elfgyoza

elfgyoza

Cursed
Aug 5, 2019
326
I've always been overweight, even as a kid. It made me self conscious 24/7, lowered my self esteem. I finally got to a healthy weight after a depressive episode where I lost over 20kg and I enjoyed a year or so of not worrying about the fat around my stomach, how big my fucking arse is, and how I start sweating quicker than others. I landed myself in a psych ward in December for 3 months, where food was cooked for me (and too much of it), although mirtazipine might've helped with the weight gain. So now I'm over 80kg at just 161cm tall, I gained back the 20kg and then some.
I fucking hate myself, I'm disgusted everytime I look in the mirror, I'm gross
 
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elfgyoza

elfgyoza

Cursed
Aug 5, 2019
326
Not that heavy, I bench press you for reps. I'm weighing in at 95, so it could B worse.
Yeah I'm not saying I'm obese or anything, but it's noticeable enough for me haha
Healthy weight for my height is about 50-55kg
 
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Carrotcake

Carrotcake

Experienced
Nov 27, 2019
265
I've been overweight the last few years as well, but I try to tell myself that my weight is not my biggest problem at the moment. So I just try to ignore the topic, but it definitely does not help with how I feel about myself.

I can imagine it is hard to have gained it back. But at the same time, if you were able to lose the weight in the past, you might be able to do it again when you are ready for it. Although I'm not sure about the effect of mirtazipine on metabolic rate.
 
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elfgyoza

elfgyoza

Cursed
Aug 5, 2019
326
I've been overweight the last few years as well, but I try to tell myself that my weight is not my biggest problem at the moment. So I just try to ignore the topic, but it definitely does not help with how I feel about myself.

I can imagine it is hard to have gained it back. But at the same time, if you were able to lose the weight in the past, you might be able to do it again when you are ready for it. Although I'm not sure about the effect of mirtazipine on metabolic rate.
I tried as a teenager to lose weight, always hit a roadblock and fell back on comfort eating. Only reason I managed it was because I was too depressed to eat. I'm not as clinically depressed anymore thanks to meds so I actually feel hungry
 
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GenesAndEnvironment

GenesAndEnvironment

Autistic loser
Jan 26, 2021
5,739
Yeah I'm not saying I'm obese or anything, but it's noticeable enough for me haha
Healthy weight for my height is about 50-55kg
Are you lifting weights? When u gain muscle it burns fat and shit.
 
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elfgyoza

elfgyoza

Cursed
Aug 5, 2019
326
Are you lifting weights? When u gain muscle it burns fat and shit.
Haha no
I did exercise a lot but normally indoor sports, which of course I can't do anymore.
Unless you count lifting as walking under the sheer weight of my fat...
 
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GenesAndEnvironment

GenesAndEnvironment

Autistic loser
Jan 26, 2021
5,739
Haha no
I did exercise a lot but normally indoor sports, which of course I can't do anymore.
Unless you count lifting as walking under the sheer weight of my fat...
If ur heavy push-ups, lunges and stuff will be even more effective. Then you can beat up pro-lifers and defend the honour of the forum.
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
20,694
I've been overweight since I was about ten years old, before then I was actually extremely underweight and skinny. I think it was because I refused to eat the food my parents would pack for my lunch because it was gross Chinese food. I never got picked on for it or anything since I went to a private school where actually most kids were also Asian but I just wanted American food so much more. My parents were too cheap to order the school lunches so I often had to beg for other students' unfinished table scraps.

In 4th grade my parents finally caved as their marriage started falling apart and so for lunch they would drop off McDonald's. That was the start of my downfall into fathood but I don't regret it. I also found Garfield comics which further made me okay with being fat. Since then, I can't even think about exercise or diets without getting an insatiable urge to eat something deliberately unhealthy.

The only way I have been able to lose weight was by accident and that was because I had a fast food job where I actually had to do some physical labor and I barely got to eat except for one meal a day. Once I realized that though I started eating even more and sort of gained some of the weight back. The pandemic also caused me to lose some weight because I used to go out between meals sometimes to McDonald's or some other place and buy $20 worth of food then consume it all in the car. Maybe that's what I'm missing. My mom wouldn't let me do that now as long as we're all home all the time unfortunately...
 
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Gaybonez

Gaybonez

vegan jesus
Nov 30, 2020
208
I've always been overweight, even as a kid. It made me self conscious 24/7, lowered my self esteem. I finally got to a healthy weight after a depressive episode where I lost over 20kg and I enjoyed a year or so of not worrying about the fat around my stomach, how big my fucking arse is, and how I start sweating quicker than others. I landed myself in a psych ward in December for 3 months, where food was cooked for me (and too much of it), although mirtazipine might've helped with the weight gain. So now I'm over 80kg at just 161cm tall, I gained back the 20kg and then some.
I fucking hate myself, I'm disgusted everytime I look in the mirror, I'm gross
You can try to fix it. Diet is number one and then exercise
 
R

Roseate

Arcanist
Mar 24, 2021
456
I've always been overweight, even as a kid. It made me self conscious 24/7, lowered my self esteem. I finally got to a healthy weight after a depressive episode where I lost over 20kg and I enjoyed a year or so of not worrying about the fat around my stomach, how big my fucking arse is, and how I start sweating quicker than others. I landed myself in a psych ward in December for 3 months, where food was cooked for me (and too much of it), although mirtazipine might've helped with the weight gain. So now I'm over 80kg at just 161cm tall, I gained back the 20kg and then some.
I fucking hate myself, I'm disgusted everytime I look in the mirror, I'm gross
I totally get what you mean. I lost about 60 pounds, then lost my job and gained about 20 of it back. I'm just less than 20 pounds overweight but I feel so fucking fat. Like idk it's different losing weight. Like for instance, if you are 180 and you lose about 20 pounds and you're at 160, it just looks different than if you were 150 and gained 10 pounds and are now 160. But honestly you did it once, you can definitely do again. Start small. Add more vegetables to your meals. You can definitely do it.
 

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