Does anyone else wish they could die of an illness or in an accident?

[HereUntilApril]

I've been reading a lot of suicide grief and bereavement posts on Reddit and, even though I want to be dead when April comes around, I kind of feel a little bit guilty about it. It's like I want it all to be over but I know that the people around me are going to grieve over my death a lot harder due to the circumstances of it.

 

[Kyotospade]

I would have a big excuse if I did

 

[Darkover]

yes this why i haven't been vaccinated against covid hoping to catch it and die possibly

 

[Boots2Scoots]

That's the dream for me. Just minding my own business and BAM. Out like a light. People would still mourn the loss of me but it wouldn't be filled with all the circling emotions that CTB leaves them with. Guilt is the biggest deterrent for me. I don't want anybody I'm close to stuck with that kind of grief

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand, I personally always wish and hope to not exist, it's all I could hope for, nothing no matter what would make me wish to suffer in this existence, I just want to never exist ever again, I'd prefer to cease existing as I find it the most cruel, torturous burden to exist. I'd always prefer the peace of an eternal dreamless sleep over suffering for the sake of it in this reality where there is no limit as to how much agony one can feel but of course more than anything I wish I never suffered at all, I find existing to be deeply undesirable in every way, all of this just feels like a mistake to me.

 

[FoxSauce]

Mostly yes i mean i guess its easier plus would make my family not blame themselves i couldnt bare to make them go through that.

I dont want them cause anyone any pain. Plus if i do die by an illness or accident i rather made it quick.

 

[RiverOfLife]

Absolutely. Don't have to worry about protocols or failure.

 

[MercenariesofMidgar]

I feel this SOOO hard. I am so, so guilty over who I owe my life to. I don't deserve my close family and friends and I wish I could spare them the possible grief they would feel when I ctb

 

[TheHolySword]

It feels really fucked up to think that way, but yes I do. People would still grieve but it would affect them differently. It would be easier for me. The only issue is that I wouldn't want to be in pain and usually those kinds of things involve pain and suffering. I guess this way leaves me time to prepare and write letters and draft a will at the very least.

 

[ShatteredSerenity]

It depends on what kind of accident or illness. I definitely don't want to drown. I read about an accident where an elevator car descended into a flooded basement and drowned everybody onboard, that kind of thing gives me nightmares. I also don't want to be caught in a fire and burn to death. Getting an illness that took months or years to die is also a no go for me.

I would be very appreciative of death by sudden cardiac arrest. I would also welcome a meteorite falling through my head. Heroin overdose is also classified as an accident and would be a peaceful, even euphoric death, although I'd have to actually do heroin for it to work. Asphyxiating in a room filled with nitrogen due to a leak could be a great way to go.

 

[depressed-pos]

it would be really nice to, because then it would take the "decision" and guilt out of it. i also agree it would be easier for others to cope with in the sense that it wasn't intentional or preventable

 

[Manfrotto99]

I do but then again it depends. Some accidents can be extremely painful like being burnt alive. Also I've seen others die from cancer and the pain can be very intense and drawn out, so it all depends. I envy those who die suddenly in their sleep from heart attack or stroke. I consider them the lucky ones.

 

[martinso67]

Of an accident yes and somewhat because of disease. I hoped that would happen before I reach my 30s.

But now the only thing happened is that my health did get worse. My anxiety of failing CTB is did lets me be passive.

I do but then again it depends. Some accidents can be extremely painful like being burnt alive. Also I've seen others die from cancer and the pain can be very intense and drawn out, so it all depends. I envy those who die suddenly in their sleep from heart attack or stroke. I consider them the lucky ones.

I respect your opinion. But, I don't care about the pain. I want to only know that the end is certain and I don't have to life till I am 80 years old or older like any one alse (the average man in the developed world)