Venting Does anyone else on here not able to enjoy anything in life?

[TiredKitty]

I feel the same. Recently, my last bastion in the form of video games has been something I have ceased to enjoy. I have nothing anymore. I tried to hold on, but I just can't force myself to experience joy. There's nothing left.

 

[ChildrensITV]

Enjoy anything?

I don't even DO anything anymore. Literally, I just wake up, go on my PC and just refresh this site or watch youtube. Maybe a few times per week, I will shower and go to the gym. I make myself a drink and eat. But really, I don't do anything anymore. Even videogames have lost their appeal. I can watch some movies as I am sitting here anyway. I have started driving lessons. That gives me a reason to shower and get dressed. I will get booze at the weekend, I guess. But yes, I am no more productive than my cat.

 

[ImsooDone1N]

I don't enjoy anything at all. Not a single thing. I can't wait to be dead. I live to die. Grateful I at least have a method to kill my pathetic self. i hate a lot of things, but nothing more than myself. I probably think about death every single hour I am awake. Things are getting worse, so much worse than I ever expected. I just want to die. I want to die. I fucking hate my life so much. My birthday comes up soon & I will certainly be dead by then. I have no choice. I have nothing but hatred & disgust for myself & my family. I wish I could go back in Time & kill my family. This way i would not exist. I actually want to hurt them now. This forum is becoming more & more useless each day. I just wanna die. That is it. Fuck everyone- I want nothing but death. I guess I wanna hurt my family? It's their fault I am here. This is so horrible I just need it to stop already, I can't take another min.. and not a single person cares. I don't care about anyone else then. Fuxk just let me die today. That's really all I want. Why couldn't I have chat with one of the several murderers who joined this site. I would love to be murdered. Fuck I have no luck.

 

[DarknessAndDespair]

This is probably the reality for most of us in this site.
I don't even do anything anymore, I forgot what is a hobbie. My health condition has gotten bad with a new chronic illness for which no med give any relief.
Before this, when my body was healthy, I didn't enjoy anything anyway so, I guess this is the sign signaling I must leave this hell hole sooner rather than later.
My partner thinks I will heal despite months of daily torture, I always hated the human body, is a prison of flesh, a body of errors that is meant to die anyway.
I feel anger towards this society where no assisted dying is available and ostratice individuals who don't want to play the game.
Thanks to this website I could find information and kind souls so at least I can have a good last good memory before my departure.

 

[JJMaynard97]

Yep me. I'm struggling too. It's the stuff you used to enjoy you then don't. I just wanna find peace.

 

[One day too late]

I too am unable to enjoy life. I've been dealing with depression/loneliness for a long time. I've never love and lost and it be killing me. I can't really watch anything cause everything seems to have love in it and it just aches my heart. My heart also be hurting every time I get lonely (mainly late night.) and my left arm be feeling weak from it sometimes. The only music I can really listen to sad songs. Going out be a drag cause it takes a lot of energy for me to go out, even if it is just to the store. So I'm mostly just stay home in isolation. And if I do manage to get myself out the house and be around people, it takes a lot just to maintain my composure. Now I'm just waiting for my heart to just give out on me so it'll all be over, even though I'm a bit scared. The sad thing is no one will that I die cause of loneliness. They all just think that it's cause I'm not taking care of myself and not getting enough sleep.

 

[agonysgrin]

My body and mind are failing, I literally can't enjoy anything anymore, music shows, TV, food, can't sleep without meds, but I'm still afraid to ctb but don't know how to hang on, I'm such a huge failure and I'm a bundle of anxiety, now I feel I can't work. Just totally stuck.

I guess these are common attributes to those who wish to ctb?

My anguish is immense, I know I will die early and go senile, but still fearful of ending it but feel its my only option.

Feeling terrified, so so tired and without options.

I want to take the eternal sleep soon especially since I haven't slept in a month.

But all we can do is say sorry to each other about our situations.

I'm so done my mind is making me crazy, meds not helping.

Same I don't even leave my room except the bathroom. I've been on meds since I was 12 and nothing seems to help. I'm scared of I go to a home they'd stop antipsychotics for stroke risk. It's scary getting senile, I basically am already. I don't enjoy life, I have no drive. I can't work and I wish that someone could take my body and use it for something good cuz I know I'll never get better. I hope that helps...sorry I can't tell you I feel otherwise

I've given up all the hobbies I used to enjoy. My TV is always on, but that's only because I live alone and have no one to talk to, so I need the sound, if that makes sense. Even when I watch the TV, I'm really not paying attention to it. Mostly, I just go through the motions of life. I can't think of anything I really enjoy anymore. Actually, anything I have to do is simply a chore. It's all hard.

Same I lay in bed and I just CANNOT get up. The thoughts of the day make me miserable. I usually don't make it out of bed. So why am I here...

 

[TheBroken]

I enjoy and care about nothing. Human shell.