Discussion Do you really want to die?

[zadig777]

Doctor Bullied me into meds that fried my hair and half fell out. The other half slowly falling out

were u getting psychiatric drugs?
the fallen hair is ur only motive or?
if not,what sre ur other motives?

 

[Shay]

were u getting psychiatric drugs?
the fallen hair is ur only motive or?
if not,what sre ur other motives?

It wa ambien. I told him I can't do meds. And yes my only reason

 

[Morning Angel]

Do you really want to die, or just want the suffering to end, and death seems like the only way out? I often feel this way. Had my circumstances been different, maybe I'd actually want to live.. but that's just wishful thinking. I'm planning to ctb very early Sunday morning. I have everything setup, just can't help but feel sad.

I don't think anyone truly wants to die but sometimes it's impossible to renegotiate life's terms. Let us know when it's time? Would hate for you to feel alone.

 

[IfHeDiesHeDies]

It wa ambien. I told him I can't do meds. And yes my only reason

So sorry to hear that. Were you warned of the side effects of the medication? Or was it an acute allergic reaction? Have you seen a dermatologist to see if the hair will regrow if you stop taking the medication ? i know how it feels as my hair also fell out during chemo but has regrown since I decided to stop any further treatment.

 

[Taylored]

I wanna die but I struggle to gain the confidence to go out and do what I need to do.

 

[zadig777]

I don't think anyone truly wants to die but sometimes it's impossible to renegotiate life's terms. Let us know when it's time? Would hate for you to feel alone.

perfectly said,good job
no one wants to die,but shit happens
there are mature and immature reason tho

 

[BlackDragonof1989]

Yes and no, if I could feel "normal" and be like "normal and healthy" people then maybe not. Physically I'm not 100%, but fortunately nothing medically wrong really. Mentally though, yeah, changes all the time *smiles sympathetically*

 

[mwu14]

Really want to. I've never enjoyed life other than listening to music and a few other things.

 

[IfHeDiesHeDies]

I don't think anyone truly wants to die but sometimes it's impossible to renegotiate life's terms. Let us know when it's time? Would hate for you to feel alone.

Very well put. Sometimes the damage done by life cannot be undone and death is the only solution no matter how much one wishes to live on.

 

[itsallover]

No but I have to do it to end the pain and suffering. I think that people in general want to live a long and happy life. Some of us just get completely fucked over. I have fought enough battles in my life and I can't beat the latest one no matter how hard I try. I know it's my time to go because all I have left is nothing but doctor appointments and I'm still relatively young. It sucks getting sick and being disabled well before your time. I'm ready to move on. Life just wasn't for me.

 

[Shay]

So sorry to hear that. Were you warned of the side effects of the medication? Or was it an acute allergic reaction? Have you seen a dermatologist to see if the hair will regrow if you stop taking the medication ? i know how it feels as my hair also fell out during chemo but has regrown since I decided to stop any further treatment.

Wasn't Warned. And I stopped taking months ago. Like right away. It isn't growing back and it was so long and thick

 

[MachineGunDani]

I don't want to do the act of ctb but I don't want to live. I do not like this bullshit people call life. I don't want any part of it. I experienced it for 36 years and I'm good. All done! Lol lemme off this fucking ride!!! If reincarnation happens...I'll b pissed lol

 

[IfHeDiesHeDies]

Wasn't Warned. And I stopped taking months ago. Like right away. It isn't growing back and it was so long and thick

I would urge you to see a dermatologist as it sounds like an allergic reaction to me. it takes more than a few months for the hair to regrow again. Please don't give up hope yet.

 

[Shay]

I would urge you to see a dermatologist as it sounds like an allergic reaction to me. it takes more than a few months for the hair to regrow again. Please don't give up hope yet.

I have seen a few really good ones who specialize in hair

 

[IfHeDiesHeDies]

I have seen a few really good ones who specialize in hair

What is the diagnosis?

 

[windingdown]

the crush of loneliness is almost unbearable, it also dovetails into a feeling of completion of my life's journey.. I don't feel I belong here on this planet.. space, time.. I feel whatever I was here to accomplish that I have and yet, I continue to awaken here.. go figure..

