I have wanted to buy a bigger drawing tablet for a year, 13 inch is too small for me. Now that my dog is dead I could buy one to comfort myself, but I feel too shitty to paint or draw. Previously if someone had given me a 24 inch 4k monitor I'd have been so happy, now I'd probably not even open the package.
I don't even want PS5. I wanted that Samsung Flip phone but now I don't want that either. I want my doggy.
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It's odd to not want anything. Or actually, I do want a fucking lot of things. They are just buried under a shitton of loneliness, fear, terror, misery, sadness, anger, hatred, destruction, fucking everything so that I can't even feel them. I just fear I wouldn't get them because the world seems to hate me for a reason it won't tell me.
It's annoying. Previously I was always sure that if I bought something it would work. Now I feel that if I bought a million drawing tablets none of them would work.