Discussion Do you talk to people about your suicidal ideation?

[grapevoid]

I am curious
- Have you/do you discuss your feelings or plans about suicide with anyone close to you?
- If you have/do, how do the people around you react?

I have openly discussed my suicidal ideation and with many people close to me in the past, especially when I had just been released from the hospital after a failed attempt. Even while in my outpatient program and being very vulnerable with people close to me most people acted as if it was a joke. So, I am not curious others experience with this.

 

[synthetic_suicide]

To my therapist...to my psychiatrist...I've never attempted suicide, but I have had constant ideation since I was a kid and I only felt safe discussing it with professionals.

Recently I mentioned this forum to my therapist and that I am aware of a few methods, which is the point I am at as I have no clear plans yet.

Reaction has always been...ok I guess? They were trying helping me reframe suicidal ideation as a need for escape from "this" life and not from life.

Overall I have found the approach of my therapist helpful and compassionate, I felt understood. Pain is still unbearable though...

 

[Rymrgand]

I did, yes. I'm pretty open about it. The reaction is usually kinda... Sad? Or at least faking it. They act like they are worried, in some cases it's true and in other cases is not true.

 

[SnowLeopard21]

I've made half-joking allusions to it and it gets met with awkward laughter but nobody's ever probed deeper into if I truly feel that way or if I'm serious about it. My parents already know I've got one foot out the door but they've never had a serious discussion with me about it. As far as I can tell my mom would really be the only one that cares since my dad would prefer I don't exist at all.

 

[apearl]

I have joked about it around friends and siblings before, but never anything serious. I'm Gen Z and Gen Z often joke about ctbing with no intent to do so, so their reactions have always been pretty chill I guess.

Talking about it seriously with people I've only done either here or to my therapist because she knows hospitals aren't a cure-all for suicidal people.

 

[sadalways]

Only over the internet. Most people pushed me away due to that. Almost everyone did actually that i considered close. Except for like... one person that stayed with me... at least for the time being.

 

[roommate]

I talked with my parents about it, a bit on the internet, probably again in therapy.
My parents were sad obviously.
With friends it feels like a no-go.

 

[billie]

my occupational therapist knows that i'm chronically suicidal

 

[a.hamza.13]

No, never 'cause nobody really cares. I just don't want to waste my words and make joke of my emotions.

 

[LivingDeadTGirl]

Nope. Nobody wants to hear about it. Unless it's a really good song, apparently.

 

[eliosilver99]

No, I have no one to tell who'll take it seriously and not tell me to do the same 5 things that don't work

 

[cme-dme]

I used to with friends but not anymore. I think my friends know that I might be suicidal just not how much. I was much more open about how I was feeling when I was younger. Nowadays I just don't want them to worry about me to much so I avoid the topic of suicide.

 

[r.vival]

I am curious
- Have you/do you discuss your feelings or plans about suicide with anyone close to you?
- If you have/do, how do the people around you react?

I have openly discussed my suicidal ideation and with many people close to me in the past, especially when I had just been released from the hospital after a failed attempt. Even while in my outpatient program and being very vulnerable with people close to me most people acted as if it was a joke. So, I am not curious others experience with

i remember when i was around 14 i was horribly down (i dont even remember why) and screamed to my dad that i'd ctb. laughing he offered to bring me to the bridge. it kinda stuck with me, that's why never told anyone again. my ex did find out (yesterday actually) that i am on this site. he told me to delete my account and whatever. it's nice that he cares but his optimism feels cheap. especially someone who was capable to hurt me that much.

 

[ikigaimg]

I talk about it with my mom.

 

[Tiredofit25]

I don't bother talking about it. People will either make fun of you or they won't care.

 

[Hecubaa]

Not anymore. I am very impulsive so sometimes I mention it to whoever I might be involved with at the time but I regret doing so as it's difficult for them and only alienates them and makes the dynamic worse.

I have lost a lot of friends in the period when I was vocal about my suicidal thoughts. I keep them to myself now and, when they are too much, I come to this forum. I was institutionalized once and it was one of the worst and most traumatic things to ever happen to me. I promised to myself I'd never discuss it with anyone ever again and I'm going to hold onto that until I'm dead, be it now or several decades down the line. I make exceptions when other people talk to me about their own suicidal ideation/intentions. I know how important it is to know you are safe sharing it with somebody, but I try to be both honest and impersonal about it -- I frame it as something I've been through but not as something I am still experiencing.

 

[areyousafe??]

Not unless I'm asked about it. It's not something I raise in conversations because I know I will receive negative reactions.

 

[zixd]

No one listens beside you guys , love you all

 

[Timelapse]

Lonely... I'm Mr. lonely.. I have nobody... for my own.. aaahooooooo!


Ive lost all my friends after my last attempt... they call me suicdee..
now they hold me in contempt.. waiting for me to hang from a tree...

 

[SchrodingerIsDed]

I used to, wh

I am curious
- Have you/do you discuss your feelings or plans about suicide with anyone close to you?
- If you have/do, how do the people around you react?

I have openly discussed my suicidal ideation and with many people close to me in the past, especially when I had just been released from the hospital after a failed attempt. Even while in my outpatient program and being very vulnerable with people close to me most people acted as if it was a joke. So, I am not curious others experience with this.

Used to, when I was a teenager. Funny thing was I really didn't want to die then. But I had a group of friends, we all had substance abuse problems, and we SH ourselves. It seemed like when we SH, the others would pour on tons of sympathy, and it was like reinforcing the SH even though it was meant to try to help the others. Which was funny, because we all didn't mind hurting ourselves, but it hurt us when our friends hurt themselves. Which is kind of a nice statement about humanity, on some level. Social workers who want to save the world really cared, then.

