Do you worry who will take care of your parents once you die?

[hunter_lewis]

To those leaving elderly parents behind that you are close to,
Do you worry about them?
is there a way to make sure they are well taken care of? Finances etc aren't the problem but they might need someone to help them manage in a few years

 

[Escaper Boy]

I have 3 siblings. They will take care of my mother. Thankfully I don't have to worry about this issue. I feel kinda sad for anyone who are struggling with this problem. Leaving elderly parents behind is not an easy task due to the guilt, feeling of responsibility, etc.

 

[hunter_lewis]

yes, you are very lucky. I have only a small family and only one sibling who lives on another continent-they would have to organize the care long distance, or something like that. The problem is that my condition is very painful and I will probably not make it another 25 years which is the time where I expect the parents will have to go into a nursing home.

 

[Alchemist]

Not really, that''s obviously the only reason they keep me around. My aunt just want me to be her slave just like she was for her mother and her aunt.

 

[toolateforme]

all the fucking time

 

[Fish Face]

Nope, because they are shit.

 

[Mircea]

I do. Sadly there simply isn't much I can do about it. And I'll only make the rest of my life here worse if I keep thinking about something I just can't solve.

 

[memento_mori]

I do feel bad about leaving my parents as I'm an only child
but the alternative is being stuck here in misery

 

[WOODESITY]

my sister hopefully will take care of my mother, she's very caring and I'm zero compared to her, I guess I don't care about my father at all (I just miss him), I worry about my mother because she's suicidal too and I believe she has mental illness, I wish she never finds out when i off myself because I'm sure it'll be very hard for her

 

[Empty Smile]

I have 4 siblings. One of them will take care of mom.

 

[Kaladin]

yes, a lot actually, since my parents are divorced and my father didn't marry again (my mother did), and I'm an only child. There's nothing I can do tho.

 

[StillWaiting]

I do because my parents brainwashed me to think that it is a must for children to take care of them when they get old

 

[JadedGray]

A little, but my parents are in better shape (physically and mentally) than me. Both of my parents have a history of depression and suicidal ideation/attempts, but they both have accepted that eventually I will be successful, since I've had so many attempts. It won't be a surprise to them. They take care of me more than I take care of them, so it won't be an adjustment.

 

[Funkbunny]

Thankfully I won't have to face that. I nursed dad u til he died, and I'm doing the same now for mum. When she goes, I follow.

 

[Oppenheimer]

I Worry a lot, mostly with my mother who has depression, my father would be OK I guess. Although I have a sister who would surely help them, I would definitely make a difference. that´s why I still haven´t ctb. I´m waiting for them go first.

 

[Deadgirl]

That's my brother's job!

 

[snowman626]

yes. I think I'll leave behind some SN or N for them so if they get to the point where they're too old to take care of themselves and I'm not here they'd have the choice to CTB just like I will do. If they choose to not CTB well then that's their choice and I did everything I could to help relieve their potential suffering. It's their own choice to stay and so it's not my responsibility and I shouldn't feel guilty.

 

[RainAndSadness]

It's gonna be difficult in my case because my brother died 8 years ago. And I'm the only child left. So I understand that I'm gonna cause pain when I leave as well, but that's something I can't take into consideration. It's not my business. I didn't ask to be born and my parents did a really bad job raising me. I'm sorry that I'll have to hurt them but it's also not my responsibility. That's my point of view.

 

[lynn14]

I saw this depression meme that said "I don't care if mom cries." and that is basically the point you have to be at, unfortunately. I don't plan to CTB anywhere in the near future, my plan is to live long enough so that my remaining parent will have already passed away and my own children will be grown and independent, so hopefully it will be easier on them. I see taking care of my elderly parent as a God-given duty and I can't see myself letting myself get out of it. My remaining parent has already suffered enough heart break in life, and I don't care to destroy what they love. I am living 100% for others until I do eventually get the relief I desire.

 

[CTB-London]

I do feel bad about leaving my parents as I'm an only child
but the alternative is being stuck here in misery

I'm not an only child but am also worried about the impact on my family. I feel as you do that I don't want to live in misery for others.

