Venting Do you wish that you died at a younger age?

[Spiritual survivor]

Yes. It would have been seen as tragic rather than pathetic as it will be now.

Right? I'd rather have left before all the humiliation, because wen u are young people still see u as not having failed but having promise. But when u are older like say 40's they will be like, well she made her bed and some will know about my dysfunctions and mistakes. But they will just attribute my premature death to personal failure alone and not any failures of the institutions that are supposed to be working to improve our lives.

Sorry to hear that. Autism/Asperger's sucks. I have it as well as ADHD, and I'm planning to ctb before 25 maximum. I hate that ASD even has to exist in the first place. There's no cure or medication for it, and we'll always be handicapped socially. We literally have an invisible disability that makes our lives miserable and robs us of our potential.

Exactly. At least u found out sooner before u had to go thru many years of life and additional unnecessary trauma because of these disorders, blaming yourself not realizing it's not all your fault or some character defect.

 

[NocturnILL]

Most definitely, I feel I could've saved myself and saved others from the burden a long time ago. I thought by not doing years ago things would really turn around you know, like "that's just life…" but I definitely feel I've just prolonged my suffering. Now I'm older I almost feel it's not as easy because of so many factors that I didn't think nor see before…idk

 

[fuzzy-clown]

Yes, just to have gotten it over with.

 

[Lookoutbelow]

Yep

 

[executioner1983]

When I was 8 I almost drowned at a relatives birthday party. I would've died if nobody saw but someone did and helped me out. I really wish I had died then. It would've saved everyone a lot of trouble. It might not seem that way to my family but my existence truly is a burden. I am a parasite leeching off of my fathers hard earned money. I don't know why I continue on, wasting all these resources when I know I'm just going to end up killing myself and all of this will have been for nothing.

 

[FatalSystemError591]

100%, and I curse past me for not doing it sooner

 

[Darkover]

at 18 years old i wish i had died

 

[iLikeFrogs]

Yes, I wish I would've died before everything went worse than in was already or when I was still a seemingly happy toddler. I tried to kms for the "first time" when I was 12 and already really depressed but I have vivid memories of myself trying to partially hang on a scarf when I was 4-6yo and when I was around 7. At best it would be if I was never born at all or born as someone else but I'm here and have to take matters into my hands.

 

[sserafim]

at 18 years old i wish i had died

Same, I wish I had died then

 

[plastic]

My suicide should have happened at the age of 5. Unfortunately, it didn't happen then, as it did many times after when I was on the brink of death. Everything after that was unnecessary agony, hope and disappointment... The hope that something positive will happen can lead a person to unnecessary agony for almost half a century.