Does anyone else get messaging anxiety?

[Xielian]

Does anyone else have this? I'm autistic, and I have a lot of miscommunication trauma from saying something that gets taken the wrong way or from using the wrong tone. It might also be connected to my dyslexia, but I get anxiety before sending a message to anyone or making a post. It usually takes me at least 10 minutes of rewriting and sometimes I get so anxious that I completely avoid it. Then I spiral into guilt and extreme stress, even if it's important stuff like organizing housemate things. Sometimes I just can't get what's in my head onto the page, and people think I'm ignoring them on purpose, which causes strain on my friendships.

I'm 26 years old, and I feel like a loser because of this I really do care about people I'm just afraid of hurting them by mistake .

 

[LastNite]

Me, I read what I write multiple times before sending it then I just give up on it and dont send it in the end.

 

[EternalShore]

I'm really sorry and same unfortunately~ :( people leave me and think I'm boring and such, and when I'm texting irl's I get sooo worried about them not wishing to talk to me and wishing everything looks perfect~ >_< but it just makes it even more miserable to text even tho using a phone to talk to people already sucks more than a computer anyways! :/

 

[apearl]

I'm with you on that, I have to reread messages like 10x before sending and my stomach still drops after I send it. It makes making friends really hard, I've probably lost people because of it.

I'm sure most good people understand that your not trying to be ill-intentioned if you avoid a message. You don't sound like a cruel person.

 

[cowplantabduction]

Yes, I've ended up completely ghosting people because of this :( I feel so bad for the friends I never messaged back years ago but it's too late now, I'll just look like an asshole at this point.

 

[Tigger]

Not exactly the same, but I've always had some weird fear about listening to voicemails. And I think it may seem from my anxiety around leaving them. I feel so uncomfortable listening to them, I just deleted them asap without listening.

 

[TBONTB]

Does anyone else have this? I'm autistic, and I have a lot of miscommunication trauma from saying something that gets taken the wrong way or from using the wrong tone. It might also be connected to my dyslexia, but I get anxiety before sending a message to anyone or making a post. It usually takes me at least 10 minutes of rewriting and sometimes I get so anxious that I completely avoid it. Then I spiral into guilt and extreme stress, even if it's important stuff like organizing housemate things. Sometimes I just can't get what's in my head onto the page, and people think I'm ignoring them on purpose, which causes strain on my friendships.

I'm 26 years old, and I feel like a loser because of this I really do care about people I'm just afraid of hurting them by mistake .

Have you ever considered using ai to help you write? Put in what you want to say and then polish it up for you?

normally I don't love that, but if it's not too time consuming it might really be a help for you.

 

[bees.]

I've lost all but one of my friendships because I cannot get myself to send messages. im too scared of miscommunication or a bad outcome that I simply dont communicate at all. hell I have been on this forum for years and have only posted a handful of times. You are not alone

 

[adiosToreador]

i get you }:( i have a lot trouble talking to the people i care about, and the guilt from not responding immediately builds and ends up making me feel unable to reply for weeks, sometimes. makes me think i was just never meant for long-term friendship.

 

[liquid jen]

Yes, I always second guess myself with messaging. I never know which tone to use with which people or sometimes how to respond at all, even if they're longtime friends. I often end up having to apologize 2-3 days afterwards for not responding to a message, and I feel like shit because they do mean a lot to me but it seems like I'm ignoring them. Even with this, I've reread both my response and your post to make sure it's fine.

 

[bloodfiend]

i'm totally the same way... take too long to think about what to say and i end up not responding at all. not a very good way to keep friends but it's hard to just write/respond to something without second-guessing

 

[kazatte]

i'm the same exact way. i spend hours agonizing over what to say and i feel so bad for my friends for having to deal with it. they tell me they don't mind but it's always so hard to believe that

 

[kiti0711]

Same here — I overthink texts. If I dither too long, they never get sent. My Notes are full of drafts I keep deleting and rewriting.

 

[Andarna]

Yes. Usually, when I receive a message, I find myself walking around my room a few times, trying to figure out how to respond. The problem is that the longer I think about it, the more stressed I get. Sometimes it becomes so overwhelming that I end up completely giving up on replying, which makes me feel bad and defeated by my own anxiety.

Even this post went through several versions, and I'm still not happy with it.

 

[strugglingsimba]

Yes, I always second guess myself with messaging. I never know which tone to use with which people or sometimes how to respond at all, even if they're longtime friends. I often end up having to apologize 2-3 days afterwards for not responding to a message, and I feel like shit because they do mean a lot to me but it seems like I'm ignoring them. Even with this, I've reread both my response and your post to make sure it's fine.

Me all the time, then I do it again and feel too guilty to apologize bc I did it before

 

[London2005]

all the time yeah

 

[DontCryForChimp]

I get really nervous about these things and most of the time I just erase what I had typed and move on. I just end up worrying about coming across as an idiot, or accidentally saying something insensitive or offensive, or just wondering if I even interpreted the thing I am responding to correctly. It is weird to me that I can get so stuck on something that inconsequential. Writing this reply took longer than it should have, so much time spent second guessing and staring at that blinking line ( I don't know what it is called or if there is a word for it).

 

[einsam]

Extremely relatable. Given how common anxiety and overthinking are in users here, it's not surprising so many people experience this.

 

[qwert3948]

first time i see someone talking about this. it makes me feel less weird about it, but it's really hard to explain to others that you go through something like this