Discussion Does anyone else ask "why me?"

[Toybox]

I just want to ask the universe what I did to deserve this. Was I a terrible person in my past life, and now this is my punishment? I feel like I'm just a kid. It's all so harsh

Does anyone else feel this way?

 

[WillemB]

I've felt like that for weeks now. Made some really stupid life choices, lost a lot of money, shrink tells me i'm probably bipolar... too much. I'm living in hell, haven't properly slept for weeks. This must end.

 

[iftheworldwasending]

everyday.

 

[Grav]

I did as a kid but as I got older I just figured it's how it is.

 

[MiseryLovesMyCompany]

I don't have to go as far in the past, I've been terrible enough in my current life to deserve this. My only comfort is that I am suicidal at a time when there is more than enough information on accessible and relatively painless methods. Also, I am glad that a site like this with such a nice community exists.

 

[WillemB]

I don't have to go as far in the past, I've been terrible enough in my current life to deserve this. My only comfort is that I am suicidal at a time when there is more than enough information on accessible and relatively painless methods. Also, I am glad that a site like this with such a nice community exists.

What is the least painful, you think?

 

[sadworld]

I was never treated well, so I deserve nothing else.

 

[MiseryLovesMyCompany]

What is the least painful, you think?

I don't want to recommend you a method, but going through the resources page you could make your own judgement.
There was a thread of ctb methods in order of preference.
Personally, I went from partial to SN, but that's because those were accessible to me. I would gladly go out with N, but that's too much of a hassle. Gas could work, but I don't trust in my engineering capabilities enough for that. Although that was my backup in case the SN hadn't arrived. Full or long drop will always be there in a "go out asap" scenario.

I was never treated well, so I deserve nothing else.

You deserve so much better than being treated that way.

 

[Noriv159]

I feel like that too. And I don't think anyone is at fault. The system just doesn't support those who were born to change it, so I don't expect things to be easy. But just know, if you are being snowballed by life in this world, then you are doing something right...or at least you were born to.

 

[woxihuanni]

You don't have past lives and you are not special that the universe has something against you. None of us are. Good luck with that kind of thinking.

 

[bigdog]

+

 

[XYZ]

No.

Why not me?

 

[bornfree]

i have to rely on others to make me feel happy. I can't do it.

 

[funaunt]

I just want to ask the universe what I did to deserve this. Was I a terrible person in my past life, and now this is my punishment? I feel like I'm just a kid. It's all so harsh

Does anyone else feel this way?

I think the universe is just messing with me, trying to see how far it can push me before I break. It feels like almost a game to me

 

[grungeCat]

Our suffering doesn't make any sense. Saying that our suffering has a deeper meaning is irrational. We live in the world of limited resources. The stronger get some of them, the weaker (like us, the members of ss) get nothing. The healthy survive, the ill die. It's always been like that. That's why I don't want to belong to this world anymore.

 

[Pho3nix]

I've found that psychopaths get rewarded in this world while empaths get fucked over. That's my only explanation for my constant bad luck and suffering in this shitty world.

 

[Rn110bg101]

All this suffering is because I was born in this world with a corrupted soul.

 

[Ghost2211]

I don't see it as a why me kind of thing. Life is shitty for most people in the world.

 

[Good4Nothing]

All my life.

 

[OpheliasFlowers]

Yes. I was born into a dysfunctional, unhappy family and then have had shitty health since birth that's only gotten worse as I grew up. I know it's childish (or at least people have told me that it is and I can see their point when I'm not feeling super emotional) and irrational to think this way but it seems like the universe or whatever is "in charge" has had it in for me because otherwise I dont' understand why I was born to just suffer and be a burden on others for (so far) 52 years. I thought "why me?" a LOT especially when I was in my 20s and 30s and still thought there was time to find an answer to my health issues and then salvage SOMETHING of my life. Now that window is closed so while I do sometimes think "why me?" it's mostly right after another medical diagnoses or crises and is more a fleeting thought vs more a mindset/mentality like when I was younger.

 

[Marauder]

I just want to ask the universe what I did to deserve this. Was I a terrible person in my past life, and now this is my punishment? I feel like I'm just a kid. It's all so harsh

Does anyone else feel this way?

Exactly like you said. Im just wondering if we killed ourselves in past life so ctb in this life is our destiny

 

[Cursed4ever]

Throughout my Life

 

[Sensei]

Yes. There's no history of mental illness in my family, including distant relatives, whatsoever. Nevertheless, I've developed bipolar disorder. I know it's irrational, but at times it feels as if it's a punishment.

 

[epic]

I ask it everyday . The probability that I would have gotten this disease was 0.1% (I am in my early 20's). This too is a conservative figure, the actual probability is even lower (my guess is it's 0.04% ) . Which is 1 person out of every 2500 people. To make matters worse mine is progressing rapidly while most other people with my condition only worsen slowly.

 

[OpheliasFlowers]

I know it's irrational, but at times it feels as if it's a punishment.

This is how I've felt, too. Like all these bad things that have happened to me, all the physical suffering, the mental illnesses - that it's a punishment. But like you I know that's irrational thinking but I can't help it but think it. There have been times I've wanted to do or say something not so nice, or write out a comment (not on this site) in reply to someone and my reply would be maybe a smartass thing to say or even in defense towards a troll's nasty comment to me...but after I write out my reply, I'll think I might be 'punished' somehow (health related in my case. that's what I fixate on most because I have so many medical things going on) and I'll actually ERASE the comment out of fear of punishment for my actions. How screwed up is that? :(

Then I think how dumb it is to think I'm anyone special enough for the universe or God to focus on punishing for ANYTHING, let alone a stupid comment on an internet forum or whatever other silly "bad" thing I might do or say. I'm nobody. A nobody with lifelong bad luck, if anything.

I ask it everyday . The probability that I would have gotten this disease was 0.1% (I am in my early 20's). This too is a conservative figure, the actual probability is even lower (my guess is it's 0.04% ) . Which is 1 person out of every 2500 people. To make matters worse mine is progressing rapidly while most other people with my condition only worsen slowly.

I'm so sorry you have to deal with such health issues, especially at your young age. I know what it's like as my health got very bad in my mid 20s, so I totally understand how unfair it is and feels. I know I'm just a stranger on a forum but am sending you a hug anyway.

 

[greebo6]

I have asked that many times over the years .

 

[Ardesevent]

I haven't wondered that much. Life's a poker game, and some people get dealt a bad hand of cards.

 

[RottenDeer]

I never thought that. Suffering is a part of existence. Some people simply have bad luck, that's it.

 

[262653]

Nope. I think the question is useless because it doesn't bring me any closer to my death or to a life worth experiencing.

If a lot of good things would happen to you instead, would you be asking the universe: "Why you? What's the meaning of all this?"

 

[I screwed up]

I ask that question quiet often .. I made lot if wrong decisions in life and dug myself a hole I can't get of. Only way out is catch the bus