Discussion Does anybody in your life support your plans?

[Throwmyselfaway]

Nope not a single person. Well people on here. My wife doesn't seem to notice something is wrong. She thinks I'm just physically ill. I have been sick lately. I don't keep anything down. She took me to the doc for that and the Er. Oddly no one asked anything specific like an I do this on purpose and is anything bothering you.

 

[Nnana]

My brother is also suicidal. Actually more than me. We often talk about suicide and methods and respect each other choice after all. The sad thing is that my mom only has us 2 kids and if we go she's gonna be alone.

 

[angie]

My fiance knows I wanna die. She doesn't really like to think about it. But she listens to me allot about it and supports me allot in life

My partner supports my decision wholly they agree it's cruel to make people carry on through terminal illness and debilitating illnesses , they agree law needs to change .

No, whenever i say that I want to die, the only replies are - you're selfish, you're a coward, you're not even trying blabla.

But honestly, I've gotten to a point where i don't care

My son is like that , but i just say there selfish wanting me to carry on suffering . As i always say it's not my friends or family i want to leave , i don't want to leave them , but i desperately want to exit out this illness . i have virtually no life at all . it's a waiting game , that's no fun whatsoever . If i don't ctb i'll die struggling and gasping for air it's guaranteed that's how my end will be . why would others want people to go through that !! because they are thinking of there own feelings that's why there selfish .

 

[lostdog]

No one.

 

[gothfairy]

one of my friends recognizes he can't change my mind so he lets me talk about it to him without trying to convince me to not do it, so that's pretty good

 

[garcelle]

even my suicidal friends dont accept my plan!

 

[Polly]

One person in my life understands why I am planning this. (Will not name him for mutual safety.). I know he will be sad. But he also knows why.

it's given me the same comfort that being here has.

 

[Deleted member 1768]

Yes...quite a few actually.

 

[Dwnwrdsprl]

Definitely not, that's why I am here on SS. I tried to explain things to my boyfriend after a failed attempt and it didn't go well.

 

[Grandexit]

No, my shrink (ex shrink?) gives me empty platitudes. My mother changed the subject and suggested we go on holiday, like I was a bratty kid having a temper tantrum. The one friend I told had a fit about it and never bothered to find out why I am making these plans, just insisted that I don't do it. So nope, no real support, just other people projecting their ideas/ wants onto me. Again, I'm not even the star of my own life or death.

 

[aloneintheworld]

I don't talk about it but my mom ignored my suicidal thoughts over the summer and told me it was my choice before she cut me off and disowned me. My family wouldn't care I'm too much of a burden it would be a relief to them my friends may be more hurt though. Either way I try to not talk about it other than I'm really struggling I'll say

 

[squirtsoda]

Absolutely not, and it hurts so much because so many people care about me. I kind of wish they didn't, and I know that makes me look like a piece of crap to the people who think/don't have anyone who cares about them.

 

[Broken Chimera]

They don't know, and I'm not telling them. I rather avoid the whole "You're gonna burn in hell" and other pro-life fear mongering nonsense.

Nope, absolutely not. My best friend will listen. He knows, like basically everything. But he also does things to try and stop me horrible attempt at it lol.

Seriously though, actual conversation I had with him:
me: My plans!
him: no
m: but... my plans...my perfect plans
h: NO
m: but.
h: no no no!!!
m: my plans though
h: NO!

An actual conversation. And I'm not joking.... it's happened like 5-10 times this past week.

Lol.

 

[MysticPerception]

After a conversation I had briefly with my boyfriend today I'm starting to think he would actually understand and support my decision. He was saying some odd things and was making it sound like he was ready to die himself and it would be fine if it was us together at the same time but I'm not sure. Not really willing to bet on that though even if I love him that's too dangerous to chance checking for sure. Otherwise nope not a single soul. No reason they would when they think it's okay to suffer for your entire life just because. Who needs a reason? Just keep living don't worry about it. Deal with everything one step at a time. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. That kind of thing. What they'll never understand is that I intend to die before crossing some pointless bridges that will only cause me pain.

 

[purplemoon]

Hello there,

No one in the world who knows me got an idea about my desire to die, and the thing is I am so ashamed to let anyone know I want to die. It's just too hard for me to communicate with someone who knows me about it. Too shy for psychologist. But still looking for someone over the internet to talk to.

Love,
Last Caress.

Shrinks are usually a waste of time & money... You could achieve the same temporary results with chocolate, which will taste more delicious than the shrink.

No and I'm not going to tell them or give any clues. No notes, no giving things away, no cryptic statements, no personality changes (I got very quiet and peaceful last time bc I'd made a decision and I felt good about it)
My husband watches me like a hawk and I think he's caught on something is going on again. I'm getting texts from him edging around the subject.
He will call someone on me. Says he'd rather have me alive and mad at him than gone.

I would just completely throw him off track and have a big sappy conversation with him saying how you can't believe how ridiculous you were even thinking such awful things, and that you're actually going to go out of your way now to be a pro-lifer yourself...and then go ahead and do whatever the heck you want.

That's how I would do it anyway...

 

[truthseeker]

I wish I had someone to tell. I think about it a lot. I'm not willing to take the chance that it could blow up in my face though.

 

[k75]

No, but I've barely told anyone. My best friend knows I am suicidal, but not that I have plans. He will do anything to keep me safe. But he is anti-hospital and would never report me. He's talked me out of voluntarily admitting myself a few times. I can trust him and tell him anything I'm feeling.

My little sister also knows, but not about plans. She's been amazingly cool about the whole thing. But I'm not sure if she would call anyone of she knew I was going to do it. I suspect she would, because she cares about me and kind of idolizes me. But she has kept my secret and I've been able to talk to her about stuff.

 

[homebound]

I had one person in my life who was understanding. He too is suicidal. He's schizophrenic and has been suffering mentally for a long time. We would talk about how unfair it is for people to label us as selfish and to not understand why we wanted to make this decision. We supported each other's plans. Back in early October though he had a psychotic break and attempted. He was institutionalized for a while (he got out just before Christmas). They put him through ECT since nothing has been working for him and after returning home he hasn't been the same. His memories are a mess and he is very distant to everyone. We don't talk much anymore, but it hurts to know I'll never find someone like him again.