I guess so. But I have a severe health issue and am completely dependent on them, so it adds an extra terror to failing (they'd probably disown me). Also a lot of their abuse is covert -- they make it seem like they're trying to help me to others -- so if/when I ctb, the narrative would be I'm the selfish ungrateful one etc
I guess so. But I have a severe health issue and am completely dependent on them, so it adds an extra terror to failing (they'd probably disown me). Also a lot of their abuse is covert -- they make it seem like they're trying to help me to others -- so if/when I ctb, the narrative would be I'm the selfish ungrateful one etc
TowerUpright
Disillusioned
- May 26, 2019
- 602
I imagine my family being sad. But one son would be devastated by me ctbing. Likely, he'd ctb later in life. I know, because he's just a little version of me.
Not a chain but I know that my parents will be depressed for the rest of their lives and that's one of the reasons that keeps me going. They gave me everything and I can't do this to them.. 
But what is inside me is eating me alive and that's the battle I fight everyday
But what is inside me is eating me alive and that's the battle I fight everyday
csidesuicide
New Member
- Nov 26, 2019
- 4
Yes. I don't think my mom could take the pain of losing me, we've always had each other. I'm also worried about my ex-partner. When I told him about my recent suicide attempt he said that if I kill myself he'd kill himself too.
noctiva
the invisible girl
- Nov 6, 2019
- 393
No. There is no one who'd be in danger of mourning or even ctb over me.
Don't get me wrong the church will be full of people that will say 'If only she had asked for help, I would have helped', but everyone attending my funeral will be the ones who have failed me in life. By now, I have literally approached everyone asking implicitly for help, followed by explicitly asking for help using the phrases 'Please help me', 'I need help' and 'I cannot help myself anymore, please save me'.
It made no difference. No one helped, no one even wants to listen anymore.
So no, no one can pretend to be surprised, no one can say they didn't know I needed help and that I wasn't going to commit suicide. And no one will ctb over my 'loss'.
I need to die for people to care and want me back, and at that point it's too late.
Don't get me wrong the church will be full of people that will say 'If only she had asked for help, I would have helped', but everyone attending my funeral will be the ones who have failed me in life. By now, I have literally approached everyone asking implicitly for help, followed by explicitly asking for help using the phrases 'Please help me', 'I need help' and 'I cannot help myself anymore, please save me'.
It made no difference. No one helped, no one even wants to listen anymore.
So no, no one can pretend to be surprised, no one can say they didn't know I needed help and that I wasn't going to commit suicide. And no one will ctb over my 'loss'.
I need to die for people to care and want me back, and at that point it's too late.
No I don't think so. It would definitely do some damage, but my family is a resilient bunch despite being extremely stress prone. I'm pretty much the only one who can't bounce back when shit gets thrown my way.
Moonicide
ᴘʜᴀꜱᴇꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴏɴ
- Nov 19, 2019
- 802
I've had my friends tell me they'd be right behind me if they lose me. So I worry about that quite a bit.
It's really rough, as the people I leave behind also battle with mental illness and have lost loved ones.
Not to suicide, but other accidents not within their control.
I've written in my goodbye letter that I hope they continue to live and I wouldn't want them to end their life due to me.
It's really rough, as the people I leave behind also battle with mental illness and have lost loved ones.
Not to suicide, but other accidents not within their control.
I've written in my goodbye letter that I hope they continue to live and I wouldn't want them to end their life due to me.
I’vehadenough
Elementalist
- Sep 15, 2018
- 847
