Venting Does anyone else have no one?

[Crono]

My deepest desires are illegal and people like me are hated by almost the entire world despite me not wanting to cause any harm of any kind.

I will always be alone and never truly be fully happy.

I also haven't had any friends since 2017 and stopped going outside regularly in 2016.

What illegal desires do you have?

 

[Hikikomori1]

What illegal desires do you have?

I am a non-offending pedophile.

 

[AllFoxedOut]

I am a non-offending pedophile.

it takes courage to admit that. it must really be a struggle. so sorry that you suffer like that

 

[hmskms]

My deepest desires are illegal and people like me are hated by almost the entire world despite me not wanting to cause any harm of any kind.

i am guessing you are a heterosexual man

 

[Hikikomori1]

it takes courage to admit that. it must really be a struggle. so sorry that you suffer like that

Thanks.

i am guessing you are a heterosexual man

Yes.

 

[cicadafriend]

Cat, dog, and parents are about it. I also live in a super rural area, the loneliness and cabin fever combo is what's gonna kill me

 

[Ashu]

I have my wife, who is not exactly a soulmate, and no one besides her in the whole of India. Back in the West, I have a handful of friends whom I talk with by email. My father and my oldest friend back home in Canada just died, both in August, by a strange jest of fate. My social isolation is so unreally profound that I wonder how I have managed to retain as much sanity as I have.

 

[hmskms]

Yes.

i c. yeah, people are gonna hate for you that no matter what. even some people here won't be able to empathize with you. your value as a man is and always will be measured by your contribution to others. going against that will immediately put you at odds with everyone you encounter.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

My life is fairly similar. My mom is my only family around and she's moving 1,500 miles away soon. I'm still stunned at the fact she's moving that far away. How have you been able to do it, if you don't mind me asking? I had planned on ctb after my mom passed away, but that was on the condition of her living her final days here. Now that she's leaving, I feel like not waiting.

Well, for around 1-1/2 years after my last relative passed, I was extremely busy handling the estate. It's been about 2-1/2 years since my last relative (my mom) passed away. So, it will be just a year in a few months from when I finished with her estate. Then I started dealing with my own affairs, which I'm still doing, BTW. I figure when I get all of my affairs in order to my satisfaction, I'll be ready to go.

 

[beigeonagrayday]

My partner and I broke up after he wouldn't take no for an answer again if you know what I mean and now I don't have anyone left. He doesn't want to be friends either. I either have no friends or the friend I do get abuses me. People are truly evil in my opinion. I'm really lonely. Is anyone else in a similar position?

I think i have someone and then they just end up trying to pressure me into things or they air me with no explanation and only use me as their personal therapist, im so close to just giving up on people, my family isnt great either, im sick of everyone

I think i have someone and then they just end up trying to pressure me into things or they air me with no explanation and only use me as their personal therapist, im so close to just giving up on people, my family isnt great either, im sick of everyone

My mum is probably the nicest person i know, though i still wouldnt talk with her about my issues or sh, sometimes i wish i could but im just afraid to

 

[silent star]

I have no one

 

[sensenmann]

That sounds really sad. After my parents passes I will have no one.

 

[ghost44]

I have no one and stopped trying. People aren't worth it.

 

[Techef]

I have a sibling that I used to be very close to and still care about, but it's been several years since they cut off contact with me after their therapist advised them to because of "codependency issues." Otherwise, I have no other immediate family alive. I wasn't particularly close with most of my relatives, but both sides (mother/father) cut me out several years ago. Father's side resulted from infighting after my abusive grandfather died and left a hefty chunk of inheritance without any will in place. I didn't even find out about my grandfather's death until the ugly aftermath - apparently, I was legally entitled to the largest share, so was kept in the dark and finally cut out (disowned almost?) after the dust settled. I only found out because an aunt who I got along well took it upon herself to contact me one last time informing me of the final decision along with a bit little bit of cash as an "apology." I've never heard from them again, even the aunt I was close with. Mother's side - my mother was never treated for mental illness, and once full on schizophrenia set in to the point of no return she basically spent the rest of her life on the run from imaginary enemies, psych wards (with every visit leaving her worse off), and destroying the lives of those around her. Once she was done ravaging my and my sibling's life, she moved on to her siblings and their families. They would plead with me to take her in because they didn't want to deal with her while refusing my advice to contact authorities/mental health professionals. After a few years they decided I had neglected my duties to my mother (it's a cultural thing having to do with my ethnic origins), and unleashed all their anger on me and cut me off. As for my mother, she passed recently in an ugly way, homeless. Aside from family, I actually had quite a few real life friends from school and work, but we grew apart and it's been 4(?) years since the last time I was able to contact any friend and have a conversation. I had thought for sure I had close friends, but now I question whether we were really close after 4 years of isolation. I've also attended quite a few support groups and met with countless mental health professionals in the past, but stopped after 2 decades worth of trying seemed to yield very little (if no) results (and sometimes resulted in quite bad advice).

 

[Ferret77]

My partner and I broke up after he wouldn't take no for an answer again if you know what I mean and now I don't have anyone left. He doesn't want to be friends either. I either have no friends or the friend I do get abuses me. People are truly evil in my opinion. I'm really lonely. Is anyone else in a similar position?

I get exactly what you mean. I have virtually no support system. I don't have any close friends and if I finally think that I found someone, it always ends up in a bad way. All of my "best friends" in the past either bullied me, used me, betrayed me or abandoned me. I have no one to turn to anymore. I was in love with this one guy and we even dated for a while eventually....I feel ashamed to admit it, but even though he was super toxic to me, he was the only one that made me feel like I actually mattered. But now that's gone too, because in the end, I'm never good enough for anybody....
I'm sorry, you're in a similar situation. It's so difficult. If you wanna talk, you can message me...

 

[Walilamdzii]

I've been abandoned by almost everyone I considered a friend... I have one left.

 

[710]

I only have my cat, and he's almost 15. I will be devastated when he's gone. I've just accepted the fact that I will always be alone. I don't even know how to relate to other people.

 

[outrider567]

As lonely as it gets

 

[BloomingRose]

I don't have anyone I would say is a friend. And I don't think I will ever have one. Only exception is my cat and she is my best friend.

 

[spirittheyregone]

I get you, me and my ex broke up for the same reason and hes the only person I know in my area. I have my boyfriend but we never really, can spend a whole day without him getting mad at me.
No matter what my dms arw always open, esp if you wanna relax and play games or something. Not everyone is evil, just, a lot of them, a really big amount.

 

[airconditioner]

I have my mom, who somehow in her person amounts to an endless amount of people working against her. I am afraid or terrified even of surviving once she's gone. Other than her, I have 2-3 family members who I talk to and I have a small amount of companion animals to look after. I had monthly payments and occasional interactions for donations I guess. That's like a short list of people who I believe would be sincerely harmed by my absence. But most of it falls on my mom and she has been one of the only true experiences of acceptance and help from endless harm. One person is at least a safety net for social beings, but not very fair considering everyone she's had to make up for.