Venting Do you keep losing friends and you don’t know why?

[catlover20]

Hello,
this is my very first post on this forum.

Lately, I've been thinking about how I've lost touch with pretty much all my friends over the years. From childhood friends who lived just down the street, to people I knew in high school and gymnasium, it's like everyone's just drifted away. I never really questioned it before, just figured maybe that's how life goes. But now, it really hits me how lonely it feels.

I'm not even sure why this happened. Maybe it's because I've always been bad at social stuff and I'm a total introvert at heart. Or maybe I'm just a difficult person to talk to, since I rarely open up to anyone. Honestly, I probably know more about the people around me than they do about me.

Perhaps I'm simply not meant for this world. My mind feels constantly burdened, filled with thoughts about the absence of having anyone I can truly speak to or rely on for comfort when things become difficult.

I'm sure this is something that's been talked about before, but I felt the need to share it and get it off my chest.

Have you ever felt this kind of quiet disconnection from everyone around you, like you're drifting further away without really knowing why?

 

[sambrosia]

Hello and welcome! I'm new too.

I feel like I could have written this post. Even when I had friends, I'd sometimes imagine how I'd end up alone at some point after. These days I barely have friends, but even when I did, my mind would be creating these feelings that were in stark contrast to reality.

To your question— yes, I don't really know why, and that was always the frustrating part.

But yes. Like this weird fog that separates me from people. Or like there's always a little chasm between me and others. When I was further in the grips of depression, I would sometimes dissociate even while talking to someone, just being blank and far off.

And yes, as an introvert, it's harder for me to make friends to replace the ones I lost. I always felt like, I don't know, abnormal, that I was shook by transitions or just unable to transition, and others did quite easily.

 

[vitbar]

It is normal to have friends who come and go like this. Not thinking much about it is also normal. Friendships are easy when circumstance brings people together regularly (eg school, work). Circumstances change and friends do with them. Longer term friendships are possible with effort on both sides to create circumstances. If not it's easy to drift apart.

Being introverted, depressed, and/or anxious etc makes it harder to make new friends, and harder to keep them when circumstances change. It can make you seem uninterested among other things.

 

[trying ungracefully]

Yeah. When my last friendship ended I actually noticed the day it ended and I don't know what I did wrong because her mom said "are you going to tell her" she shook her head and we never hung out again. I don't know what it is with me because people are fine with me until they are not.

Maybe it will be different if I have friends now. It's been a few years since I've had friends.

 

[catlover20]

Hello and welcome! I'm new too.

I feel like I could have written this post. Even when I had friends, I'd sometimes imagine how I'd end up alone at some point after. These days I barely have friends, but even when I did, my mind would be creating these feelings that were in stark contrast to reality.

To your question— yes, I don't really know why, and that was always the frustrating part.

But yes. Like this weird fog that separates me from people. Or like there's always a little chasm between me and others. When I was further in the grips of depression, I would sometimes dissociate even while talking to someone, just being blank and far off.

And yes, as an introvert, it's harder for me to make friends to replace the ones I lost. I always felt like, I don't know, abnormal, that I was shaken by transitions or just unable to transition, and others did quite easily.

I completely understand what you mean. Making friends has always been a challenge for me, and even when I am with the few I managed to connect with, my mind is still elsewhere.