I wasn't first like this when I first became suicidal but for about a year my mental health has been manifesting in ways that make me a danger to others and I literally can't control it as I don't have full control over my body at all times. It makes me even more suicidal as it feels like my only options are: jail, psych ward, suicide or living life "normally" but with a lifetime of tons of guilt weighing on my conscience. It's so depressing and makes me feel hopeless. You don't have to go into details if you don't want but I'd like to know if anyone else is like this.
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My levels of irritability and explosive rage were pretty bad throughout my teens through to my early thirties. I was/am hypersensitive so I felt slighted by the most trivial of things. I would provoke fights often with strangers if they jumped the queue or if someone did something I perceived to be inconsiderate of me. It got to a point where everytime I left the house, there was always some threat of violence/aggression from me or someone to me because of how I escalated things. I only toned it down for survival purposes, ironically. Got older and less able to hold my own against a prime 20 something year old.
Had some plans in my head to hold a few oppressive/bully bosses hostage and torture them at their addresses too. Occasionally, I do get these thoughts still...but never really about friends/partners. The power that bosses have over me and the abuse of power can hit me differently and bring about homicidal fantasies. Could I act on it? It'd take a lot but possibly.
Xi-Xi
The Next Phantom Thief (Fae/Faer)
- Nov 19, 2025
- 164
Yeah, I can relate to everything you've said...except since I've been brutal since I started being like this. I blamed other people for my situation, and I wanted them gone.
violetforever
Experienced
- Dec 24, 2025
- 270
not me, but i've known other people like this
i wanted to be there for them but i couldn't keep them in my life, it hurt too much.
OnMyLast Legs
Too many regrets
- Oct 29, 2024
- 970
I won't do it but I sometimes think of unaliving my junkie brother before myself. He's fucked, though the self awareness seems not to have hit him yet. The answer is no, I'm not a danger to anyone else.Last edited:
kuroshimi
If you're not remembered, then you never existed.
- Dec 1, 2025
- 233
Probably not a danger to anyone else now. I think during my school years I was pretty much dangerous. I had frequent breakdowns and my reaction was very impulsive, so much that everyone thought I'm crazy.No, but I was one of the "others" that someone like this was a danger to. They were still responsible for harming us, no matter how out of control it may have felt to them at the time and that is how they are remembered.Similar threads
