I'm agnostic, I guess.
I get sick of people, particularly the "Love and Light" types, telling me that if I'm 'more positive', the 'universe' will deliver what I want and my life will get better. I'm actually, generally, the kind of person who gets others smiling and my friends say I'm fun to be around. I was recently told by a friend that I'm the kindest and most honest person they've ever met. I'm there for others when they need me. How much more fkn upbeat do I need to be, to be able to find a safer home in another location where my fkn stalker can't find me? I'm allowed to be frightened of him, it's a normal human response. Love and light or placing crystals around my property will not make the stalker fuck off. My friends can see what it's doing to my mental health being followed and tracked by this arsehole. That prick has tortured me for 9 fkn years. No amount of whatever the fuck these 'be more positive' and 'love and light' types are on, is about to make that arsehole disappear.
I have told one to 'put down the crack pipe', being flippant, when they honestly have believed that some higher being was going to solve all my problems. That sort of mindset, I feel, completely minimises victims of abuse. They didn't attract beatings or sexual abuse because they weren't being 'positive' enough. That happened to them because someone chose to do that to them. It places blame on the victim which is completely wrong.
I'm all for freedom of religion and philosophy. If someone finds comfort in their belief system and it makes them feel good, good for them. I just can't see how some supposedly loving, higher being can sit back and allow small children to be abused. Even if they've prayed to said higher power to make it stop and higher power still allows the abuse to continue.
And, this will probably get me roasted, but the problem I have with Christianity is that some old dude in a robe, fkd a young woman without her consent and got her pregnant, calling it a miracle. There are temples and churches everywhere dedicated to celebrating this non consensual sex, which is, and let's call a spade a spade, rape. Or, Jesus is also god, which gives off lots of incest vibes. Then, women are lower than men and should accept this or they are disobedient.
I have Jewish, Catholic, C of E (which I think is called Anglican now), Mormon, Buddhist, Spiritualist, etc, ancestry. I don't subscribe to any of it. I don't mind if others do, as I've said, it's just not for me. If there is a higher power, they've done SFA to help me. I desperately want to move away and don't want to be stuck here for another 10 years being tortured by some prick who won't accept that I don't want to, and will never want to, have a relationship with him. If there is a higher power, they're certainly getting their jollies out of my life.
