]

Yes, this is sucks so much. I just wish they'd forget about me.

 

[nomoredolor]

I relate heavily.
Anna

 

[TheHolySword]

I understand why it might make some people feel that way. Personally, I'm not angry or upset about it. I'm grateful to have been able to love and be loved, and I'm guilty that I will be leaving them all like this. It would make it so much easier if I were not loved and didn't have anyone I'd be leaving behind but that's just not how my life played out, no sense in being angry at the people who love me just because they make it harder to die.

 

[divinemistress36]

I could have ctb years ago if it wasnt for parents its bittersweet

 

[OTanerd]

I understand you. This would be easier if there was no one to love me, but there are people who will love me until the end of their lives. I hope they do very well in their lives when I am gone.