Do you remember when you first learned of suicide?

[AutisticAcademic]

Do you remember when you first learned of suicide? By the time I was 7, it was clear it was a weirdo but I was a girl in the 90s so I didn't get an autism diagnosis. I used to daydream often about being reborn. Somehow, I felt if I was reborn I could be normal and fit in. I didn't have much of a conception of death as nobody I knew, not even a family pet, had ever died.

When I was 10, I learned of suicide. It was then that I realized I didn't want to be reborn; I wanted to take my own life.

 

[lucyanne]

I was 8 when I knew I had no desire to live.
I was 8 when I knew the first person I knew committed suicide successfully.
I was 8 when I knew that 1 day I would do the same.

 

[needwaytohell]

I didn't know what death even meant I think it was like when I was 3 years old when I first learnt that life is not permanent kinda made me uncomfortable. I think I first saw suicide on tv shows although I ignored it. When I hit 10-11 I learnt like death erases and eases everything and given that at the same time things in world started getting rough (like kicked out of class serious learning disability 0 social interaction) the idea became more concrete. It was probably the best discovery can't imagine living without it.

 

[CentreMid]

I was 12 when I learned what suicide was. I was 14/15 when I came to the conclusion that it was how I wanted to go

 

[FakeProdigy]

I learned of suicide at 7 from a movie I watched with my father on TV. Some prisoner killed himself after getting raped by other prisoners. I definitely wasn't supposed to see what I saw and it left me pretty distraught. I was 17 when I started seriously looking into ways to end my life. I would cut my wrists and go on long walks in the middle of the forest at night hoping some wolf or bear would chase me and kill me. Now I know this was just me trying to find the easy way out and delegate the responsibility of killing me on something else. I'm more prepared now, and I realize nobody else can do it but me.

 

[bananaolympus]

when i was very young like 7 an aunt killed herself from an od over a breakup she was 17 and used to play with me

 

[dontletthembribeyou]

One of my teachers committed suicide when I was in 2nd grade. They sent us all home with a letter explaining the situation and instructed us to give it to our parents without reading it. I did what I was told, and my parents told me that my teacher had quit. Within the next few days, I learned from the other students what had actually happened. I confronted my parents about it and they refused to admit what really happened.

I know it sounds like the other kids might have been lying to me, but I managed to find his obituary online later on. The date was corroborated and no cause of death was listed.

 

[hang in there]

When I was 7 or 8 my older sibling attempted suicide in front of me
And my parents were just screaming at her for being so stupid as to fuck that up too

 

[cyanidefries]

I can't remember for the life of me, but I know that I was around 9 when I seriously began desiring death. I'd fantasize about my own funeral and stash eyebrow razors in my closet, just in case one day I gathered the nerve to slit my wrists. I was a fucked up kid.

 

[Jade10666]

Do you remember when you first learned of suicide? By the time I was 7, it was clear it was a weirdo but I was a girl in the 90s so I didn't get an autism diagnosis. I used to daydream often about being reborn. Somehow, I felt if I was reborn I could be normal and fit in. I didn't have much of a conception of death as nobody I knew, not even a family pet, had ever died.

When I was 10, I learned of suicide. It was then that I realized I didn't want to be reborn; I wanted to take my own life.

I learned of it in about early teenage years - not that I didn't know about it - but it started encroaching on a space in my head. I made my firest attempt when i was about 15 and its been with me as a way out ever since