Does any one here ever fantasize about dying?

[Braindead Atheist]

my fantasy is that I take enough pills and my nose starts bleeding perfusly and as I'm dying my mom finds me but its to late, because I've lost too much blood and no one can save me. Then I get to say good bye to my favorite people and as I'm dying my favorite parts of life flash before my eyes as real as can be. then I have an out of body experience and rise above my body and explore my childhood school and i end up being wrong about god not existing and I get accepted into "heaven" because of all that ive been through and my favorite uncle and friend who died are there. And its perfect and nothings wrong.

but i know theres nothing after death and this would never happen for me. Like EVER.

 

[summers]

Idk if it's fantasizing, I usually imagine sitting outside at night. It's a clear, beautiful night, maybe on the beach, or somewhere I can hear the waves. I'm pretty sure I'm using a shotgun to ctb, but when I imagine it, I always use a handgun.

That's the end of it for me. I don't imagine any afterlife, or anything after that. I don't even think of the sound - I don't think I would hear anything. It's like a light switch, just move my finger, and lights out.

 

[whywere]

YES, now I will state for the record that some consider me different, but after dying then I can go onto the next place and leave this less than great world behind with all the greed, ego, self-centered jerks who are turning this rotating rock into the few haves and the rest.
Walter

 

[CuriousAboutThis]

Hm fantasize about dying well more like think about dying but I guess in a weird way I do fantasize about dying like shooting myself in the gut multiple times to reach that critical point of blood loss to pass out and hopefully don't wake up in the hospital and sometimes when I was younger I would think that at some point I will be dead and won't have to suffer myself and or the world and some of its inhabitants but I guess it depends on what happens in my life and whether or not I want to continue it but so far I want to live despite knowing the fact that one day or night or whatever time period I will be able to have hopefully a peaceful death and my life will fade away.

 

[Apricity]

I feel that way every single day. I want my wife to know i died missing her.

 

[suisuiforum]

I've thought about how my CTB method would actually entail countless times, picturing myself completing the final tasks like acquiring the SN, meto, etc. then finding a suitable place to follow the regimen and ingest the substances, maybe with or without a note. Better yet, I've thought about what it's like to simply fall asleep and never wake up without having to do anything at all. It always brings great comfort because I know that I have a way out of this hell of a consciousness somehow.

 

[K-On]

I just wish to have a gun.

 

[summers]

I just wish to have a gun.

Are you in the US?

 

[bunnies]

i do a lot. not really about a method but just the end of my existence. i think about complete darkness and nothingness forever. it's the only thing that can relax me at times

 

[newave3]

Definition of fantasize: to conceive fanciful or extravagant notions, ideas, suppositions, or the like (often followed by about.)
By that definition, I believe everyone on this site has fantasized about dying. I certainly have.

 

[Deepjoy]

Daily

 

[ClairyFairy]

They're not fantasies but I have obtrusive thoughts and I see myself doing it. Sometimes I feel like I'm hanging my neck feels weird like I'm really doing it and I see myself on the tree, or rafters or whatever is high where I am

 

[LittleJem]

Every day, particularly in the mornings. Yesterday I was fantasising about shooting myself. Today it's strangulation.

 

[A_miStake_of_NATURE]

I wouldn't call it "fantasizing", but I've been imagining and thinking about it. I took SN, something stupid is on tv. I'm lying in my bed, nails and lips have gotten blue. My skin is even paler. I'm finally dead and at peace….
I'm free from all the pain.

 

[Tomoko]

I used to fantasize about traumatizing someone I know who treated me poorly by having them find me after an overdose. These days I'm much more sensible and just want an escape so I don't really fantasize anymore. Just planning.

 

[Lostandlooking]

This is not a pretty fantasy, I'm aware of that. I have a lot of anger inside me and I probably wouldn't do this in real life. Would probably just do it at home in my bed. But I fantasize about committing suicide at a workplace. I'm currently not working, but I fantasize about different places I worked at where circumstances and people finally caused me to break down. Happened several times at different jobs. So I fantasize about working again and things start to fall apart again. And again I'm unable to keep myself safe. And then I decide to bring SN to work and lock myself in a room or a restroom and drink the SN. I try to imagine the best time and place to do it so that no-one would find me in time. And I think about effective ways to block the door. Doing it this way I'm hoping I would hurt the people I worked with and who hurt me. In reality though people would not consider if they were in part responsible for my suffering, even in this scenario. So I wouldn't do this. Probably I would just traumatize an innoccent worker like a janitor or something. And I wouldn't want that.

 

[NasiGoreng]

I dont really fantasize about it I just want to be gone. I do dream about it from time to time and its usually horrible.

 

[Braindead Atheist]

i do a lot. not really about a method but just the end of my existence. i think about complete darkness and nothingness forever. it's the only thing that can relax me at times

I too believe there is nothing after, but i wish there was something nice

 

[FuneralCry]

I fantasize about falling asleep and never waking again. No more consciousness, no more thoughts, feelings, experiences, freedom from this life. These thoughts are the one thing that comforts me. Whenever I am struggling with life and I become overwhelmed, that is what I think of. I do not want to go through the dying process though, I just want to disappear. However, to me, most methods are unpleasant and there is the SI, so I tend to fantasise more about being gone from the world rather than attempting to use a method.

 

[deadverysoon]

I just wish to have a gun.

know what you mean... quick and safe...