Discussion Does anyone else here yearn for "true love"?

[Final Escape]

I know it's stupid but my primitive brain won't shut up about it. I hate that part of myself but nonetheless I still want to feel loved. I have never felt this love nor have I seen it anywhere. I wish I didn't feel like this but this is the thing that makes me feel lonely. At the same time it's also the thing that makes me want to stick around,false hope. How do I get rid of it?

You have to understand that most people fall out of love within 18 months of being together, so no matter how intense the attraction and love high, this wears off and the other person ends up becoming less exciting and you won't be as clouded in your judgement. Which is why it's a bad idea to marry during that initial phase where u don't see the other person as clearly as you will after being with them until this phase is over.

 

[MAIO]

I know it's stupid but my primitive brain won't shut up about it. I hate that part of myself but nonetheless I still want to feel loved. I have never felt this love nor have I seen it anywhere. I wish I didn't feel like this but this is the thing that makes me feel lonely. At the same time it's also the thing that makes me want to stick around,false hope. How do I get rid of it?

In love can sort of make you feel that way. Espically If it's a long distance relationship becuase the highs are so many higher.

 

[azucaramargo]

I know it's stupid but my primitive brain won't shut up about it. I hate that part of myself but nonetheless I still want to feel loved. I have never felt this love nor have I seen it anywhere. I wish I didn't feel like this but this is the thing that makes me feel lonely. At the same time it's also the thing that makes me want to stick around,false hope. How do I get rid of it?

I'd settle for someone pretending to love me. So, I know what you mean by yearning for true love. I think it's inspirational that your faith in love keeps you around. You will find it.

 

[TiredHorse]

I had it.
I lost it.
I cannot exist without it.
So I'm leaving.

 

[worldexploder]

True love is a joke.

 

[azucaramargo]

Yes, very much so. Maybe not so much "true love" but at the least I'd like to experience affection and intimacy and the feeling of being cared about, the feeling of being wanted. My complete failure at that, despite years of effort to try and become attractive in spite of my ugly genetics, is the number one reason I want to end my existence.

Even when I barely began puberty, I had a deep yearning for love that over the years, eventually grew into an obsession; a purpose, one might say. At the same time, I realized that I was undesirable from a young age; that there were a lot of things wrong with me. In my naivety, my once optimistic self told me that all I had to do was work on myself and improve and that would be enough to attract someone. It wasn't until years later that I realized I was wrong. The process of courtship and mating is one that is so ingrained into how we are wired; it is literally our only purpose instilled in us by nature from birth. Billions of years of evolution to refine a filtering system for reproduction. And after all that time, our filtering system is designed to make sure those of us with facial features that don't quite make the right shapes to be attractive, are eliminated from the gene pool.

I've tried distancing myself from my race, whom are seen as unattractive in western society. I got really into lifting and bodybuilding for years. I make sure my clothes fit well, are stylish, and convey a high status. I take meticulous care of my hygiene, always have deodorant and a light spray of cologne on, get a haircut every month so it always looks its best. I come from money, so I have tried to display that by getting a nice place, a nice BMW, the latest and greatest technology, etc. I've spent countless hours studying how to display confidence and act in an attractive fashion. I've forced myself to attend many social events to build up a social circle and meet girls. I learned how to be articulate and well spoken. I joined a fraternity. I've pursued lucrative careers and have done very well in school to demonstrate success and capability. I learned handyman skills because they are seen as masculine and attractive. I even forced myself to get into hobbies seen as attractive, like playing basketball and learning the guitar. If I didn't have a butt ugly face, I would be the definition of a good catch. I put forth so much effort to portray an image of a put-together, confident, well rounded, well liked, capable, attractive, man.

Imagine my disillusionment when I realized that none of that mattered and that achieving my paramount biological prerogative and life's mission was mostly determined by the arbitrary shapes my nose, cheeks, eyes, lips and jaw make. It's ironic because I think besides that, I am a pretty genetically fit specimen. My physical health has always been great, my immune system is incredible, I consider myself very intelligent, I'm athletic, am naturally strong, taller than average, I have high social awareness, etc. But none of that matters because my facial features don't make those all important aesthetically pleasing shapes. Fuck. That. Shit.

I want love so, so badly. I refuse to live an existence where I can't accomplish the only goal in life that nature has dictated, simply because the metric for attractiveness is completely fucking arbitrary randomized bullshit that I can't do jack shit to change.

I really think you might be over-reacting. You sound very attractive. Please don't talk about yourself so harshly.

 

[Crazy I]

Well i certainly want to feel true love or any kind of romantic love. Most of the time people around me view me as a person who cannot understand love, lust, and anything related to that. One of my female friend even told me that im the only male friend she could go together just two of us alone just because she felt that i'll never make a move on her whether romantically or sexually. Oh and also she told me that a lot of my female friends felt the same too. Hell my male friends always hesitate to crack a lewd joke or watch porn or discuss something like that with me around. After some time it gets really annoying and frustating y'know. Sometimes i wish that i could fell in love and be loved by somebody like a normal person.

 

[Muri]

I only yearn for temporary love in times of sadness. Someone to kiss, hug and cuddle. But anything longterm is out of the question. I always mess things up anyway.

 

[Dreamland]

I often wonder...if I finally found true love...if it might save me.

