Does anybody have this weird feeling ??

[cscott]

That you are in this human body but you no longer feel human at all.

Like eating makes me feel sick even if I feel hungry and feel like I need to eat.. EVERYTHING feels like a chore .. just walking alone does ..

Doing the basics things like showering feel weird & sometimes I just about do it .. like this body isn't even me anymore.. I have no sense of identity.. I feel completely in another reality even though I appear to be on earth.. and it's a mind fuck..


I am so sick of life words can't even express this. Somedays I feel riddled with fear today I feel very calm but I ac hate the calmness in a way cause the fear and pain of life is what pushes me more to ctb.. It's a sickly paradox

I really feel like I'm in a lucid dream .. a nightmare should I say.. I'm disconnected from everything nothing feels real for me anymore even though at the same time it feels real, especially being in this body at times…

I long for death I can't even cry anymore .. this life really is the saddest thing I've ever known

 

[sserafim]

That you are in this human body but you no longer feel human at all.

Like eating makes me feel sick even if I feel hungry and feel like I need to eat.. EVERYTHING feels like a chore .. just walking alone does ..

Doing the basics things like showering feel weird & sometimes I just about do it .. like this body isn't even me anymore.. I have no sense of identity.. I feel completely in another reality even though I appear to be on earth.. and it's a mind fuck..


I am so sick of life words can't even express this. Somedays I feel riddled with fear today I feel very calm but I ac hate the calmness in a way cause the fear and pain of life is what pushes me more to ctb.. It's a sickly paradox

I really feel like I'm in a lucid dream .. a nightmare should I say.. I'm disconnected from everything nothing feels real for me anymore even though at the same time it feels real, especially being in this body at times…

I long for death I can't even cry anymore .. this life really is the saddest thing I've ever known

Same, but I've never felt like a human being in the first place.

I totally understand, every day feels like a chore for me as well. I hate the mundaneness of existence. I hate having to do these little things just to simply exist. Existence is already so hard, and for no good reason.

Btw, I remember feeling really dissociated when my college first went back to in-person classes. Even though I was there in the classroom, I didn't physically feel present. Nothing felt real, and it felt like I was in a dream. I think I was in a state of derealization. I'm not sure how my dissociation went away, I think I just got used to being back in-person over time.

Maybe you're having this problem? I hope that things resolve for you and get better.

 

[cscott]

Same, but I've never felt like a human being in the first place.

I totally understand, every day feels like a chore for me as well. I hate the mundaneness of existence. I hate having to do these little things just to simply exist. Existence is already so hard, and for no good reason.

Btw, I remember feeling really dissociated when my college first went back to in-person classes. Even though I was there in the classroom, I didn't physically feel present. Nothing felt real, and it felt like I was in a dream. I think I was in a state of derealization. I'm not sure how my dissociation went away, I think I just got used to being back in-person over time.

Maybe you're having this problem? I hope that things resolve for you and get better.

No yea I've had the feeling I was never human to begin with and that's always lingered but I'm also aware I got very locked into this experience like the (matrix) if u will ..feels very real .. I could know I'm a conscious being but still in a human body feeling shit like having to go toliet.. si even if just fear(false evidence appearing real) feels very ducking real!!! To the point ur at the edge of cliff so close to freedom an u feel weak beyond belief.

I've always hated exsistence in terms of the repetitive cycle, the working just to survive. The having to eat or you starve.. I feel u on everything .. I thought I could get free being happy and grateful & take myself abroad or not work & etc .. but I realise this whole earth existence is a matrix not just the system ..

I have always kind of experienced too the boredom but with human distractions the ones I enjoyed have blocked it out but now I have no more human distractions this feeling eats me alive and know the only way out is death.

It's not just a moment of depression. I genuinely can't feel anymore, I am the walking dead. I hope freedom reaches us soon

 

[Baron]

I don't get that feeling, that I am not human. I am a human and that's why I feel like a human. But I don't feel like an ordinary human. I destroyed myself, my body, my soul. I had everything and threw it away. One could say I already killed my motivation to live. Now I need to get the motivation to ctb. It's hard, I already spent countless nights crying like this night and there will be more to come. The stress builds up and I hate it. This feeling of "I have to ctb now" doesn't ever stop. I don't understand why I still do anything at all.

 

[cscott]

I don't get that feeling, that I am not human. I am a human and that's why I feel like a human. But I don't feel like an ordinary human. I destroyed myself, my body, my soul. I had everything and threw it away. One could say I already killed my motivation to live. Now I need to get the motivation to ctb. It's hard, I already spent countless nights crying like this night and there will be more to come. The stress builds up and I hate it. This feeling of "I have to ctb now" doesn't ever stop. I don't understand why I still do anything at all.

Yh it's tough because even if u don't fully get what I say about not being human I very much experience duality of being one & very much feeling it but then feeling what I also explained.

I feel your pain trust me. It's like a mental hell that doesn't ever seem to go & there's not much I can say other than hopefully this ends for us very soon. I feel it's the human race self destructing. Cause no matter how much beauty there seems to be in this world or other people who seem to have a great life most of it is spent with suffering & extreme pain in many ways. Just know that nothing last forever