Do you wish your first attempt had been successful? Why or why not?

[Wolf Girl]

If not, why not?

 

[Ironborn]

Wish I had been successful because then I could have finally gotten that endless, dreamless sleep.

 

[TheLastBoyOnEarth]

Yes, because life only got worse. If I had died, I wouldn't be suffering right now.

 

[Wolf Girl]

Yes, because life only got worse. If I had died, I wouldn't be suffering right now.

I'm sorry. I totally understand. It was 20 years in March and none of it was worth living through.

 

[_Gollum_]

Absolutely. Would've saved me so much grief.

 

[DeIetedUser4739]

Although it did get better for a few years, it would have definitely been better to have died because I had the determination to go through with an attempt. I have zero courage now and feel worse than ever before with no chance of getting better.

 

[wCvML2]

Yes I didn't feel guilty before my first attempt for deciding to commit suicide. But after a failed attempt when family members visited me in the psych ward while acting so kind and accepting me, they planted feelings of guilt.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I haven't attempted yet but, if I were to attempt, I would want it to succeed

 

[Bellz&BubSami]

Yes. I do wish it had.. the amount of people it would have impacted was so ridiculously small, I was 9 maybe 10(SI since the age of 6) compared to now as I'm a daughter, a friend, a wife, and a mother...I'm stuck here by chain links of my own creation. They were created in an attempt to find some worth in life...and at this point I wish I'd lost hope a very very long time ago

 

[Agon321]

Of course.

Sometimes a failed CTB can be a positive turning point in our lives.
But I don't want something like that

Failure will cause me enormous shame and disgust.
Additionally, I may have permanent injuries after a failed CTB.
This is unacceptable.

I want to be successful and not think about the past anymore.
I hope so.