I feel you on this - I feel like I've completed anything that I was here to accomplish. I was a high achiever through my 20s and have done some really good, unusual things. Now it just feels like the decline. There are no more highs for me. I'm happy to let my pinnacle be enough.

 

[Shay]

What is the diagnosis?

That the meds impacted hair follicles and the chemistry of meds wasn't good chemistry for my body. These hair specialists have seen a lot of incidents of hair loss with medicine and said someone should have warned me especially since I am holistic and never take any meds

 

[Two Face]

I want the suffering to end, but suffering is an inherent component of existence. Death certainly seems like the way to go.

 

[IfHeDiesHeDies]

That the meds impacted hair follicles and the chemistry of meds wasn't good chemistry for my body. These hair specialists have seen a lot of incidents of hair loss with medicine and said someone should have warned me especially since I am holistic and never take any meds

Oh no....... I am so sorry. Your psychiatrist is so irresponsible. He should have his license revoked.

 

[Shay]

Oh no....... I am so sorry. Your psychiatrist is so irresponsible. He should have his license revoked.

He wasn't a psychiatrist. I was healthy as a horse and went to an "integrative" medicine MD as a health consult. He did bloods and told me I was so sick and needed to sleep better. I fought it but he was insistent and was scaring me. I panicked and when left I agreed.

 

[Deutschv2]

Yeah, i feel like we're all here cuz survival instinct really.

 

[QueenEtna]

I find that very interesting. Maybe you and I can talk sometime.

I'm always looking for people to talk to :)

 

[Cee]

I'm terrified of death but i know its my true best option and the right choice for me. Doesn't make it any less scary though. The only comfort i have is that i truly dont know what happens when we die.. no proof of anything, good or bad. whatever it is, i hope my spotify playlist transfers over

 

[IfHeDiesHeDies]

He wasn't a psychiatrist. I was healthy as a horse and went to an "integrative" medicine MD as a health consult. He did bloods and told me I was so sick and needed to sleep better. I fought it but he was insistent and was scaring me. I panicked and when left I agreed.

that's medical malpractice, no-one should be able to bully you into taking medications.

 

[nuclearsnake]

I don't want to live in this body and with the past and the mind that I have. I reckon living would be great if I had been born a different person but I'm the way I am now and I don't see any future for me at all. I'm just a mistake. I have to die.

I'm only alive because it's still so difficult to go through with suicide. I've been so close but I'm still here.

 

[Nem]

Well, up until a few years ago my life was going great. It really was, then I met this girl that was controlling af, had some anger issues and had the empathy of an undertaker. Then, a coworker offered me some of his valium and the bullshit happened, meds ryined my life and my fiance sealed the deal by demanding I keep taking the meds.
I want society to know exactly wtf happened

 

[starcrossedfate]

Yes.

 

[MEoDP]

Truthfully,there is a lot of things I want to do,but we know that life is not fair and the opportunities are not available to everyone.

It still remains to be seen where I'll end up,but if I'm destined for a mediocre life of a wage-slave working 9-5,I'd honestly rather be dead.

 

[weedoge]

I honestly don't know. On one hand I don't want to be here, on the other hand I don't want to cease to exist either (assuming death is the end. And even if we had scientific proof that the soul exists, we wouldn't know what the soul actually is, or how the afterlife works, and where we will end up. Maybe some parts of the psyche like memories or habits would still be dependent on the brain and you'd still lose them after death, just to speculate. You'd still fear death because it would be outside of your comfort zone, even if you were immortal)

Theres a stickied thread for all kinds of talk like this if you might like! Unfortunately don't really believe these things so its oblivion for me

 

[Fcancer]

I definitely don't want to die, just feel like i've run out of options. Have had cancer twice and now a bone marrow transplant before 30. Just completely worn out and worried about impending GVHD that will completely ruin me, I don't want to live with that. Have struggled with chronic depression and anxiety for 12 odd years, and now after transplant everything is just far too hard. Sometimes I wish i'd just had a terminal fast type that took me in a few months, so I didn't have to go through all of this.