 

[Hotsackage]

If I ctbed. I would kill at least my family and friends

 

[Final Escape]

My mom is still alive but I don't feel I owe her that. She was abusive to me and allowed me to be abused by a predator. It caused lots of problems for me in adulthood. It's tough to want to care for her in old age when I felt not cared for as a kid.

 

[lost_soul83]

In short, yes. My only other sibling died of a heroin overdose 7 months ago so I'm the only one left to help them out as they age. My mom is in poor health overall and my dad has metastatic prostate cancer and the doctors have no idea how long he's gonna live. So if I ctb, who's gonna look after them? Makes me feel incredibly guilty.

 

[Final Escape]

A little, but my parents are in better shape (physically and mentally) than me. Both of my parents have a history of depression and suicidal ideation/attempts, but they both have accepted that eventually I will be successful, since I've had so many attempts. It won't be a surprise to them. They take care of me more than I take care of them, so it won't be an adjustment.

My mom is way higher functioning than myself. I'm sure she will figure out how she will handle her old age.

 

[JadedGray]

My mom is way higher functioning than myself. I'm sure she will figure out how she will handle her old age.

My mom has said that she won't mind being in a senior living facility, if it ever comes to that. I don't think it will, since she seems much younger than her age. She also has a large extended family, so a relative would probably take her in before she would have to go to a seniors home.

 

[Sailfisher]

As things are going now I wouldn't be able to provide care for her, so I don't know what help I would be by staying.

 

[TheBlackSwordsman]

Im the youngest of 5 children so in addition to my parents expecting me to be around for them, I suspect my older siblings figure me to be around as they age out as well. And my parents although nearing 80, are in pretty decent health so I suspect they will be around for at least close to another decade. If it wasnt for them, there's a real possibility I would have checked out by now. Then my oldest sister has been like a mother to the rest of us. She has no partner or children, so who will be there for her when she gets old? And one of my brothers is handicapped and in a wheelchair. Who is gonna look after him when he gets too old to take care of himself? If I checked out my family would be devastated. It scares me that the grief might make one of my loved ones decide to follow me. I also feel it would break my parents faith as they are big believers in God and Jesus Christ. It would make them feel like they are cursed or punished, theyve already had their fair share of unfortunate circumstances. I know all this and it eats at me because most of the time I dont want to be here. I hate myself so much for not making better choices in life that would have put me in a position where I would want to live. I cant remember the last time I went to sleep looking forward to waking up the next day.

 

[hunter_lewis]

In short, yes. My only other sibling died of a heroin overdose 7 months ago so I'm the only one left to help them out as they age. My mom is in poor health overall and my dad has metastatic prostate cancer and the doctors have no idea how long he's gonna live. So if I ctb, who's gonna look after them? Makes me feel incredibly guilty.

can't you at least wait until your dad dies? Seems he doesn't have that long

 

[lost_soul83]

can't you at least wait until your dad dies? Seems he doesn't have that long

He has a good chance of living at least 2 years, if not more and quite honestly, I don't know if I can hang in there that long.

 

[moonli8t]

Im the youngest of 5 children so in addition to my parents expecting me to be around for them, I suspect my older siblings figure me to be around as they age out as well. And my parents although nearing 80, are in pretty decent health so I suspect they will be around for at least close to another decade. If it wasnt for them, there's a real possibility I would have checked out by now. Then my oldest sister has been like a mother to the rest of us. She has no partner or children, so who will be there for her when she gets old? And one of my brothers is handicapped and in a wheelchair. Who is gonna look after him when he gets too old to take care of himself? If I checked out my family would be devastated. It scares me that the grief might make one of my loved ones decide to follow me. I also feel it would break my parents faith as they are big believers in God and Jesus Christ. It would make them feel like they are cursed or punished, theyve already had their fair share of unfortunate circumstances. I know all this and it eats at me because most of the time I dont want to be here. I hate myself so much for not making better choices in life that would have put me in a position where I would want to live. I cant remember the last time I went to sleep looking forward to waking up the next day.

I remember as a child I didn't want to go to bed cause I wanted to watch TV some more. That is the only time I look forward to waking up tomorrow morning.