Same, whether the thought is true or not it doesn't change how life is RIGHT NOW.
I feel you.
I understand this, it feels like an endless loop and like what's the point if it will just get worse again? But you never know what will happen, and I do hope eventually the good outweighs the bad for you.
I get that, suicide always is scary but also comforting at the same time, but recovery doesn't seem as comforting for some of us even though it's good, because it's simply unfamiliar. I am just very used to depression so to have anything else would feel strange and uncomfortable if I tried again to recover. But this isn't to bash recovery, everything has its pros and cons and I hope one day we can all feel better.
I don't know how I feel about this but it's your life, just stay safe, I hope they have good intentions, I assume you trust these men.
It's okay, I think we can all relate to this. There's a certain shame in being an adult and barely being able to function, it makes me feel pathetic. Although I have to pretend for many reasons.
how did they even agree to do this? are you sure it's a good idea? not trying to be pessimistic here but being too dependant on other people can end.. uhm... pretty bad. (cuídate mucho)
No you're right I just didn't wanna say it bc it sounded rude. Moving in with a bunch of men seems sketchy and unsafe and I know nobody here cares much about their safety or if they live or die but I am just worried they will take advantage of the original poster.
we met on twitter and we enjoy each others company, theres not much to it, i dont see how anything bad will happen to me. The chilean guy is emotionally dependent on me and does pretty much whatever i tell him to, the 3rd guy isnt much better, the drugs and cbt by gun are my idea, hes not particularly thrilled by it but he'll do it because i told him to. i consider myself lucky to have this opportunity to live a relatively comfortable life with people i love, i have no real connection to my family and no friends besides them.
EDIT: oh my god I got this notif and thought you were replying to one of my threads, now the context of my whole paragraph makes no sense LMAO sorry
we are all men and i have nothing, there isnt much to take advantage of. now, they are both bisexual, but i dont have to do anything i dont want to, im sure of this.
Alright, also I didn't mean to make it sound like all men are bad, obviously not all but you know what I meant. I'm glad you're sure you don't have to do anything you don't wanna. I hope this whole living arrangement turns out well for you.
i hope so too...im so lonely all of the time and this way i'll finally have people to hold me and comfort me and such....cant wait...
i'm sorry if i'm reading this the wrong way but it kinda seems like you're talking him into CTB and it's not something he decided on his own...? or maybe you mean that he's not "thrilled by it" because he had other methods in mind? whatever it is, i hope it goes okay for all of you, it kinda makes me anxious to involve other people in my suicide but that's just my personal pov
no no, he wants to do it as well, he has it worse than me, hes just not particularly excited to help me do it as it would sadden him, but doing it on my own accord isnt much better for the both of us, so this is the best method. neither does he have any particular method in mind.
I just did the math, I assume you're in your early 30s. Your feelings are valid either way however, 6.5% is really not a lot out of 100%. You said it's been over two years so I assume things weren't like this for the other 28 years you've been alive? I'm not here to preach that you shouldn't kill yourself but I have a perfect metaphor I might post somewhere else too bc really think about it: If you win a million dollars then lose 100k, you don't just throw out the other 900k just because you're upset you lost 100k, right? Same thing with life.
I'm not here to tell you what to do but have you tried EVERYTHING? Every mental health treatment that exists? Even ECT, or ketamine infusions, anything like that?
The other 28 years weren't so good either. I've been fixated on death and shame since I was two years old, on top of being my parents' emotional support daughter. I've been unemployed since I got my masters degree. I only got that degree so I could get a better job and make more money so I could finally move out. I can't see that in my future anymore.
TWO YEARS OLD? I'm so sorry, I didn't even know that was possible. I know how it feels to be hopeless and idk where you live but the job market where I live is shit so I can't find a job yet either. But I'm gonna keep trying, don't be ashamed of still living with your parents. So do I even though I'm an adult, society expects us to be moved out already but it's so hard without a job so I'm staying until I get enough money to leave.
Doesn't work as well when you have already lost 500k and the rest is statistically likely to be taken too. Cool analogy tho!
No, cause those treatments are generally not indicated for a personality disorder..
