does anyone else get “reverse hypochondriasis”, as i like to call it?

[natthebrat]

like, i had a slight chest pain while driving the other day, and i briefly got excited, thinking i might be about to have a heart attack. but unfortunately no, it went away by the time i got home. similarly, i had bleeding followed by severe pain from my nipple for a week or so earlier this year and i felt a sudden calm, like it could be breast cancer and i wouldnt have to be in this shitty world much longer. sadly for me, it healed, seemingly just chafing from running in the rain. i just wondered if anyone else experiences things like this or if its just me

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes, a lot of pains in the body I start getting hopeful over- that they be some quick acting deadly illness. A friend does too- I imagine it's quite common when you have ideation. Like- all roads lead to suicide.

The first time I had a gallstone attack, I thought it was a heart attack- severe cramping pains in the chest. I didn't call an ambulance in the hopes I would die. Two hours later, I was very disappointed. That's the problem with natural death though- I think it can be very drawn out and, very painful. Presumably if you go to a doctor begging for pain killers, they will want to treat whatever it is. Plus- in that time, life goes on. You still have to work to earn your crust. Natural death is really impractical in a lot of ways!

I suppose the one hope it left me with was that I didn't call emergency services. I ended up having 13 attacks before I couldn't stand it anymore. SN by many accounts doesn't actually sound quite as painful as that. So, I'm hoping- if I do have the guts to use it one day, that I'll keep my resolve and die rather than call for help.

 

[depthss]

yes all the time, any time i get pain or discomfort and i dont know why, i get kind of excited. and a lot of the time i do things that are unhealthy on purpose, just to increase the chance of something bad like that happening. i make unhealthy choices on purpose, doing anything healthy makes me feel bad about myself now

 

[Calliandras]

Absolutely! Every little pain gets me excited, even headaches. But i've never had any real health problem, and I treat my body like shit, like I never exercise and eat only one meal a day. It's so ironic that my health is so good and I want to die so bad, while so many people that desperately want to live have to deal with terrible diseases.

 

[lostintheloop]

Yeah , really relate to this . Like i'll panic if someone i care about has a 'red flag' symptom and start worrying about the worst, hoping so bad it won't be.
If it's me then i'm like , oh most likely it's nothing, but would be great if it's deadly !

 

[permanently tired]

I used to sleep on my stomach and one day my heart started beating strangely, I thought it felt like it was twisting as it beat but that's not physically possible. I thought I was dying, but no. It turns out it happens when there's pressure in your chest cavity so you just have to sleep in a different position. I was "excited" though, I wanted it to be real.