Silent_cries

Silent_cries

I wish I could delete my trauma...
Aug 10, 2021
1,343
I'm a slow person. It always takes me rly long to do things. My brain just isn't as fast as a nt's plus I have consentration issues witch is also common with autism I think. I always try my best to be quicker when doing things like showering and grocery shopping but still end up causing everybody around me to have to wait for me no matter how hard I try. I've always been slow. When I was in school I had to leave gym early to go shower and change so I wouldn't get late for our next class because I was that slow and I was often late for gym for the same reasons. It makes me feel hopeless and like I'm an irresponsible and hopeless adult. I want to be able to do better, but it's hard when my brain just won't work any faster. I take a lot longer to proccess things and remembering the order I'm supposed to do things than nt's. I hate always being "the snail", yet there is nothing I can do about it. Anybody else struggle with this? Does anybody know if there are any ways to get better at doing things fast? Perhaps there is a way to teach my brain to proccess and memorize quicker? I just don't want to be this sluggish and useless anymore :(

Tl.dr:
I feel useless and hopeless for being a slow person due to my autism and thus (in my case at least, ik everyone is different) having a slow brain and poor consentration, anybody relate?
 
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mango-meridian

mango-meridian

Student
Apr 5, 2024
118
Yeah I'm autistic (high functioning) I think I relate to what you're describing. In my own head I always described it as some kind of "lethargy" that pervaded my everyday life. When I tried to describe this to therapists they had no idea what I was talking about. :(

If I'm understanding you correctly, it's the mental side of doing things that takes a long time, not walking or motor skills, etc. It's the same for me too.

Anyway, I feel like at least in my case this "lethargy" is caused by two smaller problems:

1) Daydreaming and gazing off into space too easily and too often. This can happen almost anywhere, but it usually happens at home or anywhere I'm comfortable, such as the shower, bathroom, bedroom, kitchen, etc. I will be in the middle of doing something, then a thought takes me somewhere, then anywhere from 10-30 minutes have passed and I have been standing/sitting doing absolutely nothing, just staring into space. It makes getting up in the morning, getting ready for bed, or going anywhere take FOREVER.

2) Getting confused and lost in details while trying to do things, unsure of what I need to do or the order I should do them in. This can hit me in a lot of places, but it hits the worst whenever there's a task where things need to be done in a specific order. A prime example is cooking, which is why I avoid it. I get jumbled so easily.

With the first issue, I'm honestly still trying to find some kind of solution. I've been trying to notice whenever I get into this daydreamy state, then gently remind myself that I don't need to worry about it or plan/think obsessively when I'm in the middle of trying to do something else. I even allow myself to make a note in my phone to think about it later so that part of me doesn't get upset at having its train of thought shut off. Sometimes I revisit the train of thought if it's really interesting but sometimes I don't.

With the second issue I found that planning my day helps. Both in the morning and the evening I plan what the day (or next day) will have for me. This gets my brain primed for those things and for whatever reason makes doing it more easy. Sometimes, I even do this in the middle of the day for what I have to do the rest of the day. Another thing I found that helps me is just trying to have a clear mind in the moments where I need it. (I know that sounds dumb, let me try to explain.) I found that a lot of the times when I'm feeling jumbled, it's because I'm not able to be 100% with whatever I'm trying to do. My mind is thinking 40% about an unrelated thing and then another 30% about a different unrelated thing, so my brain is trying to make do with the remaining 30%. A lot of the time this can feel like nothing more than an uncomfortable "nagging" when I'm trying to get something done. I usually have to "deal" with those unrelated things in some way to clear them out of my head, resolve them or compartmentalize them. Then I'm able to do what I'm trying to do better. The problem is "dealing" with the "nagging" can take time (sometimes more than 10 minutes) so in reality I can't always do it.

Another thing that came to mind as I was writing this is that if you have OCD, that definitely comes into play. If you ask anyone who knows someone with bad OCD, they will say that people with OCD have a hard time getting out the door to go anywhere. They also have problems with everyday things because they feel like everything has to be done in a very specific way. I have some OCD symptoms and it also contributes to me being slow about so many things.
 
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Spreadingmywings

Spreadingmywings

Experienced
May 22, 2019
258
didn't read to be honest i am feeling a bit overwhelmed right now. But what do you think of Messi and do you think he has autism and what are your thoughts on memes about AD?

Autumn
IMG 7706

 
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nomoredolor

nomoredolor

Student
Sep 7, 2024
124
I'm a slow person. It always takes me rly long to do things. My brain just isn't as fast as a nt's plus I have consentration issues witch is also common with autism I think. I always try my best to be quicker when doing things like showering and grocery shopping but still end up causing everybody around me to have to wait for me no matter how hard I try. I've always been slow. When I was in school I had to leave gym early to go shower and change so I wouldn't get late for our next class because I was that slow and I was often late for gym for the same reasons. It makes me feel hopeless and like I'm an irresponsible and hopeless adult. I want to be able to do better, but it's hard when my brain just won't work any faster. I take a lot longer to proccess things and remembering the order I'm supposed to do things than nt's. I hate always being "the snail", yet there is nothing I can do about it. Anybody else struggle with this? Does anybody know if there are any ways to get better at doing things fast? Perhaps there is a way to teach my brain to proccess and memorize quicker? I just don't want to be this sluggish and useless anymore :(

Tl.dr:
I feel useless and hopeless for being a slow person due to my autism and thus (in my case at least, ik everyone is different) having a slow brain and poor consentration, anybody relate?
I relate to this so hard. I've always felt behind. I wake up in the morning and feel behind. My counselor encourages me to "go at my own pace." But that's easier said than done when our society places all of the value in productivity. And I'm always the slow one.

