Do you think youll make it another year?

[HannahB]

I'm bad with planning it always makes me nervous. But I've always felt suicidal. It used to be a fleeting thought but it became more frequent. I remeber when I was younger I used to cut myself and hold a non loaded gun to my head, but now... I've actually tried hanging myself, oding, and slitting my wrists. Its escalating and idk when I'll actually end it but I feel like itll be soon. Idk if I'll last another year and I honestly mean it

 

[Im2high4this]

Nope. I won't see 2020

 

[k75]

No, I really don't.

 

[HannahB]

Nope. I won't see 2020

Really? Do you have a date?

 

[Im2high4this]

Really? Do you have a date?

7 days

 

[Jean4]

I'm hoping Donald Trump makes it easier for me, especially after my failed attempt.

 

[HannahB]

7 days

Well I hope you say goodbye :)

I'm hoping Donald Trump makes it easier for me, especially after my failed attempt.

What do you mean?

 

[Im2high4this]

Well I hope you say goodbye :)

I'll probably post a dick pic and just get banned that day for the lulz


Just kidding. I'll say bye.

 

[Notf1xable]

No way I'll make it another year I'll be lucky to make it into November at this point. I just have one last thing and I'll be good to go.

 

[marcusuk63]

No

 

[Dystopia]

Thinking it could be a "Nembutal November" for me. I don't think planning a specific date is for everyone; myself included.

Planning too far in advance being the issue for myself, it was very consuming and anxiety inducing. I can be fairly impulsive with this method but know it's what I really want at least.

I also noticed you're fairly new to the forum so I'll send you a warm welcome

 

[justanotherday]

No

 

[Final Escape]

I don't know

 

[I’vehadenough]

Lol no way, just making it through the minute is agony

 

[HannahB]

Thinking it could be a "Nembutal November" for me. I don't think planning a specific date is for everyone; myself included.

Planning too far in advance being the issue for myself, it was very consuming and anxiety inducing. I can be fairly impulsive with this method but know it's what I really want at least.

I also noticed you're fairly new to the forum so I'll send you a warm welcome

Thank you so much! And yeah I'm more impulsive that's why this time I got a gun

I don't know

I hate that feeling!!! I feel for you boo!

 

[morningdew]

maybe an asteroid will hit and take us all. I have tried but haven't been fully committed to going through with it. Its more difficult than expected

 

[HannahB]

maybe an asteroid will hit and take us all. I have tried but haven't been fully committed to going through with it. Its more difficult than expected

It's so hard!!!

 

[MeltingHeart]

I don't want to- the idea of that sounds like hell- which would suggest that I am in enough torment to just get on and do it... which I feel like I am... I really am...as some people have said when the pain of living become to much you will be able to overcome SI...but the pain of living DOES feel too much & yet still I can't ! ... well doesn't help I have no easy access to any of the methods I would choose & the others scare me...even though waking up each day does too! What a bloody mess/ fix I am in...sometimes makes me want to laugh...a really sad, painful, despairing laugh that is :(

 

[morningdew]

I think about it all the time and wish I was just gone. Everyday, same conclusion, death will be the only way I end the suffering.

 

[sammii]

I doubt it

 

[HannahB]

I don't want to- the idea of that sounds like hell- which would suggest that I am in enough torment to just for on and do it... which I feel like I am... I really am...as some people have said when the pain of living become to much you will be able to overcome SI...but the pain of living DOES feel too much & yet still I can't ! ... well doesn't help I have no easy access to any of the methods I would choose & the others scare me...even though waking up each day does too! What a bloody mess/ fix I am in...sometimes makes me want to laugh...a really sad, painful, despairing laugh that is :(

Life is just a joke feel free to laugh! But I feel you I'm so sorry sweetie.

 

[*KNAZ*]

I don't know if I could plan an official date to CTB. I think it would be me reaching a certain state of mind over things in my life that just say that it's the right time. I couldn't plan something like this ahead of time too much. So I don't know. Wouldn't bother to go into work or call in. I would just check into a hotel when I'm at that point. Right now it scares me to think I would just not show up for work. I would be afraid I would change my mind about CTB and then get in trouble for missing work. But I think once I reach the point of hotel checkin, I'm hopefully pretty much committed to CTB. So that is a definitely maybe.

 

[Stan]

maybe an asteroid will hit and take us all. I have tried but haven't been fully committed to going through with it. Its more difficult than expected

The irony of waiting weeks and spending all that money on N just for an asteroid to hit as the courier delivers it into your hands

 

[Fragile]

i'm aiming for one last year, i know that my health will not improve and i can't change my reality no matter how hard i try, but i still have stuff to do and i need to distance myself from my family, maybe they will hurt less that way.

but every day i feel like i won't be able to wait that much.

 

[Pykul]

I fully intend not to survive to see the holiday season.

 

[StillWaiting]

I think i will go crazy by then if I don't ctb soon

 

[HannahB]

I fully intend not to survive to see the holiday season.

Dang! do you have a day?

I think i will go crazy by then if I don't ctb soon

Me too

 

[Pykul]

Dang! do you have a day?

Me too

As soon as I finish my slamfire 12 ga.

 

[HannahB]

As soon as I finish my slamfire 12 ga.

That sounds hard core

 

[MeltingHeart]

Life is just a joke feel free to laugh! But I feel you I'm so sorry sweetie.

I didn't realise it was possible to feel this much self hatred & yet so much self pity at the same time - which of course adds the former - so strange to think I used to like myself and only a year ago could never have imagined feeling this way.

I think i will go crazy by then if I don't ctb soon

same- kinda already have!