Help Do You Think About Dying All The Time?

[baller]

Theres probably not an hour I dont think about it ngl

 

[Onelegman]

Almost every moment of the day, eating, reading, in the shower... I look for quick and painless ways and I don't find anything, I think about it so much that I always find some problem. Thanks to this forum I am deciding to hang myself completely, I am still looking for information. The only good time of day is when the hypnotic takes effect and I fall asleep, but even while asleep I wake up before the alarm goes off thinking that I have less than 2 weeks to do it without getting caught. It's awful. I hope I can get the rope and the courage to kick the stool and fall unconscious quickly.

 

[timetodie24]

Yes, it's my favourite pastime , my only hobby

 

[Mi Mi]

It went from just an idea
To thinking every year
To every few months
To taking notes for a plan
To every day all day
Wonder how high is that building
Wonder if I can make them mad enough they'll kill me
I say the same prayer before I sleep
I pray all day when it finally hits me that it will be successful
I think about death and plan it the way one thinks about a special event in their life
It's absolutely torture
It's amazing I haven't snapped on the dreadful people I've encountered

 

[astonishedturnip]

I think about it so much that I daydream and workshop CTB methods using just about everything I see. So unfair that people who want to live drop dead out of nowhere, while we sit here and suffer.

 

[YosemiteGrrl]

Unfortunately all I can do is think about dying unless I am sleeping. I'm at the point I cannot listen to music or even watch TV because my depression is so severe. I feel almost catatonic.. it is horrible

Same

 

[SchizoGymnast]

I think about dying pretty damn regularly. It's a time and energy suck, but it has an addictive quality to it.

 

[J&L383]

The only time I'm not thinking about kms is when I sleep, my dreams are somehow protected from my conscious mind and I feel normal for about 5-10 minutes until I wake up, then comes the dreadful feeling that I'm still alive and wishing I was dead.

Exactly!

 

[eatantz]

I romanticise it, dreaming of dying calms me down

 

[LJ85]

Way more than I thought I did. It's not 24/7, but I've had times where I've obsessively thought about succeeding with my chosen method.

 

[Ashu]

I have frequent spontaneous imagery of myself hanging myself, blowing my brains out, cutting veins, throwing myself from a height, and so on, but it's in the background, like the radio, and soothing.

 

[cait_sith]

The mantras and the constantly repeating scenarios in my head for years on end have become so engrained into my mind, so fully automated that they have become such a part of me that they became the core of my being. It's just default state. If my suicidal ideation would be taken away from me I would deflate like a ballon with only skin remaining as there is nothing else left.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Oh absolutely, even at the most minor of inconveniences.