And ofc I was able to mask just enough to appear NT so no ones believes im autistic despite the official diagnosis. It's all incredibly demoralizing. Sending you hugs and love
 
ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
4,834
Realistically speaking, yeah, I am slow at being able to do things and I suck at concentrating due to my autism but I don't hate myself or feel useless for it since I never wanted to be useful in the first place. I just want to be dead and nothing more
 
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alienfreak

alienfreak

nobody
Sep 25, 2024
216
Yeah I'm autistic (high functioning) I think I relate to what you're describing. In my own head I always described it as some kind of "lethargy" that pervaded my everyday life. When I tried to describe this to therapists they had no idea what I was talking about. :(

If I'm understanding you correctly, it's the mental side of doing things that takes a long time, not walking or motor skills, etc. It's the same for me too.

Anyway, I feel like at least in my case this "lethargy" is caused by two smaller problems:

1) Daydreaming and gazing off into space too easily and too often. This can happen almost anywhere, but it usually happens at home or anywhere I'm comfortable, such as the shower, bathroom, bedroom, kitchen, etc. I will be in the middle of doing something, then a thought takes me somewhere, then anywhere from 10-30 minutes have passed and I have been standing/sitting doing absolutely nothing, just staring into space. It makes getting up in the morning, getting ready for bed, or going anywhere take FOREVER.

2) Getting confused and lost in details while trying to do things, unsure of what I need to do or the order I should do them in. This can hit me in a lot of places, but it hits the worst whenever there's a task where things need to be done in a specific order. A prime example is cooking, which is why I avoid it. I get jumbled so easily.

With the first issue, I'm honestly still trying to find some kind of solution. I've been trying to notice whenever I get into this daydreamy state, then gently remind myself that I don't need to worry about it or plan/think obsessively when I'm in the middle of trying to do something else. I even allow myself to make a note in my phone to think about it later so that part of me doesn't get upset at having its train of thought shut off. Sometimes I revisit the train of thought if it's really interesting but sometimes I don't.

With the second issue I found that planning my day helps. Both in the morning and the evening I plan what the day (or next day) will have for me. This gets my brain primed for those things and for whatever reason makes doing it more easy. Sometimes, I even do this in the middle of the day for what I have to do the rest of the day. Another thing I found that helps me is just trying to have a clear mind in the moments where I need it. (I know that sounds dumb, let me try to explain.) I found that a lot of the times when I'm feeling jumbled, it's because I'm not able to be 100% with whatever I'm trying to do. My mind is thinking 40% about an unrelated thing and then another 30% about a different unrelated thing, so my brain is trying to make do with the remaining 30%. A lot of the time this can feel like nothing more than an uncomfortable "nagging" when I'm trying to get something done. I usually have to "deal" with those unrelated things in some way to clear them out of my head, resolve them or compartmentalize them. Then I'm able to do what I'm trying to do better. The problem is "dealing" with the "nagging" can take time (sometimes more than 10 minutes) so in reality I can't always do it.

Another thing that came to mind as I was writing this is that if you have OCD, that definitely comes into play. If you ask anyone who knows someone with bad OCD, they will say that people with OCD have a hard time getting out the door to go anywhere. They also have problems with everyday things because they feel like everything has to be done in a very specific way. I have some OCD symptoms and it also contributes to me being slow about so many things.
All of this is 100% exactly what i am like too, you expressed it better than i even understood it myself
 
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skyflame

skyflame

Member
Oct 1, 2024
51
I'm autistic too and I always feel way behind everyone else. Trying to live in a world that is not made for you and doesn't understand you fucking sucks. Even MH professionals don't get it and you end up having to help them instead of the other way around, it's exhausting.
Sending you all hugs. Feel free to pm me any time <3
 
_next.next213

_next.next213

second for affection
Oct 21, 2024
13
Yes, all the time. I feel like a snail.
 
Warlord's Pulse

Warlord's Pulse

Time to end this endless war
May 27, 2024
83
Every now and then I read a topic like this where I can relate 100%. There's not even much I can add. It sucks, really. No one can give pragmatical solutions or even amends, more likely because there's nothing we can do, sadly
 
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Ironborn

Ironborn

Specialist
Jan 29, 2024
378
For me it's overthinking, even the simplest of tasks results in my mind snorting a paragraph of cocaine and going over every possible outcome/permutation and how many ways a situation can go wrong until in the end I just give it up as a bad job and do nothing at all.
It's a special kind of hell haha.
 
nattys5thtoenail

nattys5thtoenail

goofball
Oct 6, 2024
167
Definitely and it's literally the core reason as to why I want to kill myself.

Life is hard, but it's harder if you lack charisma and intelligence.
 
M

mars_b4rz

Member
Mar 2, 2023
64
You just have to do everything you can to offset the inherent disadvantage you're equipped with
 
N

NoPoint2Life

Why is this so hard?
Aug 31, 2024
277
Another thing that came to mind as I was writing this is that if you have OCD, that definitely comes into play. If you ask anyone who knows someone with bad OCD, they will say that people with OCD have a hard time getting out the door to go anywhere. They also have problems with everyday things because they feel like everything has to be done in a very specific way. I have some OCD symptoms and it also contributes to me being slow about so many things.
Thank you for saying that. I am not autistic, but I do have OCD and when it was at its most severe, it took me forever to do absolutely everything. It still takes me longer than it should.
 

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