Now. As a full grown adult man. Ha. No. No one cares. They care when you're a teenager. Or if you're a woman. They don't care about men. We're supposed to be able to handle everything on our own, and if we can't, we're considered less than. Ironically, considering that "no man is an island." Therapists are just there to get money and go home, and they're just sick and tired of hearing these grown people complain.

I suspect many would like to murder me themselves just so they don't have to deal with anything or for fun. Or they'd enjoy watching me die. That's how I feel about it. So no. Even after I tried to ctb recently, I adamantly refused that's what it was the whole time. No one gives a shit. And that's fine. It is what it is. As a man you're supposed to generate value, and if you don't generate value, you're just a waste to humanity. Unfortunately, but also that's just how it is. I did my best to produce for humanity, but turns out I'm not good enough, so it is what it is.

 

[frommolecules2stars]

Nope. Nobody wants to hear about it. Unless it's a really good song, apparently.

Oh man.. that reminded me of my ex. He used to obsess over Nirvana and Kurt's songs on suicide. But whenever I tried to bring it up, he just shut down and refused to listen. He was very abusive to me and almost never listened to me so it's not a surprise. I once told him, "Maybe I should make a goodbye song like him so you actually listen." He got pissed.

 

[bananaolympus]

Yes to my former psychiatrist and therapist and my close family, right when it started 10 years ago

 

[grapevoid]

It's kind of frustrating.
Immediately after being released from the "psych ward" the last time, I genuinely tried to work towards recovery. I did everything I was supposed to, I opened up to my SO, my children's dad, my parents etc. I followed my safety plan, attended therapy and the outpatient program blah blah blah.
My spouse doesn't take it seriously and has said he "can't deal with it" and that I need to stop trying to CTB, it's stupid. (LOL) My children's father said it's manipulative to try to CTB? Ok… my parents care but struggle with really understanding, I don't think they can process the feelings involved so it's difficult to talk about it.

All that being said, I quickly became mentally exhausted trying alone, I don't feel I have the support system required for recovery, and I don't want to weigh everyone around me down. I genuinely would rather just be done but I swing between feeling like it would be a favor to them and feeling guilty, which is why I really tried after my last attempt to work towards a different outcome. I feel that opening up to the people close to me only reinforced my suicidal tendencies and I'm tired, ya know? :/

Oh man.. that reminded me of my ex. He used to obsess over Nirvana and Kurt's songs on suicide. But whenever I tried to bring it up, he just shut down and refused to listen. He was very abusive to me and almost never listened to me so it's not a surprise. I once told him, "Maybe I should make a goodbye song like him so you actually listen." He got pissed.

well, he was an abusive ahole it sounds like but I face the same emotional shut down from my current spouse, idk why I ever try to tell him anything that matters honestly hahahah

 

[LivingDeadTGirl]

Oh man.. that reminded me of my ex. He used to obsess over Nirvana and Kurt's songs on suicide. But whenever I tried to bring it up, he just shut down and refused to listen. He was very abusive to me and almost never listened to me so it's not a surprise. I once told him, "Maybe I should make a goodbye song like him so you actually listen." He got pissed.

I remind you of your abusive ex? Probably a better way to phrase that. I don't even have a single Nirvana song on my depression playlist.

 

[sickofwaiting]

i don't. i just can't fathom that they'd have anything useful/comforting/helpful to say. i feel like any time i open up about my feelings, the people around me just make me feel worse. usually unintentionally

 

[frommolecules2stars]

I remind you of your abusive ex? Probably a better way to phrase that. I don't even have a single Nirvana song on my depression playlist.

Uh. What? I did not say that.

"No one wants to hear about it unless it's a good song" is what reminded me of that incident. Basically, what you *said*, is what reminded me of it.

 

[divinemistress36]

I use to tell my mom but theres no point to now. Nobody wants to hear it and theres nothing anyone can do about it

 

[Jorvak]

I use to tell my mom but theres no point to now. Nobody wants to hear it and theres nothing anyone can do about it

It's pretty pathetic how people only act like they care when someone actually goes through with it. Meanwhile its a social taboo for a person to even discuss their darkest feelings. All of the hypocrites want the benefit of appearing like they cared for a suicidal person while never wanting anything to do with providing them support or care when they were alive. And at the end of the day, even after someone does the act, it will ultimately be blamed on the persons "condition", never the circumstances surrounding what caused their suicidal depression, including having absolutely no support from the people who claim they "cared" post-mortem. It's a common observation i've noticed. Either someone truly genuinely cares about a suicidal person to provide them the support they need to help them improve their circumstances and to feel better, or they don't. the act of pretending to care needs to be the social taboo, not the person expressing their feelings..

 

[yxmux]

Nowadays, not really, no. Evidently, there is no use, and thinking there is borders on fantastical thinking.

 

[divinemistress36]

It's pretty pathetic how people only act like they care when someone actually goes through with it. Meanwhile its a social taboo for a person to even discuss their darkest feelings. All of the hypocrites want the benefit of appearing like they cared for a suicidal person while never wanting anything to do with providing them support or care when they were alive. And at the end of the day, even after someone does the act, it will ultimately be blamed on the persons "condition", never the circumstances surrounding what caused their suicidal depression, including having absolutely no support from the people who claim they "cared" post-mortem. It's a common observation i've noticed. Either someone truly genuinely cares about a suicidal person to provide them the support they need to help them improve their circumstances and to feel better, or they don't. the act of pretending to care needs to be the social taboo, not the person expressing their feelings..

I Agree love is not just about words but actions! If I had a depressed kid Id do everything in my power to help them