 

[lost illusions]

Love has never existed in my life so I don't know what it is and too late to find out

 

[Watson]

I know it's stupid but my primitive brain won't shut up about it. I hate that part of myself but nonetheless I still want to feel loved. I have never felt this love nor have I seen it anywhere. I wish I didn't feel like this but this is the thing that makes me feel lonely. At the same time it's also the thing that makes me want to stick around,false hope. How do I get rid of it?

I thought I did..? And I thought I felt it.. but I now know I wasn't looking for "true love" in the sense of a romantic partner or the like, but true unconditional love and acceptance of just existing.

It was only when I got a dog I felt true unconditional, non-judgmental love. The feeling of being needed and accepted for who I was, no matter how fucked up my thoughts were.. my dog never cared about the arbitrary shit and was always so happy to see me.
I have a pretty fucked up way of thinking that I often hide and with him around, I wasn't behind a facade and I wasn't thinking so fucked up.
My dog thought I was the best person in the world and ... as lame as it sounds, I found myself being the person who my dog thought I already was.
He knew without words I would do whatever I could to protect him and keep him safe.

And now realizing I couldn't save his life, protect his heart from heart disease..
well.. the soundtrack to my life is on the track where overwhelming guilt and misery is the title of the next song.
And knowing he's irreplaceable.. well, we all know how this ends.

I don't think it's primitive to want love— whether from a romantic partner, or love from a companion, or silly gradeschool love. Whatever your heart wants and yearns for, it is needed.
I feel that we as humans need love and when we are unable to attain it or if it slips from our grasp, we can't help but lose our minds.
Being deprived of it makes us.. well, you know, suicidal.

I think the issue is not yearning for a necessary, or what you might consider a "primitive", need, but more so lies in the issue with society. Society creates an idealistic false illusion of what it thinks love "should" be and confuses us all from the getgo.

So when the love we find is not the "right" kind of love and not what society deems "correct", we end up back where we started except worse— more confused than ever.

I've been grieving for my dog, and I know many might think I'm a crazy dog lady (I realize now he acted as my therapy dog unknowingly), but how did I end up here? Because so many people keep telling me it's just a fucking dog and I'll get over it— but just a fucking dog to whoever's isn't just a fucking dog to me.

Having to constantly qualify our needs, grief, and our emotions makes us all feel unwanted, uncertain and fucks with our heads.
It makes us all feel lonely and so isolated because we keep thinking what the fuck is wrong with us?

Why am I depressed over my dog?
Why do you want love?
Because we just fucking do and have every right to.

Sorry that turned into a rant. I just really wanted to say you have every right to want to find true love and every right to feel lonely; the same way you have the right to do what you will with your life and don't feel ashamed for feeling whatever you want to feel.

Oh, and how to get rid of it?
I'm sure you can guess my answer.
Get a cat. — Jk :p
Get a dog. A loveable sweet dog.

 

[BlackDragonof1989]

I can love a chicken ass when I'm high, wait I've not done that point is a lot is biology and there's no judgement in that only power when you find the right chemical cocktail to push your boat a little further but there is a divine perhaps too rambling woo woo sorry <3 But yes I believe in true love but moreso when I'm high when I'm not I'm all cynical namby pamby <3 Also divine whilst high <3

 

[EndofMyRope]

I'd settle for someone pretending to love me. So, I know what you mean by yearning for true love. I think it's inspirational that your faith in love keeps you around. You will find it.

No, someone PRETENDING to loves you SUCKS! It's a horrible feeling to know that the person who stands in front of you claiming to love you is only in it for what they can get out of you and will more than likely bail when push comes to shove.

 

[lost illusions]

No, someone PRETENDING to loves you SUCKS! It's a horrible feeling to know that the person who stands in front of you claiming to love you is only in it for what they can get out of you and will more than likely bail when push comes to shove.

Better than nothing, atleast in the short run

 

[therhydler]

I had it and lost it. And it was entirely my doing

 

[stargazer]

In the afterlife, i will find it.

 

[Tyuiop]

That's the only reason I'm not dead yet - what if my true love is just around the corner? I'm completely delusional.

 

[MsM3talGamer]

I gave up on it a long time ago after kissing too many frogs.

 

[TAW122]

Maybe when I was younger, when my hormones won't STFU and decide to fire off frequently, my stupid lizard-ass brain decides that love is necessary. However, when I gotten older, I stopped caring as much, writing off as overrated and fleeting. Sure, one of my reasons for ctb'ing is that I can't find a relationship successfully (not that I want to, but I lack the means to do so which depresses me), but I have much more reasons to ctb rather than just one.

 

[silentinbetween]

Yes! I've been obsessed with the idea of soulmates forever, and I can't help hoping that I'll find my "perfect other half" one day. I know it's useless, and every failed attempt hurts like hell, but I can't help it. It's a bittersweet fantasy for me now, but one I still can't help but indulge in.

 

[Lefty]

I do, but relationships always end. They never last for me. So I'm pretty much at a lost. I think it would be nice, but I don't see it happening for me.

 

[Nerdyartist85]

I often wonder...if I finally found true love...if it might save me.

I'm the opposite, and I apologize if I sound terrible in saying this; I have a love. He's good to me and cares for me, and that's what makes this hard for me. I know I'm a burden and I feel he doesn't see it due to conditioning (meaning he's just use to my mess of life and mental illness) I know people who didn't make it in life that had true loves.

Sometimes love isn't enough to get you through; love isn't a cure all.